Top Ten (Allegedly Real) Quotes from Letters to Islington Council's Housing Department

Kiteretsunu
Islington is primarily a residential district in Greater London where many families settled post war.

The Top Ten

1 I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off

Well if you know the British slang. meaning of knob; you know what I'm talking about. - Kiteretsunu

Really, really excellent and funny list, Kiteretsunu. Yes I DO know exactly what the slang word means! Haha! - Britgirl

2 The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

You stand in a very uncomfortable position. - Kiteretsunu

Lols, how could some1 ever write this! - HezarioSeth

3 I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall

He really cares for his sink. Doesn't he? - Kiteretsunu

Haha lolz super funny! - HezarioSeth

4 Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant

NOW SHE IS PREGNANT?!?! - PositronWildhawk

5 Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink

I guess I know which water he is trying to talk about. - Kiteretsunu

6 I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much
7 The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous

Erected statue or something else... - Kiteretsunu

8 I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night
9 We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house
10 I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage
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List Stats

10 listings
4 years, 147 days old

Top Remixes

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off
2. The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
3. I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall
Kiteretsunu

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