Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Read On Your Birthday Card

The Top Ten
1 Congrats, today you’ve turned from a boy into Mummy’s little pedophile!

Not the best of things to see written and be proud of - unless you are one of course!
Funny list, Pos! Happy 18th birthday to you, my friend ;).

This comment finished me. Happy Birthday PositronWildhawk!

Haha! Another great & funny list to be proud of. Happy 18th birthday, Wildhawk!

Happy 18th birthday PositronWildhawk

2 Another year closer to your inevitable death…

P.S. to stop worrying, I attached a gun to this card, so you can get it over with quicker. It just costs YOUR LIFE.

I always say this whenever it's my friend's birthday.

You give me this card, I'll give a knife in your neck!

This sounds like something from Borderlands.

3 If you can read this, you must think you’re recuperating! Sorry to disappoint. Happy 90th Birthday!
4 You'll find a cheque enclosed with your new bank details. You’re financially responsible for everything you do now!

Please don't constantly tell me this.

Please do constantly tell me this.

The reason I enjoy being a kid.

5 Mozart was dead before this age. Why aren’t you?

This would be perfect to write in a birthday card that you're gonna send to someone you hate.

Because I killed him

6 May God bless you on this day. For all the things you do when you’re drunk.

This happened to my friend once.

7 18 Today! You’re legally an adult today, so I hope you’re younger than your crush.
8 Someone else will be born today. Let’s hope it was someone more prodigal.
9 Happy 145th Birthd-, uh-oh.
10 Happy Birthday, old man. Stay away from the light.
The Contenders
11 Now that you are older, it is time to tell you that you're adopted
12 CONGRATULATIONS! You're one year closer to death!

That's would be weird to say.

This one is pretty funny.

13 I think you're old enough to watch porn!
14 I just ran over your girlfriend
15 F*** You
16 You're f****** old!
17 When are you gonna die?
18 Oops, I forgot my wallet
19 All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe!
20 Allahu Akbar!
21 A dog will take a dump over your head, so look above you!
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