Worst First Names for a Boy

July 5, 2015 - Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.

The Top Ten

1
Gaylord
Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.
I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed
Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name
[Newest]Why would you name your child Gaylord?

2Dick
Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too.

aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick

noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny.

fireinside96

[Newest]For my whole life I would be trying to find out why my parents named me this. I mean really a penis? What's next my parents are going to name my sister Miffy?

3Satan
Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?
I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.
Because satan is bad
[Newest]Satan isn't as bad as "gaylord"

4Cannon
Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though.

Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon.

Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.
[Newest]Boom! Goes the cannon.

5Ib
This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!
That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names
I make this noise when I am confused. "Ib! Ib! "

username34

[Newest]Who would name kids Ib


6Laqueesha
Um, a dude named Laqueesha? Is this for real or is this site trolling?
Sounds like some sort of noodle.

"Son come get your laqueesha and meatballs!."
Ghetto girl name, his parents were probably high thinking of the name
[Newest]I am a girl and that is my name but I am surprised that name is not on the list for worst names for a girl.

7Seaman
"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "
Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?
I would hate to be named Seaman.
[Newest]It's Captain Hook's middle name!

8Angus
The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.
Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you
Wow, that's the dumbest name after my 6 oz angus burger at Burger King!
[Newest]Although its on the worst boys name I like the name angus and cannon

9Ian
I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.
Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!
If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended
What are you talking about the meaning of the name Ian is "god is forgiving" not "it"! So Ian is a good name to have!
[Newest]I am fully Scottish and my name is this. But I don't know one Australian named this.

10Weegee
Mario bros... sounds like luigi but this is just a gross name!
Hi I am a eleven year old girl and Weegee? Really? You can see the word Wee in it. Well at least you can't see the word poo in it.+_+
Its a great name laugh out loud ill call my dad this :]

The Contenders

11Abcde
-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...
I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels
My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.
[Newest]I have to admit, it's actually unique. I've never met someone named abcde before. I had never heard of it until now. Props to whoever thought of that.

12Wolfgang
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer
Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you

ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought
Wolfgang is a cool name example : Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
[Newest]Ugh what a stupid gangster name!

13Osama
Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!
It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"
Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid
[Newest]I think the name is cute

14Ashley
This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name...

Pikachulover1

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy
It's actually a boy name but it sounds better on a girl.
[Newest]This is a girls name. And MY name! Why?

15Elmo
Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.
I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...
I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names
[Newest]It would be kinda cute if it wasn't toddlers show.

16Felix
What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.
This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).
Fix it Felix! Reminds me of wreck it Ralph. And plumbers.
[Newest]HOW? ? Such a nice one, my favorite space jumper 's name is felix. :/

17Skyler
I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair
Skyler, I am the one who knocks!
It seem his parents cannot spell. As in Fillup.
[Newest]It sounds like a cool name.

SammySpore


18Zane
Best name ever, a-hole.
My father almost named me this!

gunsnroses

My brother is 14 his name is Zane and everybody thinks his name is awful because it has the same pronunciation as the one from ID but he really hates them.
[Newest]I had a kid in gym class named this

19Braydon
I don't see anything wrong with this name. It's a lot better than other names on this list. I mean, who would wanna name their kid Satan?
It's a cute name ill name my son braydon
Looks like someone spelled Brandon wrong
[Newest]My name is Braydon...

20Owen
My arch enemies name!

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This list was created 7 years, 83 days ago and has been voted on over 4,000 times. This top ten list contains 623 items, has been remixed 18 times.

Updated Sunday, July 05, 2015


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