Top Ten Asinine Things for Children to Write to Santa

PositronWildhawk
It's the penultimate day of the second Christmas Countdown, and here is my contribution.

The Top Ten

1 You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room... V 3 Comments
2 Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?

Yes, Santa, surely you're not a classist?! - PetSounds

3 Hey, fatty, why not try to lose some beef this new year?

Laugh out loud! This one is brilliant. - Kiteretsunu

This should be number one.

And you expect him to give you presents… - BlueTopazIceVanilla

4 This Christmas, can I get less mean and shouty parents? V 1 Comment
5 My 20-odd siblings are taking all the presents. Please give Mummy and Daddy birth control. V 1 Comment
6 I heard lucky kids in Africa are working as elves. I thought they only lived with you at the North Pole?

I get the feeling that Santa might be one of those rich, white suited racists from the 19th century. - SuperHyperdude

7 I want to see a signature here, here and here to confirm that you exist.

Fill these out in triplicate and a copy will be faxed to your lawyer. Should you break the verbal agreement we entered into when I came to see you at the mall, you will be hearing from my representative. - Finch

This reminds me, Last year (4th grade ) we wrote to "Santa" ( or no one or some random guy) and we actually sent it to the North Pole. I thought that it was stupid. Bad memories! - funnyuser

I think I might do that just for the fun of it, can you imagine how many letter the North Pole gets each year? - funnyuser

8 Take my brother with you!

My brother's too tall for an elf, but he's good with his hands. He's also ugly, see? Perfect elf

I did that when I was little, but to my sister. - Minecraftcrazy530

Yeah, my big brother will have a blast working for you, Santa.. :P - funnyuser

9 Dear Santa, please can I have my inflamed appendix out this Christmas! NOW!!!!!!!!!

Dude, an appendix is the most useless organ in the human body. Just suck a candy cane! - SuperHyperdude

However, in four-legged animals it is the primary reason their horizontal digestive system works. They don't have the aid of gravity like upright creatures do. Between that and our tailbone, evidence definitely supports an ancestral link. - Finch

10 Despite a few bank robberies and trying to cook my brother, I've been good this Christmas! Please come!

Lol what if that letter got sent to the cops

The Contenders

11 Dear Santa, why do you always wear red? Are you Communist? V 2 Comments
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11 listings
2 years, 332 days old

Top Remixes

1. You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room...
2. Hey, fatty, why not try to lose some beef this new year?
3. Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?
IronSabbathPriest
1. You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room...
2. Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?
3. This Christmas, can I get less mean and shouty parents?
PositronWildhawk

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