Best Chuck Norris Facts

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101Chuck Norris once dropped a pebble. That was the day the dinosaurs went extinct.

102Chuck Norris takes 24-hour naps three times a day

103They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1.

104Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

105Chuck Norris Can Take Down a Fighter Jet by Pointing at With His Finger and Saying Bang
This is the only one that actually made me laugh.

106They invented a Chuck Norris toilet paper once... .it wouldn't take s*** from anyone.

107Who would win Chuck Norris or Justin Bieber? Justin Bieber because Chuck Norris dosen't hit girls.
Yeah! Beiber haters! I love this so much, I hate Justin Bieber, he sings, he looks like a girl, and I just have no idea why he has so many fans
Justin beiber could kill his dog beat up his girlfriend smoke 2 pounds of weed and his fans still would say everyone makes mistakes.

108Zombies only exist to clean up after Chuck Norris

109Chuck Norris is so fast that when he goes to bed, he can turn off the lights and be under the sheets before the room gets dark.

110When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

111How many push ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
It's very original. Pretty much like answering a multiple-choice question with "yes". Worth a vote in my opinion
Haha, basically means that the word "infinity" is a finite word for Chuck Norris.

112Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing
Classic! This one should be way higher. There is only one man who could do that.

When you look up Chuck Norris in the dictionary you are immediately met with a roundhouse kick to the face. Now you know.

113Chuck Norris doesn't use spell check. The correct spelling is however Chuck Norris spells it.

114Chuck Norris's Xbox 360 once got the Red Ring of death. Chuck Norris then painted the lights green and it worked again.
Ask him to help fix mine! Because mine doesn't work!

saint4ever37

Dang.. Chuck Norris IS awesome!

115Einstein's original theory of relativity: If Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

116Chuck Norris once gave blood. The next day the blood was used on a group of people and now they are known as the X-Men.

117Newtons third law must be wrong, there is no positive reaction to Chuck Norris' round house kick.

118Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at McDonalds. he got one.

119Chuck Norris puts the FIST in PACIFIST.

120Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Atlantic Ocean.

121Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

122Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor! If Chuck Norris is really a God, he will go to my house and slam my face on the keyboardasfklweiofhweiog4howeigl6e7idjskaiow5oazxi9xichxuc8hduyfiulg3hfwoie ruouwure843t4wekiiweyiqwiyt7iw373tyy83wkir8fhoaqw9ealiqd
Really love this one
! This is like the best one!

123Chuck Norris shoots a cow, and eats the beef, then he craps out gunpowder, makes a bullet, and repeats. This is what some people refer to as The circle of life.

124Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman over the phone.

125If Chuck Norris is running late, then time better hurry the heck up.

126Chuck Norris once spit near a truck, the spit came alive and crawled into the truck's engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Awesome chuck norris fact, laughing uncontrollably.
I guess Transformers director would die after reading it
I lold at this one its genius man I mean... READ IT! Its awesome... For anyone who has seen a almost died of boredom watching the transformers movies

127Chuck Norris doesn't wear a cup, he wears a barrel.

128Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of everything around him.

129Chuck Norris owns a large private estate in the middle of the Atlantic. We know this as the Bermuda Triangle. Chuck Norris does NOT tolerate visitors.

130Chuck Norris once got a hole-in-zero.

131Chuck Norris can hear sign language

132Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Brilliant, just brilliant... It was the only one that actually made me laugh out loud.

133Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
it's utterly possible for him to punch himself over again just by reversing his steps backward

134What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

135Chuck norris once pissed into a can. We now know this as Red Bull

136Chuck Norris once cut a man in half just to see what he had for lunch.
Um I don;t understand this one

137Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

138Chuck Norris ironically lives in a roundhouse.

139Great mystery solved: the missing piece of apple in Apple's Logo was eaten by Chuck Norris!
LMFAO! This made me laugh till I passed out then I had a dream. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked me in my dream and I woke up and I flew and hit my wall

kiwimaster3000


140Chuck Norris facts are FACTS

141When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, he doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Laugh out loud
This is a funny ass joke if ANY one bit Chuck Norris the would turn into him
Chuck Norris you legend!
Wait, a zombie actually bit Chuck Norris?

142When Chuck Norris chose to come to Earth he roundhouse kicked the four corners of the world, thus creating the circle and the sphere. When he chooses no longer to be among us he will undo his creation and the circle will finally be squared.

143What does Chuck Norris bring to a gun fight? A knife.

144Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

145Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

146Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

147There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

148Chuck Norris pities Mr. T

149Chuck Norris hates Raymond and loves Chris.

150Chuck Norris once lit a fart in the sahara forest.

151They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In the Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

152The Black Eyed Peas used to be just The Peas until they met Chuck Norris
! This one so awesome it deserves to go up the rank

153Chuch Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

154They had to use a stunt double for Chuck Norris in "Expendables 2" because Chuck Norris is not "expendable".

155The Civil War ended because Chuck Norris decided to build a house on the Mason Dixon Line.

156if you have a dollar and Chuck Norris had a dollar he would kick your arse and take your dollar.

157It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

158Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick you in the back of the face.
This is definitely the best joke so far! Because it's the most random! Laugh out loud love Chuck!

159You miss 100 of the shots you don't take. Chuck Norris misses 30.

160The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

161Google will not search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find him, he finds you. Suggestions: Run, before he finds you
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You have to try this one. Just search chunck norris on google with "I'm feeling lucky. " You MUST TRY IT PLEASE!

undefeatablebeyblader


162Chuck Norris blinks once a day. That's all the rest he needs.

163Chuck Norris doesnt turn on the light, he turns off the dark

164Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked The Doctor. The Doctor degenerated.

165Only Chuck Norris can rob a bank online

166The Devil is Chuck Norris for Halloween

167Chuck Norris is the only Person who can Kick You in the Back of the Face

168Chuck Norris played Red Rover once... 3 people were decapitated.

169Goku fought Chuck Norris. Then Chuck told Cell to kill him.
The scouter confirms It is right Chuck norris' power level is over 9000

170Chuck Norris killed the Grim Reaper

171Chuck Norris doesn't pray to God, God prays to Chuck Norris.

172Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.

173Fear of Spiders is called Arachnophobia, Fear of tight spaces is called Claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

174Chuck Norris bet NASA a beer that he could re-enter the earth's atmosphere......NASA owes Chuck a beer.

175Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

176If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

177If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

178Telemarketing machines call every single phone number in existence...except Chuck Norris'

179Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. He got one.

180Chuck Norris shaves with a John Deere tractor.

181Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

182Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

183Chuck Norris can't get killed by a gun but chuck norris can kill a gun.

184Chuck Norris does it like Sarah Lee.

185Chuck Norris calls his balls The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Very clever and unexpected. Made me laugh out loud!

186Once, Mr. T, Chuck Norris, and Vin Diesel all entered the same room at the same time. The sheer force of their combined presence resulted in time stopping for seven days while God attempted to recreate the world.

187When Chuck Norris unsafely removes a usb device no warnings come up.

188Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells their blood.

189Chuck Norris can't take part in Movember because hair doesn't grow on steel

190How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

191Google can't find Chuck Norris cause Chuck Norris finds you

192Little Known Fact: Every year the bulls of Pamplona run from Chuck Norris.

193The dinosaurs weren't wiped out by asteroids, they got wiped out because Chuck Norris came to Earth

194Chuck Norris closed the door of his house in America while he was sleeping in Maldives
Great fact I guess chuck forgot to close his door before he came for vacation really funny

195Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light off, he turns the dark on.

196Chuck Norris taught Agent Smith to fight and how to reproduce himself

197Chuck Norris doesn't Google, Google asks Chuck Norris for information.

198The Kool-Aid man once saw Chuck Norris.

199Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he chews bees!

200Someone stole Chuck Norris daughter's virginity, so Chuck went and got it back.

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This list was created 7 years, 38 days ago and has been voted on over 8,000 times. This top ten list contains 428 items, has been remixed 28 times and has been blogged about 2 times.

Updated Thursday, October 23, 2014


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