Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Donald Trump

A lot of people, namely ignorant, ill-witted lunatics, will look upon this list with disdain. But let's face the facts: Trump has blown billions of dollars over a long history of his corporations filing for bankruptcy, becoming worth substantially less money than he would've been on interest on his inheritance alone, and has had numerous ties to organised crime, been publicly exposed for racial and misogynist discrimination, the list goes on.
To be fair, he was never really a man of business or politics, and I doubt he'd make a great president. Is there something else Trump could be doing, maybe something he'd be better at? Let's see...

The Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Donald Trump

1 Underwear Model

LOLOL! This would be nasty to watch and weird! Why would he model for this? If he does, then he should do it for the company of Fruit Of The Loom and promote it to stores like Walmart. "Fruit Of The Loom Men's Underwear Donald Trump Edition! "

Funny but disgusting! - Neonco31

Hold on I gotta go throw up in the corner right now - codydoestuff

That's a visual no one wants burned in their mind. Gross.

2 Mental Therapist

I think HE needs to see a mental therapist first... - Brobusky

He is the one who needs one, he can definitely not be a therapist.

Men tell the rapist

Mental The Rapist

3 Marriage Counselor

But he was divorced thrice - TwilightKitsune

Uh... let's hope not - ProPanda

Anything other than president. - HeavyDonkeyKong

Divorced twice and has a thing for his daughter, Ivanka? Why yes, he is fit for the job. - Bolshoy_Brat

4 Clown

He wouldn't need makeup. - BeatlesFan1964

But isn't he already one?

But he still is a clown - uoi

He'd be even scarier...

5 Kindergarten Teacher

"This is what we'll learn today, kids:
-Why Kim Jung Un is a Good Leader, with an essay written by me.
-How to build a wall
-What to do when you see a Mexican." - RoseWeasley

After school"
Mom: So how was your day, Mike?
Mike: The teacher was ugly and mean, mommy!
Mom: MIKE! That's very rude-*sees Trump* Oh, I see. - RoseWeasley

He would be a very mean Kindergarten teacher. I bet he would probably teach kids how to be racist and appreciate it. He would probably yell at a kid and make them have a time out for going to the restroom!

All the kids in his care would still be at kindergarten level in 8th grade. - Kaboom

6 A McDonald's Burger Flipper

The real question is if he can make the burgers great again. - Swellow

You want French Fries? Go to France! We only serve American Fries here! - PositronWildhawk

At least he doesn't get paid a lot in this job. Make it number 1 - njalabi63989

The only job that actually fits him in my opinion! - HeavyDonkeyKong

7 Lawyer

Should be #1!
Marriage consoler: he's been remarried three times & cheated on his current wife I wouldn't trust him to fix my marriage problems.

Underwear model:... /vomits

Kindergarten teacher: not a good idea for a pedo to be that

Mental theropist: I agree with he needs to see one

Gynecologist: he'd raep/molest his patents

Priest: he'd make it worse for churches by continuing to spread hate & judgement which god is against

Hostage negotiator: he'd make things worse

Police officer: hide all u Muslims & Mexicans

He is a good at lying too... somewhat. Anyways, he sure knows how to not give up & lie

He's a crook! - Kaboom

8 Jack-o-Lantern Model

What a perfect career for someone as orange as Ronald McDonald Trump. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

He'd be a very scary Jack-o-Latern.

9 Catholic Priest

I thought he was a Protestant. - ModernSpongeBobSucks


LOLOL no. He even once said that his daughter has a nice figure. That sound like a Priest ti you? lolol. - HeavyDonkeyKong

10 Hostage Negotiator

I think he's already volunteered for this one... - PetSounds

The Contenders

11 Gynecologist

Well, if he is thinking about a career change, he needs to get his finger out of the present hole he's in quickly before delving deep into another... - Britgirl

12 Pit Toilet Cleaner

He would be disgusted if he cleaned up toilets since he is used to being rich and clean. He would pick up poop and clean up pee.

LOL very low money. This is perfect for Trump. - njalabi63989

Perfect! Should be #1!

Never thought it'd be possible for Trump to look even more like a s*** head - BrianScott01

13 Disney Channel Director

NO! He will just make the most racist sitcoms and leave a scar on humanity. We don't need cheesy sitcoms about the trade war, deporting foreign peoples or whatever. - MChkflaguard_Yt

I bet he would create the worst sitcoms ever. He would make a sitcom called "Build A Wall" about teens that hate immagrants and want to build a wall with the permission of the U.S. government.

He would make a racist sitcom starring white people and just one black person. - LaST_LiGHT

14 Fast Food Employee

I would rather vomit then eat at any fast food restaurant Trump has.

15 Janitor
16 Middle School Bus Driver

If he can handle this, he can handle any foreign diplomat, it is well known that middle school students are the most annoying and immature demographic in the world, and middle school bus drivers are among the most abused workers in the world.

A great way to train his temper so that he can be a better person. - MChkflaguard_Yt

He can tell us tales of Muslims and Mexicans along the way - TwilightKitsune

17 Rapper

" I am Donald Trump and I wanna build a wall. I want people off my wall and they should get a ball. Yo, DJ Trump is gonna be president(4 times)"

I make very bad lyrics, but yeah this is what Trump would probably rap.

NO! He will make rap even more overhated than before. - AlphaQ

He would make a great rapper... for racists - LaST_LiGHT

A joke rapper? Put him with Honey G.

18 Septic Tank Cleaner

Haha "septic tank" is London rhyming slang for "Yank" ;P
Will he give all the septic tanks a good scrub down then...? - Britgirl

19 Executioner
20 Stripper

Let's not go there

My will to live is gone

I love Strippers.

Stop. I'm eating - RoseWeasley

21 Police Officer

He would beat up any person from a race that he hates if he was a police.

Do you know what he would do if he had this job? - Kaboom

? policebrutality at its worst? We don't need that!

22 Sewer Cleaner
23 Belly Dancer

There's nothing more disgusting than seeing Donald Trump in a suit that only covers his... *ahem*... and shaking his belly in front of people. I would turn blind. - LaST_LiGHT

He definitely would NOT make a good belly dancer! I wouldn't want to turn blind.

Oh look, my dinner is back! - SirSheep

*jumps off a cliff* - RoseWeasley

24 Mirror Cleaner

It's a job he could really see himself doing. - Britgirl

He would break the mirror

25 Therapist

Let's hope the silly Billy's head doesn't get confused and becomes the-rapist instead. - Britgirl

He should see a therapist. Not become one. - 906389

26 Construction Worker

He would be great if it was for building walls, but for building other stuff? HELL NO!

I wouldn’t hire him - KingSlayer93316

27 Waiter

Don't trust it as a cashier! - Kaboom

Trump: So, did you like the food?
Me: Yes, but you are the ugliest waiter I've ever seen. - LaST_LiGHT

28 Border Patrol Agent

Since all he talks about is deporting Mexicans, this is the PERFECT job for him. - railfan99

Trump: Are you from Mexico?
Immigrant: Uh No.
Trump: Yes you are. I can smell the tacos.
Immigrant: What are you talking about?
Trump: Get him out of here

And that was another typical day for Donald J Trump. The world's greatest border guard (yeah not really)

29 Prison Officer
30 A Doctor
31 Cat Food Taster
32 Medusa's Eye Doctor

How is this not number 1?

YES. - ModernSpongeBobSucks


33 Sex Worker

He is - LaST_LiGHT

34 Accountant
35 Wall Maker
36 Elephant clean up crew member
37 Saddam Hussein Impersonator

Well, he did praise Saddam Hussein one time by saying that he killed terrorists despite Saddam Hussein not being any better than said terrorists, so I can really see Trump impersonating him. Or we could make Trump wear a square mustache and have him impersonate Adolf Hitler...? - ModernSpongeBobSucks

38 Psychic
39 President

The problem is that the OP will not allow some actual alternatives, like "Prison Guard in charge of watching Hillary".

He is a president - toptenforlife

Did ArigatoKawaii even read the list description of this list? This list is supposed to exclude the job of president and only include alternatives to it. Learn to read your list descriptions, girl.

Didn one of you red the description. Mr. Teump is currently a businessman. Alternative jobs means other jobs being excluded from businessman. I have a point. - ArigatoKawaii

40 Charity Worker

A charity worker? Since when is Donald Trump that nice? NEVER!

41 Babysitter
42 Architect

Wait, if he becomes an architect, does that mean I have to become a Trump supporter? I’m an architect... - KingSlayer93316

43 Thug
44 Cashier

Any job as long as it's low paid. - njalabi63989

45 Comedian

He'll make everyone laugh to showing his face. - RoseWeasley

46 DisneyLand Worker
47 Wig Designer
48 Toilet Cleaner
49 Mariachi Singer
50 Imam
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