Top Ten Asinine Ways for the Government to Control Immigration

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 Place a trap door at border control that opens every time it scans a non-UK passport

Huh, good idea, but what if they manage to crawl out? - TwilightKitsune

2 Tell them all that this is the entrance to the wrong country, and that the right country is on the flight leaving the third terminal in five minutes

Yeah, bruv, I ain't English at awl, none! they like, thousand o' miles away, just run n' get that plane! No rush, bruv. - PositronWildhawk

3 Eat all of their national foods improperly at the border, so that they get so annoyed that they try another country

I can imagine me going to the UK and seeing some brits eating paella with their hands. - Martinglez

Of course, if Puga came over, we'd just keep asking him if he'd like a potato. - PositronWildhawk

Would you like a potato
Would you like a potato
Would you like a potato
Would you like a potato
Would you like a potato
Would you like a potato - Puga

4 Move all the major cities up really high mountains and give all the non-immigrants oxygen tanks

Might be a problem here in Britain. All of our mountains are in Scotland, and the English would probably want to stay put. - PositronWildhawk

Oh gee, you better hide this list before Trump finds it - keycha1n

5 Tell everyone coming in that they left the front door unlocked, so they have to go back
6 Shoot down every incoming plane you can see

Akbar!

7 Find out where they intend to move in, and attach hundreds of balloons to the house like in "Up", which should take them back to their own country

, I bet they wouldn't even notice - TwilightKitsune

8 Encourage everyone in the country to have loud parties every single night, so the immigrants can't sleep at night and decide to leave

Unless, of course, it constitutes a welcoming party... - PositronWildhawk

Joke's on you, Spanish love to party. - Martinglez

9 Tackle them one by one into the water as they arrive by boat

This is just great. I can imagine the one on one struggle.
"Get back in the water, dammit. And SWIM HOME. shoo shoo...! - Britgirl

10 Attach a small rocket to their pants while they go through customs, which will promptly go off and send them into space

Nope, nothing extreme about this one at all... - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 Make a burning wall

How would you keep it burning?... - PositronWildhawk

12 Hang them high
13 Build a Wall

WE HAVE TO BUILD A WALL - Cheese567

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2 years, 91 days old

Top Remixes

1. Place a trap door at border control that opens every time it scans a non-UK passport
2. Tell them all that this is the entrance to the wrong country, and that the right country is on the flight leaving the third terminal in five minutes
3. Eat all of their national foods improperly at the border, so that they get so annoyed that they try another country
PositronWildhawk

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