Best Jokes of All Time

SmoothCriminal

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The Top Ten

1
Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
I love this joke.

funnyuser


2Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
I hate this one. There r beautiful women everywhere

3Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!
Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid
It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better.

LokiLaufeyson2000

lmao... that's why anikon went to the darkside, lmao

SmoothCriminal

More comments about Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!

4Come to the nerd side... We have pi
Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.
Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.
Put that on a shirt

PositronWildhawk


5Yo mama so fat, she takes up space

6How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
With a babies penis

7What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.

8Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
because there's 20 of them, hehehehe

SmoothCriminal

That's just sick, but funny, lol

SmoothCriminal


9Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!
It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P

booklover1


10Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis
Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "
Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss... !

The Contenders

11What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun

12Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire
Yo mama yo mama sucks

13Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?
Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.
Cos he has no chance in HELL

SmoothCriminal


14A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?

15Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.

16My papa got stung from a bee and the bee said 'buzz kill' and my father thought he'd die from that bee sting.

17The only thing school is teaching me is texting without looking, hehehe

18Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier
You am no real super sand... Aahh

19Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
I don't know why but that was funny, even though iv heard it about 1,000,000 times

New_ZealandFTW


20Yo mama so stupid she she stuck a battery up her butt and said I got the power
My favourite yo mama joke.

DunnaNunnaBatman


21She wants the direct.

22I wub u.

23Yo mama so fat she has her own website

24What do you call a baby with no arms, no legs and floating in the ocean? Answer: F****d!
Now this is funny. Was laughing until my face turned purple, then carried on laughing! It's cruel, but hilarious too!
I cried mysef to sleep when I read this joke. Absolutely hilarious. Some other jokes on this list are pretty good as well but this one is the best of the lot of them. Laugh out loud

25How many babies does it take to make a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw 'em!

26Q. Whats red and smells of blue paint A. Red paint

27Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen?
I hope you get hodgkins lymphoma

28Why did Sally fall off of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SALLY.

29Your mom is so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund

30I know Victoria's secret and it ain't pretty.

31What is a cow's favorite sandwich? A peanut utter sandwich

32Dyslexic man walks into a bra

33Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth

34Yo momma is so fat and stupid, after I told her "it's chilly outside" she ran out the door with a bowl and spoon screaming, "wheres the chili?!?"

35Q: Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? A: You cant unload a truck full of bowling balls using a pitchfork.
I don't like the baby jokes cause I have a 3 month baby sister and makes me feel bad, esp this one

36When I watch movies, when people go underwater, I hold my breath to see what it's like for them. I nearly died in Finding Nemo.

37Have you seen the movie constipated ? No. It hasn't came out yet!

38When life throws you Thor, throw him back and demand Loki

39When life throws you Loki, Throw him back and demand Thor

40Fat kid tells Skinny kid to eat. Skinny kid said "You eat. Ops sorry on second thought don't eat."

41Man in a bra says, "I am not gay. I am a gay drag queen."

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List Info

This list was created 3 years, 318 days ago and has been voted on over 200 times. This top ten list has been remixed 3 times.

Updated Monday, September 15, 2014


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