Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top TenXW


Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

Its just not right

V124 Comments

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

Cannot be used in today's world. Lol. - LightningBlade

V139 Comments

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

In my opinion, the name Satan is MUCH worse than Gaylord. At least Gaylord was at once considered normal and is only considered "abnormal" because of how messed up people are today.

Who in their right mind would name their child a devil? That is preposterous!

Worst name I see on this list because even Dick is better than this!

This name really sucks. I haven't met any guy with this name. - LightningBlade

V78 Comments

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

He has skills in his alphabet? - Neonco31

V30 Comments

Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!

If you see Weegee, you will turn into Weegee anyway. Might as well name your kid something different before it inevitably happens.

Sounds like something a three year old would call you as a nickname

Lol. You'd name your kid Weegee?! Trying to be like Super Mario Bros, eh? - Powerfulgirl10

V21 Comments

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

"Look here comes semen" no offense but kids might take this name the wrong way

There is a Dreamcast game called Seaman.

V14 Comments

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names

I'm going to call my kid Kermit. Stupid name this is, Elmo for goodness - JacknLou1e

V25 Comments

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

Isn't that a camera brand? - GreenDay_Killjoys

V20 Comments

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

The only Angus I know is from that Disney Channel show Ant Farm and he was a chubby, lazy computer geek who liked to eat. He couldn't even do one sit-up! Plus, this name also sounds like a huge burger you'd get from a fast food restaurant

I have a friend named angus and I made that joke before.

V32 Comments

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

How is this name only fourth on the list? Surely it's just the worst name ever!

Hey, my brothers name is Ian and he is amazing!

V65 Comments

The Newcomers


Trump is terrible because of Donald Trump

V3 Comments

The Contenders


This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

I thought that was short 4 "international baccalaureate" or "intellectual brain-sweeper" or something like that - GriffinDoge

V25 Comments

Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?

There's always trolls. But it would suck to be a dude with some weird name like this. - Merilille

Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."

Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name

What a ghetto name. - Music_Lover123

V30 Comments

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

Wolfgang is a cool name example : Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Sounds badass.

V25 Comments

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Oh sweet jesus. If you slap a name like that on your kid and think that's okay you're effing wrong because when the kid gets older and attends middle or high school everyone will hate him because of that name you put on him without thinking about how the kid would feel

Not a reincarnation! - LightningBlade

V13 Comments

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Its an okay name if you're the ashley man from gone with the wind. Some people might tease a guy with a feminine sounding name

Ashley isn't that bad of a name for a guy actually. Any Evil Dead fans will know that the main character is Ashley J. WIlliams, a badass dude. - NuMetalManiak

Shorten it to Ash

V27 Comments

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.

There's a guy on my bus nicknamed Hitler because he made constant Jew jokes. Just thought I'd share.

This name is satanic - GriffinDoge

V18 Comments

Some people think anyone can be named skylar regardless of gender. A guy at my school is skylar and some people call him "sky high"

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair

Not that bad... You know Skylar Astin... Pretty cool name

Ugh I hate this name

V12 Comments

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.

This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).

Fix it Felix! Reminds me of wreck it Ralph. And plumbers.

It's a good name. PewDiePie's real name is Felix

V17 Comments

Zane is a name from a famous western author. Its not so bad to name a child this if you like country music.

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

My brother is 14 his name is Zane and everybody thinks his name is awful because it has the same pronunciation as the one from ID but he really hates them.

I love Zayn Malik

V27 Comments

I have a church minster named kevin and he is a wonderful guy he is the kids minster and I love it when he preaches I think

Kevin is not a bad name it should be on the best names ever so I think it is great name

I thought these were supposed to be ugly...

I think Kevin is a awesome name!

V18 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 4 Dec 2016

5,000 votes
863 listings
8 years, 236 days old

Top Remixes (25)

1. Abcde
2. Blanket
3. Pinocchio
1. Gaylord
2. Dick
3. Angus
1. Gaylord
2. Ib
3. Seaman

View All 25


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