Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top TenXW

1Gaylord

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

The word before "lord" means "Happy".

V111 Comments
2Dick

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

Awesome name

V130 Comments
3Satan

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

In my opinion, the name Satan is MUCH worse than Gaylord. At least Gaylord was at once considered normal and is only considered "abnormal" because of how messed up people are today.

Who in their right mind would name their child a devil? That is preposterous!

Worst name I see on this list because even Dick is better than this!

Oh, come on! This is just plain cruel!

V65 Comments
4Abcde

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

How do you even pronounce it? - BlueFrostOfThunderClan

V23 Comments
5Cannon

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

Lot better than some names I know...

V17 Comments
6Weegee

Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!

If you see Weegee, you will turn into Weegee anyway. Might as well name your kid something different before it inevitably happens.

This isn't a name, this is what happens when you buy the wrong size of underwear.

Lol, I have nothing to say

V18 Comments
7Angus

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!

Well I started reading the name wrong...It's Angus alright?

V28 Comments
8Seaman

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

"Look here comes semen" no offense but kids might take this name the wrong way

There is a Dreamcast game called Seaman.

V13 Comments
9Ian

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

How is this name only fourth on the list? Surely it's just the worst name ever!

This one is common, I don't see anything wrong with it

V59 Comments
10Elmo

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names

Lol imagine a kid named Elmo

V19 Comments

The Newcomers

?Danielle

There's nothing wrong with the name, although it's a GIRL'S name. Who would name a boy Danielle though, what? Daniel is more like it, of course

?Dovahkiin

The Contenders

11Ib

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

Like the game?

V22 Comments
12Laqueesha

Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?

There's always trolls. But it would suck to be a dude with some weird name like this. - Merilille

Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."

Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name

Don't name a girl this, let alone a boy - Eil__een

V26 Comments
13Osama

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Oh sweet jesus. If you slap a name like that on your kid and think that's okay you're effing wrong because when the kid gets older and attends middle or high school everyone will hate him because of that name you put on him without thinking about how the kid would feel

The parents are just calling the bullies with a megaphone, "Here is Osama Bin Laden folks, step right up! "

V10 Comments
14Wolfgang

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

It must have been a cool name in the Mozart generation. But don't name your kid this in the generation we live now

No, I would love that name

V20 Comments
15Ashley

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Ashley isn't that bad of a name for a guy actually. Any Evil Dead fans will know that the main character is Ashley J. WIlliams, a badass dude. - NuMetalManiak

Its an okay name if you're the ashley man from gone with the wind. Some people might tease a guy with a feminine sounding name

This is traditionally a boy's name. It was a boy's name for decades and only since the 1970s has it been a popularized as a girl's name.

V19 Comments
16Head

Seriously, nobody has said anything about this yet?

*parents discussing child's pick-up from school* "Honey, did you get head? " "Yea, I got head."

This guy would automatically become the Head of a company after graduation.

What's next? Arm? Leg? Hand? Foot? - BlueFrostOfThunderClan

V16 Comments
17Blanket

I hate to be mean, but who that isn't high on some kind of narcotic would name their kid Blanket? - username34

Blanket's blanket. Blanket loves his blanket. Blanket calls his blanket Blanket. - FinnsWorld

I feel like Linus from Charlie Brown would name his kid that

Stop putting things like this on here! I will burst out laughing quite soon! - birdechosplash

V13 Comments
18Skyler

Some people think anyone can be named skylar regardless of gender. A guy at my school is skylar and some people call him "sky high"

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair

Not that bad... You know Skylar Astin... Pretty cool name

This is a girls name. - birdechosplash

V10 Comments
19Shrek

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

Hai my name is shrek

V19 Comments
20Zane

Zane is a name from a famous western author. Its not so bad to name a child this if you like country music.

My brother is 14 his name is Zane and everybody thinks his name is awful because it has the same pronunciation as the one from ID but he really hates them.

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

Well, this is a Zany name.

V24 Comments
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