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1Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.' - Lionel Hutz
3I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. - Homer Simpson
4Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.' - Homer Simpson
5Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. - Moe Szyslak
6"Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic..." - Homer Simpson
7Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender-monkeys! - Willie
8Hello. I?m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It?s all lies. But they?re entertaining lies. And in the end, isn?t that the real truth? The answer is: No.
9I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you. - Abe Simpson
10They call them fingers but I?ve never seen them fing...Oh, there they go. - Otto the Bus Driver
11Hello, my name is mister Burns, I believe you have a letter for me. [P.O. Worker: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?] I don't know... - Homer Simpson
12To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! - Homer Simpson
13You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. - Homer Simpson, when on the phone
14Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
15Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! - Ralph Wiggum
16Back in Edinburg, we had a coal miners strike. All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive, not even Willie! - Groundskeeper Willie
17Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, Like Englishmen and Scots, Welshmen and Scots, Or Japanese and Scots, Or Scots and Scots, Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!
18Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. - Homer Simpson
19How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me? - Homer Simpson
20What do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking something like No TV and No Beer Make Homer Something Something. [Marge: Go Crazy?] Don't mind if I do! (goes crazy) - Homer Simpson
22Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing.&quo
23If you don't like your job you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half assed, that's the american way- Homer Simpson
24I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. - Homer Simpson
25If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time. - Lisa Simpson
26What?s a wedding? Webster?s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one?s garden. - Homer Simpson
27I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron! - Homer Simpson
28Chew through my ball sack. - Principal Skinner while tied up in a dodge ball sack
29There, pretty as a picture ... Ach! Zombies! ... There, pretty as a picture. - Groundskeeper Willie
30Bart: Dad You Killed Zombie Flanders! Homer: He Was A Zombie?
31English, who needs that? I'm never going to England - Homer Simpson
32I bent my wookie - Ralph Wiggum
33I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz* - Moe Szyslak
34Eat my shorts - Bart Simpson
35Let's see... Farmer Billy's smoke-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's bacon-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's travel bacon... Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself, I also sell handguns! - Apu
36Ow! My eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it! - Lenny
37I'm already feeling like a chicken, I just made an egg in my pants - Ralph Wiggum at a chicken pox party
38(Marge) Homer there is a family of possums in here (Homer) I call the big one bitey.
39Arrrrrrrrrrr my hairstyle - Marge
40My country 'tis of thee, Austria-Hungary, obey your king. - Mr. Burns
41My nose makes its own bubblegum (blows a snot bubble) - Ralph Wiggum
42Ahh blow back - Ralph Wiggum
43Dental plan, Lisa needs braces. - Homer Simpson
44People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads! They want names like Mustang and Cheetah, vicious animal names - Herbert Powell
45Get bent - Bart Simpson
46"Hello Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on!" - Mr Burns
47OK, OK, I won't go stalk Lenny and Carl. Now.... I'm Going Out....to .... Stalk.... (laughs) he he he DOH. - Homer Simpson
48Why does everything I whip leave me? - Homer Simpson
49Dear Mr. President: There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. PS, I am not a crackpot. - Grandpa
50(Marge) What kind of mileage does it get? (Ranier Wolfcastle) One highway zero city
51Thank you. come again - Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
52Taxes? I thought this was the line for Metallica - Otto Mann
53This is indeed a disturbing universe - Maggie
54I was saying Boo-urns... - Hans Moleman
55Hello Moe's, home of the largest small screen T.V. - Moe
57Mmmmmm...Purple.... - Homer eating a grape jelly doughnut
58An aurora borealis? At this time of the year, at this time of the day, localized entirely in your kitchen? - Superintendent Chalmers
59That's where I saw the leprechaun - he told me to burn things - Ralph Wiggum
60When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap outta you okay? Next I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat! - Moe
61I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T! - Homer
62Moe: "Barney, show Homer the exit" Barney: "There's an exit?"
63I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! - Homer Simpson
64Alright, Brain. I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson
65Well, whenever I?m confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions. - Abe Simpson
66This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. - Ralph Wiggum
67I'd expect that kind of language in Denny's, but certainly not here!!! - Flanders after Moe screws up with his restaurant idea
68Over there's the games room. We're not allowed in there. - Abe Simpson
69I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! - Homer Simpson
70Look! I'm a unitard! - Ralph dressed as a unicorn
71Bart Simpson: I just have one question about hair: where does mine start? Head, head, head... hair? Where's the border? Lisa Simpson: Oh, my God! Me too!
72Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson
73I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
74Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow! Oww!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow. - Homer Simpson
75Why you little! - Homer Simpson
76She knew my one weakness, that I'm weak! - Homer Simpson
78Lisa, I thought I told you not to listen to Captain What's His Name at church!- Homer Simpson
79(Homer) Oh so miss light luggage (Lisa) Maybe you're just Mr. strong muscles (Homer) Well, I have been eating more
80How's about givin me another beer ugly - Barney Gumble
81Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand - Homer Simpson
82Saxamaphone, saxamaphone. - Homer Simpson
83Nelson "Hey Simpson! Nice footy pajamas, did your mommy buy those for you!?!" Bart "yeah, who else would?" Nelson "...Alright Simpson, you win this round..."
84"I'll die before I surrender, Tim." - Bart
85 I think he's talking to you. - Homer (Mr. Thompson)
86Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
87I didn't do it - Bart Simpson
88"I sleep in a race car bed, do you?" (Kirk Van Houten) "I sleep in a big bed with my wife" (Homer)
89In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! - Homer Simpson
90Those kids are, like, so sweet. [sobs] If only they had had peewee hockey when I was a lad. [sniffs] Oh well. [grabs crowbar, rips seats apart] - Snake
91Maude Flanders: I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they shut that place down!
92"Inflammable means flammable? What a country!" - Dr Nick Riviera
93Need acceptable currency... for delicious treat! - Comic Book Guy
94My name Oatmeal? - Mr. Burns
95Aww, look at him. He's like a little angel that killed 50 million people - Homer Simpson
96It tastes like...burning! - Ralph Wiggum
97Bart: "Hey is that dad?" Lisa: "That or Batman has really let himself go."
98Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! TV: You stupid hahahahaha!
100My nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen. Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunes, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes? I'd like to see that - Mr Burns
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