Top Ten Ludicrous Theories As to Why Awful Music Is Popular

PositronWildhawk
The most sane of us are displeased by the music on the modern mainstream scene, and we're always looking for an explanation for its unnecessary attention. Here are some ridiculous conspiracy theories that may answer your questions. Or...maybe not...

The Top TenXW

1The seemingly pointless monologues in idiotic mainstream songs actually have a meaning that only the radio stations can detect, and so they prioritize these without decoding it for the most of us.

This is ridiculous. The artists release singles (or full-fledged songs, which, determined by how popular the artist or song is, will either chart or not. It's unlucky that awful music has charted, but that's the way music can go. If you seriously believe that the entirety of the mainstream is awful, however, I seriously wish you good luck in being an arrogant music critic who won't allow his taste to expand from EDM and rock.

For all we know, Anaconda could be making them question humanity. But still, it does that enough. - PositronWildhawk

2Mental institutions can only afford mainstream radio, so the radio found the only possible way to entertain inmates.
3The government is suspicious of good music, and so try to censor it without looking suspicious themselves.
4The awful music of today is deterring an extraterrestrial empire, and so playing this music everywhere will postpone, if not prevent, an alien invasion.

Yes indeed! The safest and quickest way to stop an alien invasion. Everyone should blast out mindless pop all at the same time for the good of planet Earth. We must not delay! Do it now! Justin Bieber, it's now time to earn your money...! - Britgirl

This music is already very alien to me. But actual alien music might be interesting. - PositronWildhawk

It's either this stuff or we'd have to break out Slim Whitman's yodeling - see Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! - Billyv

Katy Perry might be responsible - ruJILLous

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5Mainstream pop stars have taken hostages, and are claiming a ransom by being paid millions.

I think this may explain some of the more explicit music videos. - PositronWildhawk

6Kanye West's ideas for a presidential campaign are actually good, and the media want to give him a better reputation before the next election.
7Meaningful songs are too complicated for most non-intelligent people, and could potentially cause further damage to their brains.

The intellectually inferior beings don't understand the prominence of alternative music. - Merilille

8There is a large message in the bigger picture a message which each consecutive seemingly awful song is a part of. Over decades of bad music, this message is slowly being pieced together from meaningless #1 hits.
9Government research is making bad excuses for musicians with cases of abnormal psychology famous so they can give psychological analysis more easily.

Is there any sign of an unknown mental condition evident from the Anaconda music video? That's a rhetorical question. - PositronWildhawk

1095% of people born after 1995 were born with a mind-controlling chip produced by the Illuminati, causing them to like the crappy music of artists that are controlled by the Illuminati, to ensure worldwide domination

I guess I'm one of the 5% lucky people then - BlueFrostOfThunderClan

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The Contenders

11The YouTube codes for popular and awful music codes happen to be the equal to common computer codes used by the internet worldwide, and so running this code inadvertedly loads the video.
12JaysTop10List has a global influenceV1 Comment
13The music industry is secretly run by Satan so he can produce more songs about drugs, partying, sex, smoking, and drinking

This could be possible. Nah I'm just kidding - BlueFrostOfThunderClan

14The radio stations of the world are controlled by a single man who lives in the Sahara Desert and hallucinates awful music but then that music becomes a reality through the power of the imagination of this one guy hallucinating the awful music
15Underground music was so loud it destroyed the outdated radio station speakers
16Pop musicians are the only musicians not being questioned by the FBI
17Many people, particularly teenagers and young adults, will only listen to what is "new", no matter if its good or bad, so the emphasis is crank out "product" regardless of quality.

Drivel-like pop has always existed, even when the Beatles and Hendrix were on the charts, there was plenty of crapola like the Ohio Express singing "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy". However, the very next song could have been by Marvin Gaye, so it balanced out. The difference is that now, John, George, Jimi, and Marvin are all dead, and there is simply nobody to take their place.

So in that case, the media could potentially have had a mix of good and bad. But no... - PositronWildhawk

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List StatsUpdated 9 Dec 2016

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1 year, 81 days old

Top Remixes

1. The seemingly pointless monologues in idiotic mainstream songs actually have a meaning that only the radio stations can detect, and so they prioritize these without decoding it for the most of us.
2. Mental institutions can only afford mainstream radio, so the radio found the only possible way to entertain inmates.
3. The government is suspicious of good music, and so try to censor it without looking suspicious themselves.
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