Worst First Names for a Boy

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The Top Ten

1
Dick
Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too.

aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick

noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny.

fireinside96

More comments about Dick

2Gaylord
Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.
I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed
Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name
More comments about Gaylord

3Ian
If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended
I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.
How is this name only fourth on the list? Surely it's just the worst name ever!
More comments about Ian

4Satan
Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?
Because satan is bad
I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.
More comments about Satan

5Cannon
Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though.

Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon.

Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.
More comments about Cannon

6Ib
This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!
That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names
BWAHAHAAHA IB? REALLY! I'm a kid and I have my toys say this when they're bored and a guy named this appears and they say not you so funny, Ib is just terrible.
More comments about Ib

7Wolfgang
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer
Sounds like a bad kids'cartoon
Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you

ronluna

More comments about Wolfgang

8Seaman
"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "
Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?
I would hate to be named Seaman.
More comments about Seaman

9Angus
The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.
Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!
Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you
More comments about Angus

10Osama
Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!
It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"
Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid
More comments about Osama

The Contenders

11Laqueesha
Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?
Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name
Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."
More comments about Laqueesha

12Weegee
Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!
Its a great name laugh out loud ill call my dad this :]

13Skyler
It seem his parents cannot spell. As in Fillup.

14Zane
My father almost named me this!

gunsnroses

Best name ever, a-hole.
My brothers friends name is zane laugh out loud
More comments about Zane

15Duncan
There's a kid at the school I teach at named Duncan. Students would tease him and call him Duncan Donuts, until he said that his last name was Heinz. That's right, like Duncan Hines cake mix.
Such a horrible name for a nice kid, and even worse with that last name...
It sound so much like dumb can so dumb people are it a rubbish name if this was my name I would ask to change my birth certificate
Their name is Duncan because their parents had sex in the Duncan donuts washrooms.
More comments about Duncan

16Garrett
I don't think this is a very bad name for a boy its actually a very good name for a boy this should not be #17 on the bad name list for boys it should be that in the good list for boys names
Laugh out loud my little brothers name is garrett
Garett is alright. I have a friend named that.
More comments about Garrett

17Abcde
-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...
I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels
My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.
More comments about Abcde

18Braydon
Looks like someone spelled Brandon wrong
Awful, tacky & sounds made up. Trashy name, yuck!

19Dakota
Only Girls Are Named Dakota For Crying Out Loud! I Mean come on!
No I like that name for a guy okay and of you don't that's fine but that ne is grate
Well you are wrong its a great name your info is so wrong id care if its a state I like something must be wrong with you
More comments about Dakota

20Gary
Gary and Ib? Really?
Gary is a nice name!
Gary isn't a bad name. It could be Bruce, or Toby, you know.
More comments about Gary

21Guy
Who would name their kid guy it is just like saying hi I am a random guy and I don't have a name yay

22Cayden
What's wrong with Ryan. Good Irish strong handsome name
Names like these instantly make you think that person is a wimp. I hate this name more then all those stupid suburb white kid names (Cody, Justin, Ryan, etc)

23Felix
In harry potter liquid luck laugh out loud

24Norbert
That's Hagrid's dragon's name in Harry Potter! Every time someone says, "Hi, I'm Norbert! " I think he's a dragon!
It makes me think of sherbert...I don't know why...I hope everyone who reads this has a good day or has had a good day
My parents always joke that they're were gonna name me this- I'm a girl. And I think Eli's a nice name along with others on this list. By Norbert, just no.
More comments about Norbert

25Eli
What's wrong with Eli. I have a friend named that. I think it's a good name
I think that this name sould be taken off the list. I have a friend at school named Eli. He's cute maybe even hot and kids are friends with him. Whoever made this list did not do very good-my opinion
I know someone who named there son Eli Richard.
More comments about Eli

26Justin
Justin Bieber we all hate him!
I used to like this name until that idiot Justin Bieber came along
Justin Beiber is annoying
More comments about Justin

27Elmo
Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

28Killian
is your child a serial killer?!?!?!?!?!

moose4life19

gee, thanks, thats my name... I'm a girl though...
Excuse me? No this is the coolest name ever! (It's my last name but I would've loved it to be my first name)

29Jayden
Jayden smith a rapper I hope you get rapped some pwople get hurt by these names ye should be ashambed

30Ivan
That's my dog's name
That's my name... And I hate it!

31Ashton
Ashton Kutcher. Enough said.
But ashton irwin is perf so bye

32Beau
I love this name because it has a really unique spelling and.. Of course, beau brooks
Beau Brooks <3 #smexiibeast x

33Beavis
What would you name your other child Butt-head
Ok that's just dumb

34Tucker
That's my name everyone likes it... O well

Probably because its easy to replace the T with an F
Really?!?! Laqueesha why would they name a boy Laquessha isn't that a girls name I mean seriously I fell bad if my friend that was a boy had that name I mean I would try and hold my laughs and giggles because that would be so hilarious!
What's wrong with Tucker? I like that name.

35Bernard
There is a reason why I hate my parents - they called me Bernard. Everyone mocks me because of it and they make fun of me. They say that my name is the worst and I totally agree.
My "Friend" is Bernard. He's Strange so maybe that has something to do with his name.
This is a species of dog! Imagine if they are a vegetarian!
More comments about Bernard

36Mustafa
Um... The parents must have really liked lion king
What kind of name is this!?!?
Insanity Arabic?
This sounds so odd for a name. It sounds funny too. It's not even a little close to a boys name.

alecola90

What the heck some of the names on this list are really really damaged who would name their kid dick if they did they would be really really really stupid
More comments about Mustafa

37Tred
Why not call him tyre?
Sounds like someone who would dip Pringles in "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. "
A guy with that name probably has some crazy nickname like Ham Steak.
More comments about Tred

38Dustin
I love this name

39Donkey
Who would name they're kid Donkey, for cryin' out loud?! What?! This should be #1 on the list of worst names for a definite
Sounds like the parents are big fans of shrek
Why?! Just why? Do you want to c him getting called ass? "Hey there ass, you want some cream? " No offense to anyone with this name...

40Nigel
But Nigel is a smashing name.
I'm NIGEL AND I'm DUMB

41Todd
Yes! I love that routine. Todd isn't the worst name on this planet, but it's not exactly what I want to name my son. Eli, Cayden, Ian, and Garret aren't bad names though. But George also questioned the fact that names like Bobby, Tommy, Jacky, Johnny, and Phil aren't as popular as they were when he was a child ( the 1940's).
As George Carlin said, "I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd, you know it's a goofy *beep* name, OK!? Hi, what's your name? TODD! "

42Wayne
The name Wayne is associated with serial killers, there are more violent offenders with the name Wayne.

43Rivers
What the hell? You named your kid after a body of water?

"Your so fat your mother should have named you ocean

44Colton
My cosin name meanie

45Tristan
haha wow this is my name... but I'm a girl.

MrsBrightside

Wow my name is Tristan and I'm voting for this to be off not on so ha :I I love my name its because I'm and Irish kid and Tristan is and Irish name
Worst name ever! Screams dork.

46Kevin
Kevin isn't a bad game at all.
I have a church minster named kevin and he is a wonderful guy he is the kids minster and I love it when he preaches I think
Kevin is not a bad name it should be on the best names ever so I think it is great name
More comments about Kevin

47Gaylon
Made up crap, you are pathetic if you name your son this
I know at least one older Gaylon. It's not made up. And it isn't appropriate for boys nowadays. I saw someone name their son Gaylon on T.V. (modern) and I made a face.

48Colin
There's a guy in my class named Colin! Gonna try and keep my mouth shut wish me luck we're pretty tight and honest! :O

49Brianna
What the what? Brianna is a girl name, so whoever names their son this is sick.

50B.J.
Laugh out loud! If you know the real meaning, you don't want to name someone that

51Keith
Ha! I have a friend called Keith and he has a big beard! It sounds like the name of a hairy man! Lolz!
Family Guy sent me here!

Graham

Its just one of those names that make you feel funny when you say it.
More comments about Keith

52Eugene
That's the name from mr crabs
Rename yourself Flin Rider... No wonder the Eugene in 'Tangled' hated his name... I know a girl named Eugene anyway...
Hey Eugene SHAKE BUDDY

53Head
Seriously, nobody has said anything about this yet?
Hahhaha who ever named the kid that sucks!

54Vincent
This is a weird name

55Colby

56Mortimer
Not cool. Not cool, people, stop doing this to your kids. It is not fair. And society is not civilized enough to accept it.

57Ethan
Ethan is an adorable name in my opinion.
I totally disagree with this!
Ethan is the absolute best name ever!
More comments about Ethan

58Jamie
Jamie is a good name
Damn you that's my brothers name who put this on the list!
It is the best name ever
More comments about Jamie

59Tom
Tom is a name for a guy with a massive head and small feet
Tom? And what would you name your other boy? Jerry?

Epicsauce45


60Sami
I love that name so so so so so so so so so so so much that is also my name and I love it
That's my dogs name

61Lorenzo

62Party
Hey Party! Do you want to go to the party?

63Brent

64Spencer
It reminds me of a Pez De-Spencer! Get it de-SPENCER! I'm Hilarious!
This is my name and it is the best name ever
I have a niece named Spencer!

65Mason
I'm naming my next son Mason. John-Mason. John after my father and mason because the baby's father is a 7th generation stone mason, so the name has a lot of family meaning. I love it and I don't care what people think
Whoever put this on the list is a jerk I had a friend named mason for 5 years man! 5 YEARS!
Last names should not be first names.
More comments about Mason

66Jose
I like the name Jose my brother in laws called that.

67Adolf
After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.
I wonder How many people do actually realize that big brand Adidas comes from the name Adolf Dassler who started his shoe business after WW1 then Rudolf Dassler joined him but another war divided brothers and Rudolf left then founded Puma :)))) Name of brand Adidas was created by Adolf after his brother left the company.
This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

68Nicole
Laugh out loud there are guys with female names like this

ronluna

I'm a girl and my name is Nicole, never heard of a guy named this...
Its enough that this is already a name... I mean come on?! WHO WOULD NAME THEIR MALE KID NICOLE?! THEY MUST BE DRUGED UP PARENTS!?

gumballgal123


69Minecraft
Ho ho ho howw in the world is his father notch

70Shabazz
Stupid people. Shabazz is the historical name of the Father of Black people (Tribe of Shabazz) that currently live in some parts of Africa and the western hemisphere. 50, 000 years ago he left Arabia for Africa and started a new civilization there. This is a real name. Too bad people only learn history through the eyes of white supremacy. You should study before you speak.
Lets say that shabazz is a real name it would still be in the top fifty worst names ever I mean seriously who would do that their just putting a fake name!
Say, what?! Seriously? Oh boy, someone is looking for attention by giving their kid a ridiculous name.
More comments about Shabazz

71Manfred
Anyone who calls their son this obviously wants him to be manly when he grows up, but what if he isn't? Manny and Fred are awful nicknames. And what if he ends up as a cross dresser?
I knew a guy named manfred tiddeman. And guess what? He was an ass man. My homeless friend pig dick perry always used to tell me " Stain, you can never trust a man named Manfred
Anyone who names their son this obviously has no idea he might turn out to be a crossdresser one day! It's like they're trying hard to make him super masculine.
More comments about Manfred

72Walker

73Cole
Cole is my favourite name ever.

74Lance
This is the lance vance dance, lance no chance, no finance no romance. Funny name. Really a funny name. Don't like mine, too.
My name is Lance and personally I think it's a nice name and not a lot of people are named Lance which is good

75Evan
I don't think this is a bad name. What is wrong with it? I mean seriously I guess I', a little biased because I know people with this name, so it makes me like it more. I'm naming my kid Evan.
I love this name, it's my sons name. It's these best in the world.

76Paul
Paul is a biblical name. He wrote most of the New Testament and died a martyr. It'd be worst to call your kid Saul, because that was Paul's name when he was a douchebag. He changed it when he became a Christian.
Sounds like animal foot
My name is pau. stop bullying

77Brady
Just sounds like a fat stuck up buy
That's my name your name is worse

78Willard
Had a mean teacher named ms. Willard!

79Henry
Who could say that Henry is an adorable there have bin a lot of kings named Henry my name is Henry and Iam a black belt
Henry is the worst possible name ever though up by man

80Nevin

81Ralf

82Derf
What the hell? This is just... Wrong
It's just fred backwards

83Shrek
You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy
Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

84Aggin

85Alex
This is my name you can all screw yourselves, plus haven't you heard of a great warrior named Alex the Great?
Alex isn't to bad, but Alexander is terrible, my sister in law named her baby Alexander, and it just does not suit an 8 month old baby, and she will not have it shortened either! She said if anyone trys to shorten it, it will be Zander not Alex-I think that's even worse laugh out loud
My sister's name is Alex. Glad she's not a guy.
More comments about Alex

86Oliver
I like this name... It's my brothers name and he's alright sometimes!
Dude... Best name ever! My aunt had an exchange student with that name from Germany, I think. He was awesomely awesome. so swag and Oliver. Ah lee ver is how you pronounce it according to my bro.

87Marmaduke
Ok your son isn't a dog from a cartoon. That's just child abuse...
Who would name their kid that?
This is awful! I can't imagine naming a kid after a dog!

88Jacob
Jacob is a great name
What the heck are you guys talking' about! Jacob is an awesome name! :(
This is my name. It's a name from the bible at least I don't have a name like gary
More comments about Jacob

89Austin
My name is Austin... I am very involved in charity work. Tutor all my friends. And sacraficed both of my legs to save an infant girl from a falling lifegaurd tower D:
That is my boy friends name and it is good
This name makes my life dry up like a prune. Die in a hole Austin

90King

91Brett
I don't see what is wrong with this name. I find it rather cute in its own way. It's not at the top of my list for what I would name my child, but I know many people named Brett. I find this to be a fine name. Brett should be lower on the list.
One of my bros is named Brett I love the name and is there really a bad name? People can name their kids what the hell the want I mean my names Kailey and some people think that's a bad name.

92Chip
It smells like potato

93Ashley
This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name...

Pikachulover1

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy
Laugh out loud! Whoever put this name on a BOY'S thingy you are AWESOME! And I think its Pikachulover1 but I don't know
More comments about Ashley

94Sarah
Yes it is a very bad name for a boy because it means princess in hebrew and it is short for Sallyv

95Pinocchio
If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

96Wilburforce
Because will was just too mainstream
I have no words

97David
Hey this is my name
Laugh out loud your a dumbass

98Clark

99Geoffrey
Why can't people just spell it jeffrey. [although that's still a horrid name] why get so complicated?
G-aw-free what a ugly name
This name sucks dick

100Robert
A great and strong name!
I am called robert so the person who made this list can kiss my ass
This is a fcking name

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This list was created 6 years, 6 days ago and has been voted on over 3,000 times. This top ten list contains 415 items, has been remixed 9 times.

Updated Saturday, April 19, 2014


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