Top Ten Asinine And Imaginary Startings And Endings Of Novels Of All Time

The Top Ten

1 "The trouble began when my Maths teacher started shooting the class with a rifle..." and "...and for the first time in a long, long, time, I was able to fart peacefully."

No it won't be censored. But it's really really funny. Superb list, Hez. !

Now, now, surely this will be censored?

Lolz, thanks for your kind compliment, Kieretsun!

2 "My wife Jane was dead. Killed..." and " 'So you're the one who killed my wife?!,' I asked Harry, my best friend. He nodded proudly. 'By jolly, thanks!,' I exclaimed, and we went to have a cup of tea."

Yes, exactly what I was thinking.

3 "The trees were green, the skies were blue, and the air was clean. I was happy. Little did I know that..." and "The trees were green, the skies were blue, and the air was stinking. (I had farted.)"

4 "I looked into the beyond... I foresaw death, disaster, and doom..." and "And heck, there hadn't been any doom or that crap. I smirked."

Encourages positive thinking. Does it?

5 "All I ever wanted in my life was to be with Bella..." and "she asked me tenderly, 'Do you love me?' I snorted. THE END"

6 Walking through the dark alleyway with his pants tight and moustache saved, the general lit the matchstick and set his hair on fire.

7 The trees, making a beautiful canvas of twisted limbs and trunks, danced their way through the wind in victory.

8 In this world of grievances nothing is right or wrong, except what this story will tell you.

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