Top Ten Funniest Text Message Alerts

So many different text alerts. These are some I can remember because they made me laugh. Add some that you think would make great alert tones as well. Doesn't matter if they're made up. If you think it would sound funny, add it to the list.
The Top Ten
1 (In a posh English voice) Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid someone is endeavouring to contact you telephonically. Shall I tell them to f*** off?

This should be an answerphone message. Imagine if your grandmother or the taxmen phoned you, and got this! Chortle!

2 (Yoda) Ooh; message from the dark side, you have!

This actually used to be my text tone. I got rid of it after it went off in a big crowd near Hyde Park. So embarrassing.

3 This is a sexy text message. Shall I read it out loud?

Everyone will be listening for the message.

Haha I'd be like no no no NO Don't

4 Let my fart noise alert you to a text message

Why did I get a "Weird Colonial Hygiene Practices" ad right under this..?

5 Psss! Shhh! Listen. . . YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

I seriously want this one. Fabulous

Brilliant to hear in a library. Haha!

6 It's your wife. . . Again!
7 Hey someone has actually sent you a message. Pity you don't know how to answer!

This might be Nick Clegg's text tone.

8 (Leonidas' voice) This is..... MESSAGE!!!
9 Don't read this text message. It's another from your stalker
10 Bazinga
The Contenders
11 From Psycho: This is your Mother, Norman!
12 The Queen is on hold

This would be hilarious (also kinda embarrassing and if you want, sad, but anyways) in public now, since, Y'know. Post-2023.

Great way to draw attention

13 Your XXX delivery has arrived

Embarrassing..

14 Orgasm noises
15 A voice: beep beep. Clunk, bang, plop, plop, ping. You just can't get the staff nowadays.
16 Rakim yo ugly ahh got a message
17 The mail man's here
18 I love my man
19 You've got a text, but it's not from that girl. Sorry.
20 Let me out, I’m stuck in your pocket
21 Oh crap! It's your sister!
22 (Rebecca Black style) Message, message, now you have a message. Everyone's looking forward to read it out loud!
23 Going to Ouija mode...
24 Someone says taco
25 I know where you live
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