Top 10 Absurd Ways Santa Claus Could Be a CommunistSo it's 22 December 2015, of the Third Annual Christmas Countdown. We all know that Santa Claus is one of the biggest western influences of Christmas, but there is some speculation that Santa could be a communist. How? Let's check the reasons.... And by the way, don't take this list too seriously.
The Top Ten
Guess what Santa Claus is fictional and is based on Saint Nicolas.
Go to a shop like WH Smith or Waterstones if they still sell them if not try Amazon UK. Then buy a book called Graffiti Doodle by Andrew Pinder. You will find him in there and turn him into Santa Claus lol.
Santa original name Father Christmas, used to be a skinny man who wore green.
Santa is a communist because he doesn't wink in the Coca Cola advert anymore.
This is an obese elderly man who is older than any human being, he can deliver presents to kids in one night, he has a flying sleigh and flying reindeers one has a red nose that lights the sky for him. He also has elves to make the toys. He drinks booze from every house he goes too. Then how many homes have chimneys nowadays.
He seems fine with other men younger than him impersonating him in "Santa's Grotto"
Santa wears red. So does Satan. Spell Santa differently and get Satan. Satan wears red. USSR is red. Satan is USSR confirmed. - SirSkeletorThe3rd
By that logic, the republican party is communist.
Red is the color of Communism. Enough said.
But how come upper class kids get so many different presents and working class kids get a select few? - PositronWildhawk
That's what I was thinking. So I guess Santa supports Capitalism? - Alpha101
That is actually a good thing.
NICE! love this one
This is actually a pretty good reason. I have never gotten a present that says "Made in the USA" or some other country. - BlueTopazIceVanilla
And we all know that China is a communist country.
I laughed so hard at this one! Very unique list! - Alpha101
He has a beard like Saint Nicholas, and the Father Christmases of UK before Victorian era. (When the American Santa Claus came)
Does that mean the Robertson family are communists too, - bobbythebrony
Stalin didn't have a beard, neither did Lenin (they had amazing mustaches though)
Merlin, Gandalf, Dumbledore.
The other reindeers made fun of Rudolph till Santa realised that he could help him.
See, red again - Metal_Treasure
(this isn't serious right?!?!?! )
Dang it, Rudoplh. - Luxam
Yeah, and that's how he knows where everyone lives - TwilightKitsune
Yeah. AND, the song says, "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake…" which just shows an example of the vice grip of Communist governments. - BlueTopazIceVanilla
No doubt, this line refers to the KGB - "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake". KGB knows everything. - Metal_Treasure
Don't be PC.
You know, the motto of the Soviet Union was "Workers of the world, unite! "
I thought it meant "Nick Minaj" because she is one. - Skullkid755
Please, don't tell me that this is in any way serious
Skullkid755 no that would be Hoe Hoe Hoe not Ho Ho Ho
And they put glowing hot coal in your stockings - while your feet were still in them - Billyv
Germanic name - 445956
Russia was the biggest communist country in the world...and Rudolf was Santa's reindeer.
Rudolf is a Germanic name and I guess Santa got Rudolf, The red nosed reindeer, from the Marxist wing of the German Communist Party. - Metal_Treasure
It's actually a German name - EpicHorrorMaster
Not true - 445956
Another song we all know but where there is a hidden message in reverse... - PositronWildhawk
Can someone send me the link to listen the reverse? - SamuiNeko
This is honestly the funniest thing ever!
He lives in Lapland.
That's right he drinks 24 million glasses.
He doesn't drink milk.
Reindeers that can fly one with a red nose that lights the way, he can fly faster than the speed of light, on Christmas Eve he delivers every present to every child who celebrates Saturnalia/Yule/Christmas/Chrimbo.
Before the Americans invented Santa Claus
And how many homes even have chimneys nowadays?