Best Jokes of All Time

SmoothCriminal

The Top TenXW

1Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!

Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid

Absolutely stupid; even more so than "Why did the chicken cross the road". What if I said "come join the Nazis, we have pancakes"? The reaction would generally not be laughter because it isn't witty.

It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better. - LokiLaufeyson2000

I don't like this joke because it is not funny

V5 Comments
2Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!

That is the funniest one. It should be first.

I hate this one. There r beautiful women everywhere

Excuse me I am a woman and it should be about men

What the heck is this suppose to mean - iiwreky

V4 Comments
3Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookiesV1 Comment
4How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

I hate this joke. It's not funny and offensive to MJ. How can you people let this stand. - Draco

Man, this joke is bad. It's offensive. - Animefan12

V3 Comments
5Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

because there's 20 of them, hehehehe - SmoothCriminal

That's just sick, but funny, lol - SmoothCriminal

Oh, I get it! 20 eight-year olds, right! - Animefan12

V1 Comment
6Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!

It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P - booklover1

Mom, I'm on coke
Is it good?
No! My name is on the coke bottle!

This is what would happen. Then I would finally find the "Jill" on the name bottles. - Merilille

7Come to the nerd side... We have pi

Lol. I'm not a nerd in any sense but this is pretty funny. I'll tell my nerd neighbor to use it, she will probably smother me with know large of pi while doing her distinctly nerdy laugh.

Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.

Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.

V3 Comments
8Yo mama so fat, she takes up space

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on a dollar, George Washington sang "Oh say can you see get your fat ass off me" is better :P

Boooringg! That's the most typical thing in the world. Its more of a fact than a joke.

V2 Comments
9Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis

Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "

Awesome! I have another.
Kid1: Do you want to be the Chairman Of the World?
Kid2: Yes, of course!
Kid1: That means you are a COW!
Kid2: Oh, Chairman Of the World! Yes! It's abbreviation is cow! Awesome!
Kid1: Yeah, and it's you.
Kid2: Aargh! - Animefan12

Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss...!

V1 Comment
10I know Victoria's secret and it ain't pretty.

The Contenders

11What has four legs and goes booo? A cow with a cold.
12Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire

Makes no sense at all but I just love it for that. The best on here in my opinion. There's something about it that just makes you laugh. I don't even know what it is but lol.

V2 Comments
13Why did the clock break? It was his time.
14Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastierV3 Comments
15I wub u.V1 Comment
16Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?

Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.

Cos he has no chance in HELL - SmoothCriminal

17A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?V1 Comment
18What is black and white and red? A sunburned zebra.
19What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a lion? One is heartless, roars angrily at everything, has stupid hair and eats the innocent... The other is a lion.

It said EXCEPT for the eagle - they were basically making fun of their own joke

How the hell would an eagle be underground? - Animefan12

What the... That doesn't even make sense.

V1 Comment
20Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth

Yo mama so fat when she caught a magikarp, She was imprisoned.

If Yo mama splashed into North Pacific Ocean, Alaska Drowned, so what if her magikarp splashes? - Animefan12

Yo mama so fat when she splashed in North Pacific Ocean, Alaska drowned! - Animefan12

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List StatsUpdated 1 Jul 2016

400 votes
79 listings
5 years, 243 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
2. Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
3. Come to the nerd side... We have pi
LokiLaufeyson2000
1. Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.
2. My papa got stung from a bee and the bee said 'buzz kill' and my father thought he'd die from that bee sting.
3. She wants the direct.
PrinceAntho
1. A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?
dm111

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