1 Get someone to come up behind you and knock you unconscious with a hammer
Not joking, I've considered it... It would've been stupid if I had done it, but that's what sleep deprivation does to you!
Then sleep for life..
2 Expend all of your energy by making enough noise to keep everyone else in the world awake
You'd need to act as a polar satellite to account for all the different time zones. Much like Santa Claus would. Once you're done, you'll sleep like a log!
3 Put chloroform on your pillow and bury your face into it
I'll let you know if it works when I've woken up.
4 Attach a shocker which shocks you every time your eyes open or your body moves
I have did this before, I passed out and then I woke up with a picture of Nicki Minaj on it, I passed out again.
But it may condition you into being scared of moving...
It would work as positive punishment after a while.
5 Slow the rotation of the Earth by spinning continuously with opposing angular momentum so the night is longer for you to get sleep
6 Write a fantasy thriller series about an evil warlock who uses his dark magic to prevent sleep throughout his fantasy world
7 Prank call your ex and get so embarrassed that you pass out
8 Make a heartbreaking song about sleep deprivation affecting your life and make a heavy dubstep remix of it for you to play on a loop
9 Imagine what life is like for someone who can sleep perfectly
One time I stayed up for three days straight... When I was in first grade. A normal sleep schedule is just unimaginable.
It's perfect. I value my nine hour long beauty sleep.
I wish I could. It's just too hard.
10 Recall from memory the length of time you have been asleep for ten thousand previous nights and find an appropriate statistical distribution
Too bad I've only lived for 6,611 nights so far. None of them had perfect sleep in them, or so it seems.
The Contenders
11 Take drugs until you black out
12 Watching the SpongeBob episode "Waiting" and falling asleep from boredom
13 Hide in a mattress store before it closes and when all the staff leaves, just sleep on one of their mattresses.