Top Ten Worst Things to Say When Making Interstellar Contact

The Top Ten
1 So, you're a hermaphrodite? How's that doing for you?

I've gone insane. Don't worry, I'll be back soon...

2 Who's to say your lasers are bigger?
3 Can we probe YOU now?

If I were one of the aliens, I'd step on it, far, far away from this crazy blue/green planet.

Those alien things would look at you like YOU were the one with two heads! Brilliant!

4 Did you ever see Alien?
5 So, that face is considered attractive on your planet, then?

Well, yes! A twenty foot wide eye socket with a five inch eye gets all those alien girls hot for them!

6 The dark side, are you from? Mmm?

Don't think they've seen Star Wars, but they probably know what they're on about.

7 Sorry, I no speak Klingon.
8 I am tasty
9 See this eye? Didn't see the second one, did you?
10 You can keep Buddy Holly!

You screwed this one up.
It should be "You can keep Chuck Berry! ". A riff on the Saturday Night Live bit with Dan Akroyd where the aliens send a massage "Send more Chuck Berry" because one of the musicians on the "Voyager" probe was Chuck Berry.
Buddy Holly was good, but unrelated to this topic.

Well, Buddy Holly disappeared in a plane "crash". Chuck Berry didn't.

The Contenders
11 So, you want to eat us? Luckily the most meaty of us can't run that fast.

Oh, boy, is that a bad thing to say?!?!

12 You are now my slave
13 I Just Can't Get You Out of My Head



That microchip is causing my brain to hurt and is making me speak oddly.

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