Worst First Names for a Boy

Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.

The Top Ten

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too.


HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick


Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny.


[Newest]It's the most annoying name ever! Good bless everyone who's name is Dick. :(

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.
I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed
Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name
[Newest]Really, Gaylord. Sometimes I wonder about this generation...

Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?
I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.
Because satan is bad
[Newest]Your naming your kid after the DEVIL! I mean that's just sad!

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though.


This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon.


This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.
[Newest]I think he loves cannons

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...
I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels
My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.
[Newest]It's the most random name ever'

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!
That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names
I make this noise when I am confused. "Ib! Ib! "


[Newest]Who would name kids Ib

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.
Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you
Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!
[Newest]Although its on the worst boys name I like the name angus and cannon

Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?
Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."
Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name
[Newest]That's a ghetto girl's name but not for a boy!

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.
Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!
If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended
What are you talking about the meaning of the name Ian is "god is forgiving" not "it"! So Ian is a good name to have!
[Newest]I think it is so hot

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "
Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?
I would hate to be named Seaman.
[Newest]That sounds like semen, animal semen!

The Contenders

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!
It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"
Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid
[Newest]That name is worse than liquid cabbage

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer
Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you


When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought
Wolfgang is a cool name example : Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
[Newest]Ugh what a stupid gangster name!

My father almost named me this!


Best name ever, a-hole.
It sounds like Zayn and I like it too much!

No I like that name for a guy okay and of you don't that's fine but that ne is grate
Only Girls Are Named Dakota For Crying Out Loud! I Mean come on!
My name is Dakota and I think that it's pretty cool. I'm a girl though so I can't say that I've been bullied for being called Dakota. I just don't like the nickname Kota, unless we're talking about Brother Bear!

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair
Skyler, I am the one who knocks!
It seem his parents cannot spell. As in Fillup.

Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!
Its a great name laugh out loud ill call my dad this :]
Who would name their kid weegee?
A immature mother!!



[Newest]How would name a kid Weegee it sounds like wedgie

I hate to be mean, but who that isn't high on some kind of narcotic would name their kid Blanket?


Give me back my blanket!
I want my blanket!

haha wow this is my name... but I'm a girl.


Wow my name is Tristan and I'm voting for this to be off not on so ha :I I love my name its because I'm and Irish kid and Tristan is and Irish name
Don't know what's wrong with it...
[Newest]This name reminds me of a retard I know on Xbox bye

This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name...


Thus is my friends name and he's a boy
It's actually a boy name but it sounds better on a girl.

If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.
Being named after a fictional character... Sad


I don't think this is a very bad name for a boy its actually a very good name for a boy this should not be #17 on the bad name list for boys it should be that in the good list for boys names
Wow he must be hot if girls see him in the hall way... They will run towards him and give him lap dances or kiss him, hug him.
Laugh out loud my little brothers name is garrett

There's a kid at the school I teach at named Duncan. Students would tease him and call him Duncan Donuts, until he said that his last name was Heinz. That's right, like Duncan Hines cake mix.
Such a horrible name for a nice kid, and even worse with that last name...
Their name is Duncan because their parents had sex in the Duncan donuts washrooms.
It sound so much like dumb can so dumb people are it a rubbish name if this was my name I would ask to change my birth certificate
[Newest]Anyone know duncan from total drama?

It smells like potato
Chip the chipmunk! Where's Dale?
Make it a barbecue chip

I don't see anything wrong with this name. It's a lot better than other names on this list. I mean, who would wanna name their kid Satan?
Looks like someone spelled Brandon wrong
It's a cute name ill name my son braydon

Who would name their kid guy it is just like saying hi I am a random guy and I don't have a name yay
My brother had a book, and there was a little black girl (no racism here) that was maybe 3 years old and was named "Guy."


It should not be a name
[Newest]If he's name isn't Guy, I wouldn't know that he is a guy,

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.
I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...
I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names
[Newest]La la la la la la la la Elmo's World!

Who in the world would name there Dhruv?

What's wrong with Eli. I have a friend named that. I think it's a good name
There's nothing wrong with the name Eli. It's a great name and it totally doesn't even go in the same category as the other names on this list.
I think that this name sould be taken off the list. I have a friend at school named Eli. He's cute maybe even hot and kids are friends with him. Whoever made this list did not do very good-my opinion
I know someone who named there son Eli Richard.
[Newest]That's my teachers husbands name. Reminds me of an elephant...

That's Hagrid's dragon's name in Harry Potter! Every time someone says, "Hi, I'm Norbert! " I think he's a dragon!
"When Norbit was just a little boy, he used to run around the place naked, always naked. Then, one day Norbit was running around and a poisonous snake leaped up and bite Norbit right on ass; very close to hole! And so I go and ckeck boy's pulse, he's still alive, he's still alive. So, I start to think, 'do I suck poison out of Norbit's ass? Or, do I let him die? I do the most responsible thing... I say 'HELL TO THE NO, NORBIT IS OUT OF HERE, IT IS MLONG TIME IN HELL BEFORE WONG SUCK POISON OUT OF ANOTHER MAN'S ASS" The End
It makes me think of sherbert...I don't know why...I hope everyone who reads this has a good day or has had a good day
[Newest]This is hilarious this a name of a movie starring Eddie Murphy! 😹

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy
Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume
Shrek is love. Shrek is life 😘
[Newest]God! I like Shrek but not as a name.

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.
This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).
Fix it Felix! Reminds me of wreck it Ralph. And plumbers.
[Newest]I love this name actually.

Don't ever name your kids endangered animals. Its just wrong.
And maybe he'll have a pet bird named Zee.


First of all, this game sucks... BUT WHERE DO YOU GET OFF NAMING YOUR OWN CHILD THIS!?!?! Anyone that names their child this has to be a complete loser that was lucky to find a companion in the first place then they go and ruin their child's life by naming him after this overrated piece of crap you call a fun time on your pc... thank you for reading and remember to stay away from anyone that offers you "candy" because in reality, that is slang for cocaine
Next name should be notch and Minecraft sounds like some one drilled a hole in your head and crafted your mind
Please stop forcing your opinions on others they don't need this they might get enough at home.
[Newest]Isn't it a game?

Made up crap, you are pathetic if you name your son this

That's my name. It's awesome


That's my name whoever put it on the list will get a tombstone... Bilive that.


It's a cool name
[Newest]You suck this is an awesome name

That's my name everyone likes it... O well

Probably because its easy to replace the T with an F
Well, this name is not bad at all. But if you have watched Fullmetal Alchemist and saw Shoe Tucker, you'd probably know why this was added.


Theirs this guy in my class named John but he calls himself tucker.


That's my name... And I hate it!
That's my dog's name
Ivan is actual ya Russian traditional name!

Ashton Kutcher. Enough said.
This is my son's name. I don't think there is anything wrong with the name.
Ashton Irwin? I heard that name somewhere and he text me somehow


[Newest]My sister has a friend that is a GIRL named that.


I love this name because it has a really unique spelling and.. Of course, beau brooks
Hot name though like beau brooks man
Beau means beautiful in French, and this is a beautiful name

Because will was just too mainstream
I have no words

What would you name your other child Butt-head

Um... The parents must have really liked lion king
What the heck some of the names on this list are really really damaged who would name their kid dick if they did they would be really really really stupid
What kind of name is this!?!?
Insanity Arabic?
This sounds so odd for a name. It sounds funny too. It's not even a little close to a boys name.


[Newest]It is a Turkish name!? And people use this name in Turkey. I think its good!

There is a reason why I hate my parents - they called me Bernard. Everyone mocks me because of it and they make fun of me. They say that my name is the worst and I totally agree.
My "Friend" is Bernard. He's Strange so maybe that has something to do with his name.
This is a species of dog! Imagine if they are a vegetarian!
[Newest]I think of a dog

Who in the world putted this here! This is a girl's name no boy name! What stupid idiots are out there I saw a girl's name on this list more than once. Hayley is a pretty girl's name whoever putted a girl's name on this list is gettin TORTURED! I MEAN IT!
Sounds like Halley, which is girl that I used to like

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.
After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.
I wonder How many people do actually realize that big brand Adidas comes from the name Adolf Dassler who started his shoe business after WW1 then Rudolf Dassler joined him but another war divided brothers and Rudolf left then founded Puma :)))) Name of brand Adidas was created by Adolf after his brother left the company.
[Newest]It reminds me of Adolf Hitler..

It is pronounced ladasha! I think his parents are to lazy to just put ladasha instead of la-a on his birth certificate!
I'm laughing my ass off right now
Fa la la la la la la la!

I like the name personally
Cool name in my opinion
Colton is my teachers sons name! Along with her husband, Eli. There both handsome and nice.

Why not call him tyre?
Sounds like someone who would dip Pringles in "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. "
A guy with that name probably has some crazy nickname like Ham Steak.
[Newest]Sounds like an accountant's name.

Number 1 best name

It's just yuck. It's so close to the quite acceptable Justin! Why the D? My ex was Dustin- I used to mumble the name when telling others about him.
Your mum can tell you what to do and call your name... Have dun dusting for the rest of your life (only works if your mum doesn't pronounce g's
First off I have a cousin named dustin and second its mom not mum
[Newest]It reminds me of dust in the wind.

There's a guy in my class named Colin! Gonna try and keep my mouth shut wish me luck we're pretty tight and honest! :O
This is a good name not a bad one

Wayne Gretzky was in one fight in his 20 year career
Bat man and his son, Lil Wayne etc...


The name Wayne is associated with serial killers, there are more violent offenders with the name Wayne.
[Newest]Please do not offend bruce

What the hell? You named your kid after a body of water?

"Your so fat your mother should have named you ocean
Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of Weezer
[Newest]I like the name Rivers. It's like River Song from Doctor Who.

Stupid people. Shabazz is the historical name of the Father of Black people (Tribe of Shabazz) that currently live in some parts of Africa and the western hemisphere. 50, 000 years ago he left Arabia for Africa and started a new civilization there. This is a real name. Too bad people only learn history through the eyes of white supremacy. You should study before you speak.
Lets say that shabazz is a real name it would still be in the top fifty worst names ever I mean seriously who would do that their just putting a fake name!
Say, what?! Seriously? Oh boy, someone is looking for attention by giving their kid a ridiculous name.
[Newest]I'm not sure this is a real name


But Nigel is a smashing name.

Yes! I love that routine. Todd isn't the worst name on this planet, but it's not exactly what I want to name my son. Eli, Cayden, Ian, and Garret aren't bad names though. But George also questioned the fact that names like Bobby, Tommy, Jacky, Johnny, and Phil aren't as popular as they were when he was a child ( the 1940's).
Worst boring-est name, like poo
Lol, tod means death in German

Laugh out loud! If you know the real meaning, you don't want to name someone that
This name rocks and the name tristan sucks
Best name in the world

What the what? Brianna is a girl name, so whoever names their son this is sick.
Excuse me, but my names Brianna and I'm a girl! That's so insulting to call your son that!
What's wrong with brianna
[Newest]That's a girl name

Ethan is an adorable name in my opinion.
I totally disagree with this!
Ethan is the absolute best name ever!
[Newest]What's wrong with Ethan?

Yes it is a very bad name for a boy because it means princess in hebrew and it is short for Sallyv
This is my name and I'm a girl
It's a girl's name

That's the name from mr crabs
Rename yourself Flin Rider... No wonder the Eugene in 'Tangled' hated his name... I know a girl named Eugene anyway...
Every. Guy I know with Eugene in his name turns out to be verbally and mentally abusive

Oh, wow. Naming your kid after a Christmas mascot.


Just add a jack to it and bam you named you son after a type of cheese. COLBY JACK.
That's brother's name and that is insulting, take this off!
Is my best friends sisters name. Yeah, SISTER.

Not cool. Not cool, people, stop doing this to your kids. It is not fair. And society is not civilized enough to accept it.
A school name near my home

Sounds like the parents are big fans of shrek
Who would name they're kid Donkey, for cryin' out loud?! What?! This should be #1 on the list of worst names for a definite
Weird name who would call there kid donkey looks like they are a BIG fan of shrek

Tom? And what would you name your other boy? Jerry?


Tom is so boring. Just like jack. Snore!
Tom is a name for a guy with a massive head and small feet

This is a weird name
I know an annoying kid and Vincent and Vinny for short
Vincent is an amazing name I had a crush on him but then he moved away. :(

Seriously, nobody has said anything about this yet?
Hahhaha who ever named the kid that sucks!
Hey guess what? I have a head!
[Newest]It's a crap name someone can get bullied of that name

Jamie is a good name
Damn you that's my brothers name who put this on the list!
This is the worst name in the world no person in the world should be called it it is so stupid.

Who would name there child jamie
[Newest]I have a cousin named this and a friend named this

It reminds me of a Pez De-Spencer! Get it de-SPENCER! I'm Hilarious!
This is my name and it is the best name ever
I have a niece named Spencer!
[Newest]This isn't a bad name at all, what are you on

I like the name Jose my brother in laws called that.

Cole is my favourite name ever.
Cole is an epic name what's wrong with you


Cole is a cute name. It's mine...

Hey! Peyton is a kick ass name! I have only ever met amazing people named Peyton. This list is a little B. S anyways. Zane and Ian are both cool names and they are really high on this list. So poo you guys!
Poo you guys? That is hilariously bad, it actually ruins the comment?


my lil bros name is peyton i feel sorry for them and hate him at the same time. terrible name for girls too.

Look out everyone, here come Brent.
From experience, anyone named Brent sucks at Fantasy sports and March Madness.

I love that name so so so so so so so so so so so much that is also my name and I love it
That's my dogs name
Who ever put this name on this list on the dumbest list

That's my name your name is worse
Just sounds like a fat stuck up buy
Brady is for fatties

I don't think this is a bad name. What is wrong with it? I mean seriously I guess I', a little biased because I know people with this name, so it makes me like it more. I'm naming my kid Evan.
I love this name, it's my sons name. It's these best in the world.
This name is really really really really cool. My best friends little brother is has this name.

One of the coolest names ever my brother has that name

My name is Lance and personally I think it's a nice name and not a lot of people are named Lance which is good
This is the lance vance dance, lance no chance, no finance no romance. Funny name. Really a funny name. Don't like mine, too.
Hey... It's Tyler. Yeah I'm actually from the douchiest name list. Just squeezing myself in here... Yeeeaahhh...

Anyone who calls their son this obviously wants him to be manly when he grows up, but what if he isn't? Manny and Fred are awful nicknames. And what if he ends up as a cross dresser?
Anyone who names their son this obviously has no idea he might turn out to be a crossdresser one day! It's like they're trying hard to make him super masculine.
I knew a guy named manfred tiddeman. And guess what? He was an ass man. My homeless friend pig dick perry always used to tell me " Stain, you can never trust a man named Manfred
[Newest]Manfred? What is this, victorian age england?



I like this name... It's my brothers name and he's alright sometimes!
Dude... Best name ever! My aunt had an exchange student with that name from Germany, I think. He was awesomely awesome. so swag and Oliver. Ah lee ver is how you pronounce it according to my bro.

What the hell? This is just... Wrong
It's just fred backwards
Derf is a made up number from I Carly.
[Newest]Hi, my name is Derf, you can punch me now!

Laugh out loud there are guys with female names like this


I'm a girl and my name is Nicole, never heard of a guy named this...

My families last name
That's an awful name laugh out loud
I legit know people with this name.

Had a mean teacher named ms. Willard!

Who could say that Henry is an adorable there have bin a lot of kings named Henry my name is Henry and Iam a black belt
Henry is awful name to give a child the nickname for henry is hank that's terrible
Henry is an awesome name! Classic and simple. Better than Laqueesha, which sounds like a slang term for regurgitating.

So you pooped in your poop can.
Best name ever! I just Ralf'd in my garbage can when I read it.

Ok your son isn't a dog from a cartoon. That's just child abuse...
This is awful! I can't imagine naming a kid after a dog!
Who would name their kid that?
[Newest]The duke of marmalade

Hey this is my name
David is the best name ever!
David is the best name ever
[Newest]David is my favorite guy's name. That was my Grandpa's name.

This is my name you can all screw yourselves, plus haven't you heard of a great warrior named Alex the Great?
Alex isn't to bad, but Alexander is terrible, my sister in law named her baby Alexander, and it just does not suit an 8 month old baby, and she will not have it shortened either! She said if anyone trys to shorten it, it will be Zander not Alex-I think that's even worse laugh out loud
This is my name. And it's a great name. Personally, this list is offensive to me. There are nice people in the world with these names. So stop judging others and judge yourself.


[Newest]This is the worst name

Sounds like part of an ancient chant.


Sounds like a game boss

My name is Austin... I am very involved in charity work. Tutor all my friends. And sacraficed both of my legs to save an infant girl from a falling lifegaurd tower D:
That is my boy friends name and it is good
I have a friend named Austin. This is a cool name.


[Newest]Austin is a GREAT name!

Isn't that kind of like a last name, but without the e at the end?

I don't see what is wrong with this name. I find it rather cute in its own way. It's not at the top of my list for what I would name my child, but I know many people named Brett. I find this to be a fine name. Brett should be lower on the list.
One of my bros is named Brett I love the name and is there really a bad name? People can name their kids what the hell the want I mean my names Kailey and some people think that's a bad name.

You don't name a boy Shelby. That's my name and it should not be a guy's name just because a guy made a car called the Shelby.

Hey Party! Do you want to go to the party?
This name made me laugh... it sounds like Pinkie Pies child's name...
Reminds me of Party Poison from My Chemical Romance Danger Days

I don't know, it kind of has a nice ring to it.
My friend's name is King.

What's wrong with Ryan. Good Irish strong handsome name
Their is a boy named Cayden in my class and he is crazy and showed his private in front of the whole class.
My brother has a friend named Cayden what is wrong with it nothing

Comments About This List

Featured Lists
Popular Lists
New Lists

Top Remixes of This List






see more...

Posts About This List

List Info

This list was created 7 years, 5 days ago and has been voted on over 4,000 times. This top ten list contains 581 items, has been remixed 16 times.

Updated Saturday, April 18, 2015

List Error Reporting

See an item on this list that's misspelled, duplicated, or doesn't belong? Let us know. Click here to report the error.