Top 10 Absurd Ways Santa Claus Could Be a Communist
We all know that Santa Claus is one of the biggest western influences of Christmas, but there is some speculation that Santa could be a communist. How? Let's check the reasons... And by the way, don't take this list too seriously.Santa's original name, Father Christmas, used to be a skinny man who wore green.
Santa is a communist because he doesn't wink in the Coca-Cola advert anymore.
You know, the founder of Communism.
This is an obese elderly man who is older than any human being. He can deliver presents to kids in one night. He has a flying sleigh and flying reindeer, one of which has a red nose that lights the sky for him. He also has elves to make the toys and drinks booze from every house he goes to. How many homes have chimneys nowadays?
He seems fine with other men younger than him impersonating him in "Santa's Grotto."
Santa wears red. So does Satan. Spell Santa differently, and you get Satan. Satan wears red. The USSR is red. Satan is USSR confirmed.
But how come upper-class kids get so many different presents, and working-class kids get a select few?
This is actually a pretty good reason. I have never gotten a present that says "Made in the USA" or some other country.
Lots of items are manufactured in China for some reason.
And we all know that China is a communist country.
He has a beard like Saint Nicholas and the Father Christmases of the UK before the Victorian era (when the American Santa Claus came).
Stalin didn't have a beard, neither did Lenin (they had amazing mustaches though).
The other reindeer made fun of Rudolph until Santa realized that he could help him.
No doubt, this line refers to the KGB: "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake." The KGB knows everything.
Yes, and the song says, "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake," which just shows an example of the vice grip of Communist governments.
You know, the motto of the Soviet Union was "Workers of the world, unite!"
And they put glowing hot coal in your stockings while your feet were still in them.
Rudolf is a Germanic name, and I guess Santa got Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer, from the Marxist wing of the German Communist Party.
Russia was the biggest communist country in the world, and Rudolf was Santa's reindeer.
Another song we all know but where there is a hidden message in reverse.
This is honestly the funniest thing ever!
And how many homes even have chimneys nowadays?