Best Jokes of All Time


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The Top Ten

Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
I love this joke.


2Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
That is the funniest one. It should be first.
It is not funny at al
I hate this one. There r beautiful women everywhere
[Newest]What the heck is this suppose to mean


3Come to the nerd side... We have pi
Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.
Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.
Put that on a shirt


[Newest]Not bad but I've seen better

4Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!
Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid
It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better.


Never! But uh, now just how many cookies are we talking about here?!
[Newest]Yeah, I agree I've either heard all these jokes before or there just plain rubbish.

5Yo mama so fat, she takes up space
Boooringg! That's the most typical thing in the world. Its more of a fact than a joke.

6How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
I hate this joke. It's not funny and offensive to MJ. How can you people let this stand.


With a babies penis

7What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What the... That doesn't even make sense.

8Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!
It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P


9Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
because there's 20 of them, hehehehe


That's just sick, but funny, lol


10What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun
Is this an anti-joke?
Correction: what makes a pitter-pattering noise? A spider with a plaster on.
What's make a pitter-pattering noise? A spider with a plaster on.

The Contenders

11Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis
Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "
Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss... !

12Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?
Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.
Cos he has no chance in HELL


13Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire
Yo mama yo mama sucks

14Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.

15My papa got stung from a bee and the bee said 'buzz kill' and my father thought he'd die from that bee sting.

16A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30?

17The only thing school is teaching me is texting without looking, hehehe
And sleeping with my eyes open haha.

18Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier

19Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
Why did the blonde get to the other side? Because she crossed the road. Yeah...
Well, it's just the classic, isn't it?
I don't know why but that was funny, even though iv heard it about 1,000,000 times


20Yo mama so stupid she she stuck a battery up her butt and said I got the power
My favourite yo mama joke.


21She wants the direct.

22I wub u.

23Yo mama so fat she has her own website

24What do you call a baby with no arms, no legs and floating in the ocean? Answer: F****d!
Now this is funny. Was laughing until my face turned purple, then carried on laughing! It's cruel, but hilarious too!
I cried mysef to sleep when I read this joke. Absolutely hilarious. Some other jokes on this list are pretty good as well but this one is the best of the lot of them. Laugh out loud

25How many babies does it take to make a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw 'em!

26Q. Whats red and smells of blue paint A. Red paint

27Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen?
I hope you get hodgkins lymphoma
Who brought you into this world? A woman.

28Why did Sally fall off of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SALLY.

29Your mom is so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund

30I know Victoria's secret and it ain't pretty.

31What is a cow's favorite sandwich? A peanut utter sandwich

32Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth

33Yo mama so stupid she went to the ocean floor with a pineapple to meet SpongeBob

34Person 1: Knock Knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Britney Spears. Person 2: Britney Spears who? Person 1: Britney Spears... Person 2: ? Person 1: OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!

35A horse walks into a bar. 5 men see the risk associated with this situation and quickly leave.

36Dyslexic man walks into a bra

37Yo momma is so fat and stupid, after I told her "it's chilly outside" she ran out the door with a bowl and spoon screaming, "wheres the chili?!?"

38Fat kid tells Skinny kid to eat. Skinny kid said "You eat. Ops sorry on second thought don't eat."

39Q: Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? A: You cant unload a truck full of bowling balls using a pitchfork.
I don't like the baby jokes cause I have a 3 month baby sister and makes me feel bad, esp this one

40When I watch movies, when people go underwater, I hold my breath to see what it's like for them. I nearly died in Finding Nemo.

41Have you seen the movie constipated ? No. It hasn't came out yet!

42What sport do boxes play? Boxing

43Q: How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 11. One to screw it in and 10 to take 200 photos of it for Facebook.

44What has 1 foot? A leg!

45When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes
This is both funny and true.


46What's 9+10? uh 21

47A horse walks up to a bar and the barman says, 'why the long face?'. The horse, unable to comprehend the complexity of the situation, promptly craps everywhere.
Because, who DOESN'T love horse jokes?

48When life throws you Thor, throw him back and demand Loki

49When life throws you Loki, Throw him back and demand Thor

50Man in a bra says, "I am not gay. I am a gay drag queen."

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This list was created 4 years, 92 days ago and has been voted on over 300 times. This top ten list has been remixed 3 times and has been blogged about 1 times.

Updated Sunday, February 01, 2015

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