Top 10 Quotes from J. Jonah Jameson of the Spider-man Movies

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The Top Ten
1 Wait, wait! I got it! 'Doctor Octopus'

J. Jonah Jameson : What are we gonna call this guy?
Hoffman : 'Doctor Octopus'?
J. Jonah Jameson : That's crap.
Hoffman : 'Science Squid'?
J. Jonah Jameson : Crap.
Hoffman : 'Doctor Strange'.
J. Jonah Jameson : That's pretty good.
[Hoffman looks proud]
J. Jonah Jameson : But it's taken! Wait, wait! I got it! 'Doctor Octopus'.
Hoffman : But... uh...
[gives up]
Hoffman : I like it.
J. Jonah Jameson : Of course you do. 'Doctor Octopus'. New villain in town: 'Doc Ock'.
Hoffman : Genius.
J. Jonah Jameson : What, are you looking for a raise? Get out!

2 I WANT SPIDER-MAN!

J. Jonah Jameson : I drove Spider-Man away. My god, he was a hero. Spider-Man truly was an asset to this city. He was...
J. Jonah Jameson : [a whooshing sound is heard and Jameson turns around - realizing that the Spider-Man costume is gone]... a criminal! That's who he is! A burglar! He stole my suit! I want Spider-Man!
[sees an open window]
J. Jonah Jameson : I WANT SPIDER-MAN!

3 You want a staff job, and you want a staff job. Anybody care about what I want?

J. Jonah Jameson : [referring to Eddie and Peter] You want a staff job, and you want a staff job, anybody care about what I want?
Hoffman : [opens Jameson's office door and quickly answers] I do.
J. Jonah Jameson : [calmly] Shut up. Get out.

4 Oh right, you're unfired, get back here!

Miss Brant : [Walks in with Peter] Chief, I found Parker.
J. Jonah Jameson : 'Bout time, where were you? Crazy scientist blows himself up, and we don't have pictures!
Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson : I heard Spider-Man was there.
J. Jonah Jameson : [annoyed] And where were you, photographing squirrels? You're fired!
Miss Brant : [Peter turns to leave] Chief, the planetarium party.
J. Jonah Jameson : Oh right, you're unfired, get back here!

5 My society photographer got hit in the head by a polo ball. You're all I got.

J. Jonah Jameson: Come here. Parker, what do you know about high society?
Peter Parker : Oh... well, I...
J. Jonah Jameson : Don't answer that. My society photographer got hit in the head by a polo ball. You're all I got. Big party tonight for an American hero, my son the astronaut.
Peter Parker : [serious] Could you pay me in advance?
[Jameson laughs hysterically for a few seconds]
J. Jonah Jameson : You serious? What, pay you for just standing there? Tomorrow night, the planeterium, 8:00. There's the door.

6 YOU TELL MY WIFE... Thank you.

Miss Brant : [beeps on speaker phone, shaking desk] Your blood pressure, Mr. Jameson. Your wife told me to tell you to watch the anger.
J. Jonah Jameson : YOU TELL MY WIFE...
[calms down]
J. Jonah Jameson : [speaks into phone] Thank you.
[turns to Hoffman]
J. Jonah Jameson : Continue.
Miss Brant : [buzzes phone and shakes desk again] Time to take your pill.
Miss Brant : [buzz] Not that one.
Miss Brant : [buzz] Not that one.
J. Jonah Jameson : [points to jar of pills]
Miss Brant : [nods and buzzes phone] Drink plenty of water.
J. Jonah Jameson : [sigh] Thank you.

7 We've got a page one problem, shut up.

Hoffman : We've got a page six problem.
J. Jonah Jameson : We've got a page one problem, shut up.

8 Brant, that's not the position I hired you for!

Miss Brant : Your shots are so good.
Peter Parker : I'd love to shoot you sometime.
Miss Brant : Peter Parker... oh, Peter...
J. Jonah Jameson : Brant, that's not the position I hired you for!

9 Who is Spider-Man? He's a criminal that's who he is! A vigilante! A public menace! What's he doing on MY front page?
10 I haven't printed a retraction in twenty years!

Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson : [Peter has exposed Brock's fake photos and Robbie shows the comparison to Jameson] It's a fake. Empire State photographic department confirms it.
J. Jonah Jameson : [slams the evidence down, to Brock] Pack your things. Get out of my building.
Eddie Brock : I was just...
J. Jonah Jameson : [cutting him off] YOU'RE FIRED!
Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson : [as Brock leaves] You know we're gonna have to print a retraction now.
J. Jonah Jameson : I haven't printed a retraction in twenty years!