Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Donald Trump

A lot of people, namely ignorant, ill-witted lunatics, will look upon this list with disdain. But let's face the facts: Trump has blown billions of dollars over a long history of his corporations filing for bankruptcy, becoming worth substantially less money than he would've been on interest on his inheritance alone, and has had numerous ties to organised crime, been publicly exposed for racial and misogynist discrimination, the list goes on.
To be fair, he was never really a man of business or politics, and I doubt he'd make a great president. Is there something else Trump could be doing, maybe something he'd be better at? Let's see...

The Top Ten

1 Underwear Model

LOLOL! This would be nasty to watch and weird! Why would he model for this? If he does, then he should do it for the company of Fruit Of The Loom and promote it to stores like Walmart. "Fruit Of The Loom Men's Underwear Donald Trump Edition! " - AnimeDrawer

Funny but disgusting! - Neonco31

Hold on I gotta go throw up in the corner right now - codydoestuff


V 4 Comments
2 Mental Therapist

I think HE needs to see a mental therapist first... - Brobusky

He is the one who needs one, he can definitely not be a therapist. - AnimeDrawer

Men tell the rapist

I don't think someone who is REEALLY mental should be a therapist. - 906389

V 1 Comment
3 Marriage Counselor

But he was divorced thrice - TwilightKitsune

Uh... let's hope not - ProPanda

Anything other than president. - HeavyDonkeyKong

He would mess up and prevent many marriages - Lucretia

V 2 Comments
4 Kindergarten Teacher

He would be a very mean Kindergarten teacher. I bet he would probably teach kids how to be racist and appreciate it. He would probably yell at a kid and make them have a time out for going to the restroom! - AnimeDrawer

All the kids in his care would still be at kindergarten level in 8th grade. - Kaboom

All Kindergarten students in Catholic schools already know how to build a wall, since Vatican City is completely surrounded by a very large wall, with only four possible ways to go in or out.

We need to build a wall out of blocks to keep Ms Smith's class up. They will give us more blocks. - Lucretia

V 8 Comments
5 Clown

He wouldn't need makeup. - BeatlesFan1964

But isn't he already one?

But he still is a clown - uoi

He's orange enough for it. - Lucretia

V 4 Comments
6 A McDonald's Burger Flipper

The real question is if he can make the burgers great again. - Swellow

At least he doesn't get paid a lot in this job. Make it number 1 - njalabi63989

The only job that actually fits him in my opinion! - HeavyDonkeyKong

You want French Fries? Go to France! We only serve American Fries here! - PositronWildhawk

V 2 Comments
7 Lawyer

He is a good at lying too... somewhat. Anyways, he sure knows how to not give up & lie

He's a crook! - Kaboom

Sure. Why not? - Lucretia

Should be #1!
Marriage consoler: he's been remarried three times & cheated on his current wife I wouldn't trust him to fix my marriage problems.

Underwear model:... /vomits

Kindergarten teacher: not a good idea for a pedo to be that

Mental theropist: I agree with he needs to see one

Gynecologist: he'd raep/molest his patents

Priest: he'd make it worse for churches by continuing to spread hate & judgement which god is against

Hostage negotiator: he'd make things worse

Police officer: hide all u Muslims & Mexicans

8 Jack-o-Lantern Model

What a perfect career for someone as orange as Ronald McDonald Trump. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

He'd be a very scary Jack-o-Latern.

9 Catholic Priest

I thought he was a Protestant. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Those kind love little boys. - Lucretia

LOLOL no. He even once said that his daughter has a nice figure. That sound like a Priest ti you? lolol. - HeavyDonkeyKong

10 Hostage Negotiator

I think he's already volunteered for this one... - PetSounds

The Contenders

11 Gynecologist

Well, if he is thinking about a career change, he needs to get his finger out of the present hole he's in quickly before delving deep into another... - Britgirl

Poor patients - Lucretia

12 Pit Toilet Cleaner

He would be disgusted if he cleaned up toilets since he is used to being rich and clean. He would pick up poop and clean up pee. - AnimeDrawer

LOL very low money. This is perfect for Trump. - njalabi63989

Both of those ansty things need yo unite - Lucretia

Never thought it'd be possible for Trump to look even more like a s*** head - BrianScott01

13 Disney Channel Director

I bet he would create the worst sitcoms ever. He would make a sitcom called "Build A Wall" about teens that hate immagrants and want to build a wall with the permission of the U.S. government. - AnimeDrawer

He would make a racist sitcom starring white people and just one black person. - LaST_LiGHT

Well, he can't screw it up any worse than it already is, so send him here. - Zach808

14 Fast Food Employee

I would rather vomit then eat at any fast food restaurant Trump has.

15 Janitor

To a president candidate to a janitor - lovingicecreams

16 Middle School Bus Driver

If he can handle this, he can handle any foreign diplomat, it is well known that middle school students are the most annoying and immature demographic in the world, and middle school bus drivers are among the most abused workers in the world.

He can tell us tales of Muslims and Mexicans along the way - TwilightKitsune

Poor kids. - Lucretia

17 Septic Tank Cleaner

Haha "septic tank" is London rhyming slang for "Yank" ;P
Will he give all the septic tanks a good scrub down then...? - Britgirl

18 Rapper

NO! He will make rap even more overhated than before. - AlphaQ

He would make a great rapper... for racists - LaST_LiGHT

He would be... terrible. - micahisthebest

"We'll build a great wall,
For mexico, for you all.
We'll stop this stupid immigrants,
From entering the great U S A." - 7357

V 2 Comments
19 Executioner

Only if he gets to say "Ya fired" before every beheading. - ArchAces

20 Police Officer

He would beat up any person from a race that he hates if he was a police. - AnimeDrawer

Do you know what he would do if he had this job? - Kaboom

? policebrutality at its worst? We don't need that!

21 Stripper

Let's not go there - SteelCity99

22 Sewer Cleaner
23 Belly Dancer

There's nothing more disgusting than seeing Donald Trump in a suit that only covers his... *ahem*... and shaking his belly in front of people. I would turn blind. - LaST_LiGHT

Hell no!

Disturbing... - ModernSpongeBobSucks

24 Mirror Cleaner

It's a job he could really see himself doing. - Britgirl

He would break the mirror

25 Therapist

Let's hope the silly Billy's head doesn't get confused and becomes the-rapist instead. - Britgirl

He should see a therapist. Not become one. - 906389

26 Waiter

Don't trust it as a cashier! - Kaboom

Trump: So, did you like the food?
Me: Yes, but you are the ugliest waiter I've ever seen. - LaST_LiGHT

27 Border Patrol Agent

Since all he talks about is deporting Mexicans, this is the PERFECT job for him. - railfan99

Trump: Are you from Mexico?
Immigrant: Uh No.
Trump: Yes you are. I can smell the tacos.
Immigrant: What are you talking about?
Trump: Get him out of here

And that was another typical day for Donald J Trump. The world's greatest border guard (yeah not really) - SteelCity99

28 Prison Officer
29 Construction Worker
30 A Doctor
31 Cat Food Taster
32 Accountant

One thing he would be actually good at. - Lucretia

33 Wall Maker
34 Elephant clean up crew member
35 Saddam Hussein Impersonator

Well, he did praise Saddam Hussein one time by saying that he killed terrorists despite Saddam Hussein not being any better than said terrorists, so I can really see Trump impersonating him. Or we could make Trump wear a square mustache and have him impersonate Adolf Hitler...? - ModernSpongeBobSucks

36 Psychic
37 President

The problem is that the OP will not allow some actual alternatives, like "Prison Guard in charge of watching Hillary".

Did ArigatoKawaii even read the list description of this list? This list is supposed to exclude the job of president and only include alternatives to it. Learn to read your list descriptions, girl.

He is a president - toptenforlife

Didn one of you red the description. Mr. Teump is currently a businessman. Alternative jobs means other jobs being excluded from businessman. I have a point. - ArigatoKawaii

38 Charity Worker
39 Babysitter

Imagine what nightmares the person that Donald Trump is babysitting would have! - micahisthebest

40 Architect
41 Thug
42 Sex Worker

He is - LaST_LiGHT

43 Cashier

Any job as long as it's low paid. - njalabi63989

44 Comedian
45 DisneyLand Worker
46 Medusa's Eye Doctor


YES. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

47 Wig Designer
48 Toilet Cleaner
49 Mariachi Singer
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List Stats

200 votes
49 listings
1 year, 175 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. Marriage Counselor
2. Rapper
3. A McDonald's Burger Flipper
1. Marriage Counselor
2. Mental Therapist
3. Lawyer
1. Kindergarten Teacher
2. Mental Therapist
3. Underwear Model

View All 6

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