Top Ten Amusing Variations On Common Sayings
The Top Ten
1 He who laughs last... was slow to get the joke.
2 A penny saved... is nowadays, after taxes and inflation, about half a penny saved.
3 Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a day, set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Given the savage, ongoing world events, this really isn't funny.
4 Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people.
I used to have a fat teacher in seventh grade which I hated. If only I knew this saying then...
5 Laugh, and the world laughs with you... cry, and the world laughs at you too, you big sissy!
6 When it rains, it pours... and when it doesn't rain, we complain about that too.
7 Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the next day.
I think my dad invented this saying.
8 People who live in glass houses... better keep their curtains shut!
9 It takes a big man to admit his mistakes... and it takes a bigger one to force the first man to admit them!
That is so true! In fact all of them are true to some extent when applied on this present world.
This is often very legit. This whole list is, but mainly this.
10 Whatever doesn't kill you will probably come back and try again.
Unless it died in the attempt..
The Contenders
11 A penny for your thoughts seems to be a fair price.
12 It is better to give than to receive... especially if it's a punch in the face!
13 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving's not for you
14 A fool and his money are a great party.
15 Red sky in morning, sailors take warning... red sky at night, sailors ask "Isn't is supposed to be dark at night?"
16 One good turn... makes you end up in the opposite direction in which you intended.
17 A bird in hand is far less sanitary than two in the bush.
18 A friend in need is a pest
Pest friends forever.
19 Don't count your chickens before they are hatched... eat them instead.
20 An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.
21 A watched pot never boils...perhaps it likes the attention?
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