Best Simpsons QuotesThe best quotes from the wittiest and most quotable show on television. Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.
The Top Ten
1Doh - Homer Simpson
2Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.' - Lionel Hutz
3I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. - Homer Simpson
4Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
5Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.' - Homer Simpson
6"Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic..." - Homer Simpson
7Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. - Moe Szyslak
8Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender-monkeys! - Willie
9I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you. - Abe Simpson
10They call them fingers but I?ve never seen them fing...Oh, there they go. - Otto the Bus Driver
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11To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! - Homer Simpson
12You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. - Homer Simpson, when on the phone
13Hello, my name is mister Burns, I believe you have a letter for me. [P.O. Worker: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?] I don't know... - Homer Simpson
14Hello. I?m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It?s all lies. But they?re entertaining lies. And in the end, isn?t that the real truth? The answer is: No.
15Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! - Ralph Wiggum
16English, who needs that? I'm never going to England - Homer Simpson
17How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me? - Homer Simpson
18Ha-ha - Nelson
19I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. - Homer Simpson
20Maude Flanders: I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they shut that place down!
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This list was created 9 years, 183 days ago and has been voted on over 2,000 times. This top ten list contains 145 items, has been remixed 9 times.
Updated Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Updated Tuesday, May 26, 2015
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