Top Ten Most Bizarre News Headlines

The Top Ten
1 Dead Man Remains Dead
2 Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

...Haha! ... GAS...FART! Sorry. It's an illness of which I hope there's no cure.

3 Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

I bet the bus driver thought it was a good idea too.

4 Psychics Predict World Did Not End Yesterday

I don't need to predict it, I know for certain. And I'm also not a psychic.

WOW GOOD JOB PSYCHICS!
TOO BAD I'm NOT THAT SMART

5 Man Charged Over Falling Bomb

I saw this on BBC News once. It may be a serious issue, but how did the anchor girl keep a straight face?

6 Drugs Runner Hid Crack In His Pants

I couldn't decide which was the funniest to vote for but I actually remember this one and it 'cracked' me up then and it's doing the same now! :D

When that guy's released, then, I suppose everyone would be laughing right in his face.

Laugh out loud I totes remember this headline.

7 Person Murdered Appears to Be Dead
8 Miners Refuse To Work After Death
9 Man Announces Plan to Hunt Donald Trump and Feed Him to His Family
10 Man Banned From All Libraries on Earth

He was openly jacking off. He didn't even do it between the shelves, too!

The Contenders
11 Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
12 Princess Diana Alive Hours Before She Died
13 Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders

Awkward, that. Is it their own company stockholders that they don't like?

14 British Push Bottles Up Germans
15 Man Denies Comitting Suicide

At this point he should be acquitted.

I knew it was him, I just KNEW...

Gasp! We all know he did it

16 Fewer Blows to the Head Would Reduce Brain Damage

No! You don't say!

17 Man Arrested For Chewing Pencil
18 Thieves Get Nicked

It comes to something when not even thieves are safe from thieves! :D

19 Puddle Splash Victim Vows Revenge
20 Police Hunt Man After String Of Sex Assaults On Buses
21 Rapist Gets Raped
22 Scientists Find Aliens Residing in Village
23 Cop Shot At By Unarmed Black Man

Saw this recently, and my immediate thought was, any idiot can see through this contradiction in terms. But I subsequently imagined just the type of idiot who wouldn't.

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