Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top TenXW


Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

Who invented this name anyways? - GriffinDoge

V120 Comments

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

Absolutely there is one actor that is named of that... Dick Van Dyke. I put the picture already. - LanceGamiao

V136 Comments

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

In my opinion, the name Satan is MUCH worse than Gaylord. At least Gaylord was at once considered normal and is only considered "abnormal" because of how messed up people are today.

Who in their right mind would name their child a devil? That is preposterous!

Worst name I see on this list because even Dick is better than this!

This is so much worse than Gaylord honestly if my husband was like let's name our kid satan I would divorce him on the spot

V74 Comments

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

Some people are just so stupid

V26 Comments

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

Lot better than some names I know...

V19 Comments

Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!

If you see Weegee, you will turn into Weegee anyway. Might as well name your kid something different before it inevitably happens.

Hi I am a eleven year old girl and Weegee? Really? You can see the word Wee in it. Well at least you can't see the word poo in it.+_+

Lol. You'd name your kid Weegee?! Trying to be like Super Mario Bros, eh? - Powerfulgirl10

V20 Comments

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!

This is a name for a fat 50 year old american

V30 Comments

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

"Look here comes semen" no offense but kids might take this name the wrong way

There is a Dreamcast game called Seaman.

V13 Comments

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

How is this name only fourth on the list? Surely it's just the worst name ever!

I know a douche bag named Ian - never liked him.

V63 Comments

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names

Who would name their kid after a Sesame Street character? - Powerfulgirl10

V22 Comments

The Newcomers

?ZeDongV1 Comment

Check Wikipedia. They say Stalin can be a first name. - GriffinDoge

The Contenders


This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

Really? Ib? Is that it? - Powerfulgirl10

V24 Comments

Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?

There's always trolls. But it would suck to be a dude with some weird name like this. - Merilille

Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."

Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name

What a ghetto name. - Music_Lover123

V29 Comments

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Oh sweet jesus. If you slap a name like that on your kid and think that's okay you're effing wrong because when the kid gets older and attends middle or high school everyone will hate him because of that name you put on him without thinking about how the kid would feel

Oh no. The terrorist is back. Let's blow him up. - Powerfulgirl10

V11 Comments

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

Wolfgang is a cool name example : Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

That name doesn't sound too bad. - Powerfulgirl10

V23 Comments

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Its an okay name if you're the ashley man from gone with the wind. Some people might tease a guy with a feminine sounding name

Ashley isn't that bad of a name for a guy actually. Any Evil Dead fans will know that the main character is Ashley J. WIlliams, a badass dude. - NuMetalManiak

My sister's name is Ashley, and I happen to think it's a nice name. Sure, not one of the best, but surely not one of the worst names.

V26 Comments

Seriously, nobody has said anything about this yet?

*parents discussing child's pick-up from school* "Honey, did you get head? " "Yea, I got head."

This guy would automatically become the Head of a company after graduation.

Who would name their child this?! - Powerfulgirl10

V19 Comments

I hate to be mean, but who that isn't high on some kind of narcotic would name their kid Blanket? - username34

Blanket's blanket. Blanket loves his blanket. Blanket calls his blanket Blanket. - FinnsWorld

I feel like Linus from Charlie Brown would name his kid that

Stop putting things like this on here! I will burst out laughing quite soon! - birdechosplash

V14 Comments

Some people think anyone can be named skylar regardless of gender. A guy at my school is skylar and some people call him "sky high"

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair

Not that bad... You know Skylar Astin... Pretty cool name

Ugh I hate this name

V12 Comments

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

Shrek is love shrek is life

V25 Comments

Zane is a name from a famous western author. Its not so bad to name a child this if you like country music.

My brother is 14 his name is Zane and everybody thinks his name is awful because it has the same pronunciation as the one from ID but he really hates them.

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

This name is good actually. - Powerfulgirl10

V26 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 30 Sep 2016

5,000 votes
858 listings
8 years, 171 days old

Top Remixes (24)

1. Abcde
2. Blanket
3. Pinocchio
1. Gaylord
2. Dick
3. Angus
1. Gaylord
2. Ib
3. Seaman

View All 24


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