Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Donald Trump

A lot of people, namely ignorant, ill-witted lunatics, will look upon this list with disdain. But let's face the facts: Trump has blown billions of dollars over a long history of his corporations filing for bankruptcy, becoming worth substantially less money than he would've been on interest on his inheritance alone, and has had numerous ties to organised crime, been publicly exposed for racial and misogynist discrimination, the list goes on.
To be fair, he was never really a man of business or politics, and I doubt he'd make a great president. Is there something else Trump could be doing, maybe something he'd be better at? Let's see...
The Top Ten
1 Clown

Why do you say this when he acts like one?

He wouldn't need makeup.

But isn't he already one?

I thought he already was one?

2 Underwear Model

Excuse me, I gotta go throw up. But it's kind of degrading to hate him for his looks, looks don't matter. It's what's inside that counts, and that makes trump even uglier than he is now.

LOLOL! This would be nasty to watch and weird! Why would he model for this? If he does, then he should do it for the company of Fruit Of The Loom and promote it to stores like Walmart. "Fruit Of The Loom Men's Underwear Donald Trump Edition! "

That's a visual no one wants burned in their mind. Gross.

Funny but disgusting!

3 Mental Therapist

He is the one who needs one, he can definitely not be a therapist.

I think HE needs to see a mental therapist first...

I don't think someone who is REEALLY mental should be a therapist.

He needs a mental therapist!

4 Marriage Counselor

Divorced twice and has a thing for his daughter, Ivanka? Why yes, he is fit for the job.

Anything other than president.

Uh... let's hope not

5 Jack-o-Lantern Model

What a perfect career for someone as orange as Ronald McDonald Trump.

The most terrifying one of all. Now no kids will steal your candy.

6 A McDonald's Burger Flipper

You want French Fries? Go to France! We only serve American Fries here!

I can already imagine McDonald's nicknaming him "Ronald McDonald Trump".

The real question is if he can make the burgers great again.

The only job that actually fits him in my opinion!

7 Pit Toilet Cleaner

He would be disgusted if he cleaned up toilets since he is used to being rich and clean. He would pick up poop and clean up pee.

Never thought it'd be possible for Trump to look even more like a crap head.

Yes. Make this happen.

Perfect! Should be #1!

8 Kindergarten Teacher

He would be a very mean Kindergarten teacher. I bet he would probably teach kids how to be racist and appreciate it. He would probably yell at a kid and make them have a time out for going to the restroom!

All Kindergarten students in Catholic schools already know how to build a wall, since Vatican City is completely surrounded by a very large wall, with only four possible ways to go in or out.

After school"
Mom: So how was your day, Mike?
Mike: The teacher was ugly and mean, mommy!
Mom: MIKE! That's very rude-*sees Trump* Oh, I see.

"This is what we'll learn today, kids:
-Why Kim Jung Un is a Good Leader, with an essay written by me.
-How to build a wall
-What to do when you see a Mexican."

9 Lawyer

Should be #1!
Marriage consoler: he's been remarried three times & cheated on his current wife I wouldn't trust him to fix my marriage problems.

Underwear model:... /vomits

Kindergarten teacher: not a good idea for a pedo to be that

Mental theropist: I agree with he needs to see one

Gynecologist: he'd raep/molest his patents

Priest: he'd make it worse for churches by continuing to spread hate & judgement which god is against

Hostage negotiator: he'd make things worse

Police officer: hide all u Muslims & Mexicans

He is a good at lying too... somewhat. Anyways, he sure knows how to not give up & lie

10 Catholic Priest

I thought he was a Protestant.

LOLOL no. He even once said that his daughter has a nice figure. That sound like a Priest ti you? lolol.

The Contenders
11 Hostage Negotiator

I think he's already volunteered for this one...

12 Fast Food Employee

I would rather vomit then eat at any fast food restaurant Trump has.

13 Disney Channel Director

I bet he would create the worst sitcoms ever. He would make a sitcom called "Build A Wall" about teens that hate immagrants and want to build a wall with the permission of the U.S. government.

NO! He will just make the most racist sitcoms and leave a scar on humanity. We don't need cheesy sitcoms about the trade war, deporting foreign peoples or whatever.

He would make a racist sitcom starring white people and just one black person.

14 Gynecologist

Well, if he is thinking about a career change, he needs to get his finger out of the present hole he's in quickly before delving deep into another...

15 Septic Tank Cleaner

Haha "septic tank" is London rhyming slang for "Yank" ;P
Will he give all the septic tanks a good scrub down then...?

16 Janitor
17 Sewer Cleaner
18 Medusa's Eye Doctor

How is this not number 1?

19 Cat Food Taster

This is perfect. He's even below cats, because cats are smart and cuddle with you and are gentle and loving.

20 Executioner
21 Elephant clean up crew member
22 Middle School Bus Driver

If he can handle this, he can handle any foreign diplomat, it is well known that middle school students are the most annoying and immature demographic in the world, and middle school bus drivers are among the most abused workers in the world.

A great way to train his temper so that he can be a better person.

23 Comedian
24 Toilet Cleaner
25 Rapper

" I am Donald Trump and I wanna build a wall. I want people off my wall and they should get a ball. Yo, DJ Trump is gonna be president(4 times)"

I make very bad lyrics, but yeah this is what Trump would probably rap.

NO! He will make rap even more overhated than before.

He would make a great rapper... for racists

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