Top Ten Asinine Ways to Attempt to Create a Utopian Society

PositronWildhawk
It's an unlikely thing that a lot of us wish for, but that doesn't mean we can't try. But to try like this would indeed be asinine, as the title says.

The Top Ten

1 Pass a worldwide law stating that everyone has to have the part of their brains that induces hate destroyed

No! We shall live in a society of hate and negativity, with positivity to balance it out. - gemcloben

Only problem are psychopaths. They do bad things without having to hate something. - Kiteretsunu

Wow great ideas ( sarcastic ) - Toucan

2 Disguise yourself as Jesus and clone yourself enough times so you can appear everywhere in the world and watch that people don't go out of line

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son (and a bunch of clones) so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - PetSounds

3 Start a galactic empire and invade every other planet for practically unlimited resources V 1 Comment
4 Fill the oceans with serotonin re-uptake blockers to eliminate depression and other health problems, making the world happier

As the fellow visitor said below, this is a flawed idea.

Except in cases in the Middle East where they do active desalinization (it's too expensive in the rest of the world), no drinking water comes directly from the oceans.

The chemicals you dumped in the oceans would be left behind, with the salt and other pollutants, when the water re-entered the atmosphere during evaporation and storms.

While all water is connected like you say, it's a matter of where the human drinking water fits into the chain. If you were to add the chemicals upstream, say by sprinkling it in the mountains or salting the clouds with it to produce storms, the chemicals would largely stay in the water supply to be gathered in reservoirs and storage facilities. Though I'd imaging they would be mostly filtered out during the cleaning process. That's why chemicals like fluoride are added to the water supply only one hop above hitting the public water supply and your tap.

You'd have to do the maths pretty accurately to avoid widespread serotonin syndrome. At least that's not fatal. Oh, wait... - PositronWildhawk

While this sounds good in theory, I think it would make it nearly impossible to sleep. - keycha1n

V 1 Comment
5 Get TheTopTens admins to rule the world

And implement their policies on everyone in the world! - PositronWildhawk

Imagine: a world where nobody is to criticize or mention eachother's name in vain.

"Imagine":
A world full of mindless lemmings following each other over a cliff.

V 2 Comments
6 Break the Second Law of Thermodynamics

Do that, and you can obtain free energy from everything, and thus do anything for anyone. Only one small problem: you can't break the Second Law of Thermodynamics. - PositronWildhawk

7 Pass a worldwide law making everyone say the word "bollocks" in every sentence, to keep up morale by being so amusing.

Refusal to use this word in any sentence shall be punishable by bollocks. - PositronWildhawk

Don't you hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it bollocks? - gemcloben

That's so stupid bollocks! It's so bllocks, that I think I would bollock myself! I MEAN BOLLOCKS IS SO BOLLOCKS THAT I BOLLOCKS BOLLOCKS TO BOLLOCKS!

Y know bollocks? Bollocks you! - CastlevaniaFanboy128

V 1 Comment
8 Hack into all government computers and erase all proof that there are problems with the world, and so there are officially none

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..."

V 1 Comment
9 Voluntarily submerge the entire Amazon Rainforest, and go forward in time millions of years to when they have formed a practically endless supply of resources

Hawk:
Might the doxy concerning the genesis of petroleum be a myth, or worse yet, a hoax?
Are you aware of conclusions, mainly by Russian scientists, beginning in the late 19th century, that asphaltum/petroleum is the product of abiogenic processes near Earth's core?

Fossil fuels take millions of years to form, and they end up further and further underground, so might as well get a Tardis and a new crop! - PositronWildhawk

10 Start random peace movements with no apparent purpose until everyone gets the general theme

Tried and failed.
You might have heard of the addled, utopian slackers at the forefront: hippies.

V 1 Comment

The Contenders

11 Communism

Communism is not a way to a utopian society. Communism is a utopian society and a utopian society is communism. They are one and the same.

Might as well grow a beard for the revolution! - CerealGuy

Communism was originally supposed to be Utopia

Just try to avoid a civil war and famine. - ethanmeinster

V 1 Comment
12 Make all men have vagina and all ladies have penis

No thanks. I don't like the idea of menstruation. - PositronWildhawk

V 1 Comment
13 Have a revelation of the true religion
14 Have Positron keep his bacon sandwich

Gr...a cheese giraffe came and ate Borat and Borat pooped the DJ with disc and the disc fled and landed on a flying candy breathing guy and the flying candy breathing guy ate it and the flying candy breathing guy dies and the body becomes a cheese burrito and the burrito killed a giraffe on a shopping trolley and the giraffe becomes a butterfly with Morgan Freeman head and the butterfly becomes a pogostick and the pogostick steals Bill Gates hippie dragon and the pogostick fled with the dragon and the dragon exploded and emits copies of Grand Theft Auto 5 and the copies of Grand Theft Auto 5 shape shifted into a cereal and the cereal flies and landed on a MLG Noscoper head and becomes a Cereal Guy and Cereal Guy tried to steal Pos sandwich but failed CG turned into a cat... - CerealGuy

If you're the one sitting with me on my desk, you're still not getting the sandwich. - PositronWildhawk

15 Make everybody have no gender.
16 Have everybody kiss each other

...what - TwilightKitsune

17 Fascism
18 Create a isolated individual utopia for each person
19 Kill everyone who is bad
BAdd New Item

Recommended Lists

Related Lists

Top Ten Most Asinine Ways to Attempt a Jailbreak Top Ten Most Asinine Ways to Attempt to Enlarge Your Genitals Top Ten Asinine Ways to Try to Fall Asleep Top Ten Asinine Ways for the Government to Control Immigration 10 Ways Men Have Fallen Behind in Modern Society

List Stats

19 listings
2 years, 121 days old

Top Remixes

1. Pass a worldwide law stating that everyone has to have the part of their brains that induces hate destroyed
2. Disguise yourself as Jesus and clone yourself enough times so you can appear everywhere in the world and watch that people don't go out of line
3. Start a galactic empire and invade every other planet for practically unlimited resources
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

Posts

Add Post

Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.
P