Best Jokes of All Time

SmoothCriminal

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The Top Ten

1
Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!
Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid
Absolutely stupid; even more so than "Why did the chicken cross the road". What if I said "come join the Nazis, we have pancakes"? The reaction would generally not be laughter because it isn't witty.
It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better.

LokiLaufeyson2000


2Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
I hate this one. There r beautiful women everywhere
It is not funny at al
That is the funniest one. It should be first.
[Newest]What the heck is this suppose to mean

iiwreky


3Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
This joke is probably the best
Hell even finds this positive
Inside a homeless shelter hobos are laughing
Sharks in the tanks are... Also laughing.

Jesters tell this to their kings
Other people spread the joke
Kangaroos hop as they hear the joke
Everyone laughs at this masterpiece.

Inside my heart is laughing
Super Nintendos drop to the ground when the joke is heard.

Black people don't find it offensive
And blondes don't too.
Dads tell their sons, and you should to...

DapperPickle


4Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
because there's 20 of them, hehehehe

SmoothCriminal

That's just sick, but funny, lol

SmoothCriminal

Oh, I get it! 20 eight-year olds, right!

Animefan12


5How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
I hate this joke. It's not funny and offensive to MJ. How can you people let this stand.

Draco

With a babies penis
Man, this joke is bad. It's offensive.

Animefan12


6Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!
It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P

booklover1

Mom, I'm on coke
Is it good?
No! My name is on the coke bottle!

This is what would happen. Then I would finally find the "Jill" on the name bottles.

Merilille


7Come to the nerd side... We have pi
Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.
Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.
Put that on a shirt

PositronWildhawk

[Newest]I'm hungry, but don't rush me :P

8Yo mama so fat, she takes up space
It's so lame that its funny
So dumb but funny
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on a dollar, George Washington sang "Oh say can you see get your fat ass off me" is better :P

9Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis
Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "
Awesome! I have another.
Kid1: Do you want to be the Chairman Of the World?
Kid2: Yes, of course!
Kid1: That means you are a COW!
Kid2: Oh, Chairman Of the World! Yes! It's abbreviation is cow! Awesome!
Kid1: Yeah, and it's you.
Kid2: Aargh!

Animefan12

Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss... !

10I wub u.

The Contenders

11Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire
Yo mama yo mama sucks

12Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?
Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.
Cos he has no chance in HELL

SmoothCriminal


13What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.
It said EXCEPT for the eagle - they were basically making fun of their own joke
How the hell would an eagle be underground?

Animefan12

What the... That doesn't even make sense.

14Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth
Yo mama so fat when she caught a magikarp, She was imprisoned.

If Yo mama splashed into North Pacific Ocean, Alaska Drowned, so what if her magikarp splashes?

Animefan12

Yo mama so fat when she splashed in North Pacific Ocean, Alaska drowned!

Animefan12


15What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun
Man, this is even worse than "What's yellow and has a peel? A banana! "

Animefan12

Is this an anti-joke?
Correction: what makes a pitter-pattering noise? A spider with a plaster on.

16A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?
Haha nothing ever hapens at a job you hate

17Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier
You am no real super sand

18The only thing school is teaching me is texting without looking, hehehe
Yeah, teachers refer to daydreaming kids as "Physically present but mentally absent! "

Animefan12

And sleeping with my eyes open haha.

19Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
Why did the blonde get to the other side? Because she crossed the road. Yeah...
Well, it's just the classic, isn't it?
I don't know why but that was funny, even though iv heard it about 1,000,000 times

New_ZealandFTW


20Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.
Ha ha! This is nice!

Animefan12


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This list was created 4 years, 299 days ago and has been voted on over 300 times. This top ten list has been remixed 4 times and has been blogged about 1 times.

Updated Thursday, August 27, 2015


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