Best Jokes of All Time

SmoothCriminal

The Top TenXW

1Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!

Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid

Absolutely stupid; even more so than "Why did the chicken cross the road". What if I said "come join the Nazis, we have pancakes"? The reaction would generally not be laughter because it isn't witty.

It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better. - LokiLaufeyson2000

Yeah, I agree I've either heard all these jokes before or there just plain rubbish.

V3 Comments
2Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!

I hate this one. There r beautiful women everywhere

That is the funniest one. It should be first.

What the heck is this suppose to mean - iiwreky

It is not funny at al

V3 Comments
3Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookiesV1 Comment
4Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

because there's 20 of them, hehehehe - SmoothCriminal

That's just sick, but funny, lol - SmoothCriminal

Oh, I get it! 20 eight-year olds, right! - Animefan12

V1 Comment
5Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!

It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P - booklover1

Mom, I'm on coke
Is it good?
No! My name is on the coke bottle!

This is what would happen. Then I would finally find the "Jill" on the name bottles. - Merilille

6How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

I hate this joke. It's not funny and offensive to MJ. How can you people let this stand. - Draco

V2 Comments
7Come to the nerd side... We have pi

Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.

Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.

V3 Comments
8Yo mama so fat, she takes up space

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on a dollar, George Washington sang "Oh say can you see get your fat ass off me" is better :P

Boooringg! That's the most typical thing in the world. Its more of a fact than a joke.

V2 Comments
9Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis

Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "

Awesome! I have another.
Kid1: Do you want to be the Chairman Of the World?
Kid2: Yes, of course!
Kid1: That means you are a COW!
Kid2: Oh, Chairman Of the World! Yes! It's abbreviation is cow! Awesome!
Kid1: Yeah, and it's you.
Kid2: Aargh! - Animefan12

Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss...!

V1 Comment
10I wub u.

The Newcomers

?Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock knock! Who's there? The Chicken. The chicken who?
?R2-D2 is the most obscene character in movie history, because everything he said was bleeped out.

The Contenders

11Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire

Yo mama yo mama sucks

12What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a lion? One is heartless, roars angrily at everything, has stupid hair and eats the innocent... The other is a lion.

It said EXCEPT for the eagle - they were basically making fun of their own joke

V2 Comments
13Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?

Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.

Cos he has no chance in HELL - SmoothCriminal

14Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth

Yo mama so fat when she caught a magikarp, She was imprisoned.

If Yo mama splashed into North Pacific Ocean, Alaska Drowned, so what if her magikarp splashes? - Animefan12

Yo mama so fat when she splashed in North Pacific Ocean, Alaska drowned! - Animefan12

15Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier

You am no real super sand

V1 Comment
16What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun

Man, this is even worse than "What's yellow and has a peel? A banana! " - Animefan12

Correction: what makes a pitter-pattering noise? A spider with a plaster on.

What's make a pitter-pattering noise? A spider with a plaster on.

V1 Comment
17A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?V1 Comment
18The only thing school is teaching me is texting without looking, hehehe

Yeah, teachers refer to daydreaming kids as "Physically present but mentally absent! " - Animefan12

V1 Comment
19Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

Why did the blonde get to the other side? Because she crossed the road. Yeah...

Well, it's just the classic, isn't it?

I don't know why but that was funny, even though iv heard it about 1,000,000 times - New_ZealandFTW

V1 Comment
20Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.

Ha ha! This is nice! - Animefan12

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List StatsUpdated 5 Feb 2016

300 votes
59 listings
5 years, 96 days old

Top Remixes (4)

1. Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
2. Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
3. Come to the nerd side... We have pi
LokiLaufeyson2000
1. Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.
2. My papa got stung from a bee and the bee said 'buzz kill' and my father thought he'd die from that bee sting.
3. She wants the direct.
PrinceAntho
1. A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?
dm111

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