Top Ten Asinine Things for Children to Write to Santa

PositronWildhawk
It's the penultimate day of the second Christmas Countdown, and here is my contribution.

The Top Ten

1 You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room...

Why, what a compliement - CityGuru

That was Santa's "Little Helper..."
Brilliant list, Pos. - Britgirl

Also please give me a half bitten rotten biscuit so kids in Africa can eat that Satirical - CerealGuy

2 Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?

Yes, Santa, surely you're not a classist?! - PetSounds

3 Hey, fatty, why not try to lose some beef this new year?

Laugh out loud! This one is brilliant. - Kiteretsunu

This should be number one.

And you expect him to give you presents… - BlueTopazIceVanilla

4 This Christmas, can I get less mean and shouty parents?

Santa:HO HO HO wut would u likes 4 cristmas lil boy
Boy:i wants less mean parenWELL your NOT ALOWED

5 My 20-odd siblings are taking all the presents. Please give Mummy and Daddy birth control.
6 I heard lucky kids in Africa are working as elves. I thought they only lived with you at the North Pole?
7 I want to see a signature here, here and here to confirm that you exist.

Fill these out in triplicate and a copy will be faxed to your lawyer. Should you break the verbal agreement we entered into when I came to see you at the mall, you will be hearing from my representative. - Finch

This reminds me, Last year (4th grade ) we wrote to "Santa" ( or no one or some random guy) and we actually sent it to the North Pole. I thought that it was stupid. Bad memories! - funnyuser

I think I might do that just for the fun of it, can you imagine how many letter the North Pole gets each year? - funnyuser

8 Take my brother with you!

My brother's too tall for an elf, but he's good with his hands. He's also ugly, see? Perfect elf

I did that when I was little, but to my sister. - Minecraftcrazy530

Yeah, my big brother will have a blast working for you, Santa.. :P - funnyuser

9 Dear Santa, please can I have my inflamed appendix out this Christmas! NOW!!!!!!!!!
10 Despite a few bank robberies and trying to cook my brother, I've been good this Christmas! Please come!

Lol what if that letter got sent to the cops

The Contenders

11 Dear Santa, why do you always wear red? Are you Communist?

And Americans made the name Santa, his original name was Father Christmas.

I didn't know Santa was Russian.

And Americans love Santa...

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List Stats

11 listings
3 years, 352 days old

Top Remixes

1. You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room...
2. Hey, fatty, why not try to lose some beef this new year?
3. Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?
IronSabbathPriest
1. You're much nicer than that funny-talking man that also came down the chimney and hid in my room...
2. Why do rich people get more presents than poor people?
3. This Christmas, can I get less mean and shouty parents?
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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