Worst First Names for a Boy

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The Top Ten

1
Dick
Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too.

aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick

noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny.

fireinside96

[Newest]Isn't this a swear word?

2Gaylord
Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.
I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed
Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name
[Newest]Poor kid his parents must REALLY hate him!

3Satan
Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?
Because satan is bad
I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.
[Newest]Now Jesus, that is a good name but Satan is a horrible one.

4Cannon
Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though.

Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon.

Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.
[Newest]I think Cannon is a good name.

5Laqueesha
Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?
Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."
Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name
[Newest]Somebody named their kid that?

Garythesnail


6Ian
If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended
I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.
What are you talking about the meaning of the name Ian is "god is forgiving" not "it"! So Ian is a good name to have!
[Newest]I think this is the worst name ever

7Ib
This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!
That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names
I make this noise when I am confused. "Ib! Ib! "

username34

[Newest]This would be funny and mean!

funnyuser


8Seaman
"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "
Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?
I would hate to be named Seaman.
[Newest]Might as well call your kid Semen

9Wolfgang
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer
Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you

ronluna

For everyone who is culture-blind, Wolfgang happens to be Mozart's last name and if you don't believe me, look it up.

ImAKillerQueen

[Newest]Sounds like a terrorist group

10Angus
The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.
Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you
Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!
[Newest]Sounds like anus, laugh out loud

The Contenders

11Osama
Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!
It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"
Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid

12Abcde
-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...
I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels
My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.
[Newest]At least he will never forget his NAME, cause almost everyone knows it? Laugh out loud

13Zane
My father almost named me this!

gunsnroses

Best name ever, a-hole.
My brothers friends name is zane laugh out loud
[newest]
It was supposed to be a top 10 list

14Weegee
Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!
Its a great name laugh out loud ill call my dad this :]

15Dakota
No I like that name for a guy okay and of you don't that's fine but that ne is grate
Only Girls Are Named Dakota For Crying Out Loud! I Mean come on!
Well you are wrong its a great name your info is so wrong id care if its a state I like something must be wrong with you
[newest]
Dakota is hot name for a guy.

16Skyler
It seem his parents cannot spell. As in Fillup.

17Duncan
There's a kid at the school I teach at named Duncan. Students would tease him and call him Duncan Donuts, until he said that his last name was Heinz. That's right, like Duncan Hines cake mix.
Such a horrible name for a nice kid, and even worse with that last name...
Their name is Duncan because their parents had sex in the Duncan donuts washrooms.
It sound so much like dumb can so dumb people are it a rubbish name if this was my name I would ask to change my birth certificate
[newest]
The name of a character on total drama

18Garrett
I don't think this is a very bad name for a boy its actually a very good name for a boy this should not be #17 on the bad name list for boys it should be that in the good list for boys names
Laugh out loud my little brothers name is garrett
Em... Bla bla bla... It made me puke

19Braydon
Looks like someone spelled Brandon wrong
Awful, tacky & sounds made up. Trashy name, yuck!

20Elmo
Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.
I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...
I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names

21Guy
Who would name their kid guy it is just like saying hi I am a random guy and I don't have a name yay
My brother had a book, and there was a little black girl (no racism here) that was maybe 3 years old and was named "Guy."

username34

It should not be a name
[Newest]Imagine a baby be called guy like its strange

22Kevin
Kevin isn't a bad game at all.
I have a church minster named kevin and he is a wonderful guy he is the kids minster and I love it when he preaches I think
Kevin is not a bad name it should be on the best names ever so I think it is great name
[Newest]Kevin from home alone!

23Eli
What's wrong with Eli. I have a friend named that. I think it's a good name
I think that this name sould be taken off the list. I have a friend at school named Eli. He's cute maybe even hot and kids are friends with him. Whoever made this list did not do very good-my opinion
I know someone who named there son Eli Richard.
[Newest]My brothers middle name is Eli

ivymae1


24Ashley
Thus is my friends name and he's a boy
This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name...

Pikachulover1

It's actually a boy name but it sounds better on a girl.

25Norbert
That's Hagrid's dragon's name in Harry Potter! Every time someone says, "Hi, I'm Norbert! " I think he's a dragon!
It makes me think of sherbert...I don't know why...I hope everyone who reads this has a good day or has had a good day
My parents always joke that they're were gonna name me this- I'm a girl. And I think Eli's a nice name along with others on this list. By Norbert, just no.
[newest]
If f I was named norbert id be mad

26Cayden
What's wrong with Ryan. Good Irish strong handsome name
Names like these instantly make you think that person is a wimp. I hate this name more then all those stupid suburb white kid names (Cody, Justin, Ryan, etc)

27Felix
What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.
This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).

28Jayden
That's my name whoever put it on the list will get a tombstone... Bilive that.

WWEfanJayden

That's my name. It's awesome

JaysTop10List

Just the very worst name ever. seriously I hate every guy named jayden okay

29Ivan
That's my name... And I hate it!
That's my dog's name

30Ashton
Ashton Kutcher. Enough said.
But ashton irwin is perf so bye
This is my son's name. I don't think there is anything wrong with the name.
[Newest]Ashton irwin is my bae


31Tucker
That's my name everyone likes it... O well

Probably because its easy to replace the T with an F
Well, this name is not bad at all. But if you have watched Fullmetal Alchemist and saw Shoe Tucker, you'd probably know why this was added.

Kiteretsunu

It sounds so much like it could be the same guy named stifler :/

32Wilburforce
Because will was just too mainstream
I have no words
Why would you call your son Wilburforse? It's like a team of pigs from that book my class read in second grade.

Garythesnail


33Beau
I love this name because it has a really unique spelling and.. Of course, beau brooks
Hot name though like beau brooks man
Beau means beautiful in French, and this is a beautiful name

34Hayley
Who in the world putted this here! This is a girl's name no boy name! What stupid idiots are out there I saw a girl's name on this list more than once. Hayley is a pretty girl's name whoever putted a girl's name on this list is gettin TORTURED! I MEAN IT!

35Beavis
What would you name your other child Butt-head
Ok that's just dumb

36Bernard
There is a reason why I hate my parents - they called me Bernard. Everyone mocks me because of it and they make fun of me. They say that my name is the worst and I totally agree.
My "Friend" is Bernard. He's Strange so maybe that has something to do with his name.
This is a species of dog! Imagine if they are a vegetarian!
[Newest]I think of a dog

37Mustafa
Um... The parents must have really liked lion king
What kind of name is this!?!?
Insanity Arabic?
This sounds so odd for a name. It sounds funny too. It's not even a little close to a boys name.

alecola90

What the heck some of the names on this list are really really damaged who would name their kid dick if they did they would be really really really stupid
[Newest]Nothing is wrong with this name I love it

38Tred
Why not call him tyre?
Sounds like someone who would dip Pringles in "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. "
A guy with that name probably has some crazy nickname like Ham Steak.
[Newest]Sounds like an accountant's name.

39Dustin
Your mum can tell you what to do and call your name... Have dun dusting for the rest of your life (only works if your mum doesn't pronounce g's
That's my cousins name though and he's cool af

40Adolf
This name should be number 2, right after Satan.
After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.
I wonder How many people do actually realize that big brand Adidas comes from the name Adolf Dassler who started his shoe business after WW1 then Rudolf Dassler joined him but another war divided brothers and Rudolf left then founded Puma :)))) Name of brand Adidas was created by Adolf after his brother left the company.
[Newest]I'm surprised this isn't higher, like Satan or Lucifer

41Colton
I like the name personally
Cool name in my opinion
My cosin name meanie

42Tristan
haha wow this is my name... but I'm a girl.

MrsBrightside

Wow my name is Tristan and I'm voting for this to be off not on so ha :I I love my name its because I'm and Irish kid and Tristan is and Irish name
Don't know what's wrong with it...
[Newest]I'm with the person who posted this. this name sucks

43Nigel
But Nigel is a smashing name.
I'm NIGEL AND I'm DUMB

44Wayne
The name Wayne is associated with serial killers, there are more violent offenders with the name Wayne.
Bat man and his son, Lil Wayne etc...

JaysTop10List

Wayne Gretzky was in one fight in his 20 year career
[Newest]Please do not offend bruce

45Rivers
What the hell? You named your kid after a body of water?

"Your so fat your mother should have named you ocean
Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of Weezer

46Todd
Yes! I love that routine. Todd isn't the worst name on this planet, but it's not exactly what I want to name my son. Eli, Cayden, Ian, and Garret aren't bad names though. But George also questioned the fact that names like Bobby, Tommy, Jacky, Johnny, and Phil aren't as popular as they were when he was a child ( the 1940's).
My name is todd... Noo
Eww I hate this kidnamed todd

47Colin
There's a guy in my class named Colin! Gonna try and keep my mouth shut wish me luck we're pretty tight and honest! :O

48Keith
Ha! I have a friend called Keith and he has a big beard! It sounds like the name of a hairy man! Lolz!
Family Guy sent me here!

Graham

Its just one of those names that make you feel funny when you say it.
[Newest]Hasn't anybody heard of Keith Urban? Search him up!

49Gaylon
Made up crap, you are pathetic if you name your son this
I know at least one older Gaylon. It's not made up. And it isn't appropriate for boys nowadays. I saw someone name their son Gaylon on T.V. (modern) and I made a face.

50B.J.
Laugh out loud! If you know the real meaning, you don't want to name someone that
This name rocks and the name tristan sucks

51Brianna
What the what? Brianna is a girl name, so whoever names their son this is sick.
Excuse me, but my names Brianna and I'm a girl! That's so insulting to call your son that!
What's wrong with brianna
[Newest]Brianna is a girl name

52Sarah
Yes it is a very bad name for a boy because it means princess in hebrew and it is short for Sallyv

53Shabazz
Stupid people. Shabazz is the historical name of the Father of Black people (Tribe of Shabazz) that currently live in some parts of Africa and the western hemisphere. 50, 000 years ago he left Arabia for Africa and started a new civilization there. This is a real name. Too bad people only learn history through the eyes of white supremacy. You should study before you speak.
Lets say that shabazz is a real name it would still be in the top fifty worst names ever I mean seriously who would do that their just putting a fake name!
Say, what?! Seriously? Oh boy, someone is looking for attention by giving their kid a ridiculous name.
[Newest]That's probably from The Boondocks because that's where I first heard it from

YouShallEatPoopy


54Rudolfo
Oh, wow. Naming your kid after a Christmas mascot.

Garythesnail


55Eugene
That's the name from mr crabs
Rename yourself Flin Rider... No wonder the Eugene in 'Tangled' hated his name... I know a girl named Eugene anyway...
Every. Guy I know with Eugene in his name turns out to be verbally and mentally abusive

56Colby

57Donkey
Sounds like the parents are big fans of shrek
Who would name they're kid Donkey, for cryin' out loud?! What?! This should be #1 on the list of worst names for a definite
Why?! Just why? Do you want to c him getting called ass? "Hey there ass, you want some cream? " No offense to anyone with this name...

58Ethan
Ethan is an adorable name in my opinion.
I totally disagree with this!
Ethan is the absolute best name ever!
[Newest]I have never heard of an Ethan who wasn't a jerk.

59Mortimer
Not cool. Not cool, people, stop doing this to your kids. It is not fair. And society is not civilized enough to accept it.

60Vincent
This is a weird name
I know an annoying kid and Vincent and Vinny for short
Vincent is an amazing name I had a crush on him but then he moved away. :(

61Jamie
Jamie is a good name
Damn you that's my brothers name who put this on the list!
This is the worst name in the world no person in the world should be called it it is so stupid.

Who would name there child jamie
[Newest]I'm a Jamie and I want to be known as someone who has the worlds worst first name

62Tom
Tom? And what would you name your other boy? Jerry?

Epicsauce45

Tom is a name for a guy with a massive head and small feet

63Head
Seriously, nobody has said anything about this yet?
Hahhaha who ever named the kid that sucks!
Hey guess what? I have a head!
[newest]
What a rubbish name and if you had yr next child name him or her pancreas or a liver

64Sami
I love that name so so so so so so so so so so so much that is also my name and I love it
That's my dogs name

65Brent
Look out everyone, here come Brent.

66Lorenzo

67Spencer
It reminds me of a Pez De-Spencer! Get it de-SPENCER! I'm Hilarious!
This is my name and it is the best name ever
I have a niece named Spencer!

68Jose
I like the name Jose my brother in laws called that.

69Cole
Cole is my favourite name ever.
This is a great name

70Manfred
Anyone who calls their son this obviously wants him to be manly when he grows up, but what if he isn't? Manny and Fred are awful nicknames. And what if he ends up as a cross dresser?
I knew a guy named manfred tiddeman. And guess what? He was an ass man. My homeless friend pig dick perry always used to tell me " Stain, you can never trust a man named Manfred
Anyone who names their son this obviously has no idea he might turn out to be a crossdresser one day! It's like they're trying hard to make him super masculine.
[Newest]Manfred? What is this, victorian age england?

71Nicole
Laugh out loud there are guys with female names like this

ronluna

I'm a girl and my name is Nicole, never heard of a guy named this...
Its enough that this is already a name... I mean come on?! WHO WOULD NAME THEIR MALE KID NICOLE?! THEY MUST BE DRUGED UP PARENTS!?

gumballgal123


72Justin
Justin Bieber we all hate him!
I used to like this name until that idiot Justin Bieber came along
Justin Beiber is annoying
[Newest]Justin? I have no problems with this OH yeah, Bieber.

Garythesnail


73Minecraft
First of all, this game sucks... BUT WHERE DO YOU GET OFF NAMING YOUR OWN CHILD THIS!?!?! Anyone that names their child this has to be a complete loser that was lucky to find a companion in the first place then they go and ruin their child's life by naming him after this overrated piece of crap you call a fun time on your pc... thank you for reading and remember to stay away from anyone that offers you "candy" because in reality, that is slang for cocaine
Next name should be notch and Minecraft sounds like some one drilled a hole in your head and crafted your mind
That is the name of an online game.

74Brady
That's my name your name is worse
Just sounds like a fat stuck up buy
I love the name Brady cause that is my name and I am better the my frenimy Vincent or Vinny for short

75Lance
My name is Lance and personally I think it's a nice name and not a lot of people are named Lance which is good
This is the lance vance dance, lance no chance, no finance no romance. Funny name. Really a funny name. Don't like mine, too.

76Walker
That's an awful name laugh out loud

77Evan
I don't think this is a bad name. What is wrong with it? I mean seriously I guess I', a little biased because I know people with this name, so it makes me like it more. I'm naming my kid Evan.
I love this name, it's my sons name. It's these best in the world.
I actually really like this name it's my brothers name

78Derf
What the hell? This is just... Wrong
It's just fred backwards
Derf is a made up number from I Carly.

79Willard
Had a mean teacher named ms. Willard!

80Henry
Who could say that Henry is an adorable there have bin a lot of kings named Henry my name is Henry and Iam a black belt
Henry is an awesome name! Classic and simple. Better than Laqueesha, which sounds like a slang term for regurgitating.
Henry is the worst possible name ever though up by man

81Nevin
Sounds like kevin with an N.

82Ralf
Best name ever! I just Ralf'd in my garbage can when I read it.

83Paul
Paul is a biblical name. He wrote most of the New Testament and died a martyr. It'd be worst to call your kid Saul, because that was Paul's name when he was a douchebag. He changed it when he became a Christian.
My name is pau. stop bullying
Sounds like animal foot

84Party
Hey Party! Do you want to go to the party?
This name made me laugh... it sounds like Pinkie Pies child's name...

85Oliver
I like this name... It's my brothers name and he's alright sometimes!
Dude... Best name ever! My aunt had an exchange student with that name from Germany, I think. He was awesomely awesome. so swag and Oliver. Ah lee ver is how you pronounce it according to my bro.

86David
Hey this is my name
David is the best name ever!
David is the best name ever

87Jacob
Jacob is a great name
What the heck are you guys talking' about! Jacob is an awesome name! :(
This is my name. It's a name from the bible at least I don't have a name like gary
[Newest]I think of twilight. Sorry Jacob's of the world

88Shrek
You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy
Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume
Shrek is love. Shrek is life 😘

89Gary
Gary is a nice name!
Gary and Ib? Really?
Gary isn't a bad name. It could be Bruce, or Toby, you know.
[Newest]This is my grandpa's name and he's really nice!


90Va
Sounds like part of an ancient chant.

username34


91King
I don't know, it kind of has a nice ring to it.
Whatthe heck is that name?!

92Alex
This is my name you can all screw yourselves, plus haven't you heard of a great warrior named Alex the Great?
Alex isn't to bad, but Alexander is terrible, my sister in law named her baby Alexander, and it just does not suit an 8 month old baby, and she will not have it shortened either! She said if anyone trys to shorten it, it will be Zander not Alex-I think that's even worse laugh out loud
My sister's name is Alex. Glad she's not a guy.

93Marmaduke
Ok your son isn't a dog from a cartoon. That's just child abuse...
Who would name their kid that?
This is awful! I can't imagine naming a kid after a dog!

94Aggin

95Austin
My name is Austin... I am very involved in charity work. Tutor all my friends. And sacraficed both of my legs to save an infant girl from a falling lifegaurd tower D:
That is my boy friends name and it is good
I have a friend named Austin. This is a cool name.

Randomsoldier23

[newest]
Austin is a GREAT name!

96Geoffrey
Why can't people just spell it jeffrey. [although that's still a horrid name] why get so complicated?
It's pronounced Jeffrey. my dance teacher spells it weird like that
Get lost. This is a sick name. And if you spell it with a "J" you're doing it wrong. Looks silly

97Brett
I don't see what is wrong with this name. I find it rather cute in its own way. It's not at the top of my list for what I would name my child, but I know many people named Brett. I find this to be a fine name. Brett should be lower on the list.
One of my bros is named Brett I love the name and is there really a bad name? People can name their kids what the hell the want I mean my names Kailey and some people think that's a bad name.

98Chip
It smells like potato

99Pinocchio
If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

100Clark
Isn't that kind of like a last name, but without the e at the end?

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This list was created 6 years, 193 days ago and has been voted on over 3,000 times. This top ten list contains 534 items, has been remixed 13 times.

Updated Thursday, October 23, 2014


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