Top Ten Awkward Excuses to Use When Caught Talking to Yourself
The Top Ten
1 Trying to get into the mindset of my Creepypasta readings. The stories are bad enough already so if I just sound monotonic, it will make it ten times worse. Cherish the life of Jeff The Killer, bro.
2 Just wanted to practice my vocabularies for the people I do or don't like. The next time someone tries to own me in a game of words, then I'll be sure to beat them.
3 This is a precautionary case if I do become a politician. If I was to one day become the leader of the universe, then I must start right now. Life's a lottery ticket, you know.
4 Trying to imagine that I was a stand up comedian, getting chucked bricks at me and I swear to God it was real at one point.
5 There was a guy just outside, saying that I was responsible for the existence of Twilight. So I had to show him the power of Jacob but it was cold so I had to stay in the frenzy of Edward.
6 What? I'm only reenacting the part where you started to get infuriated over a game on football. You were drunk, I know so I won't get surprised that you don't remember stuff.
7 Ok, the reason why he isn't here is because he just has some super power where I can only see him and no one else can. In fact, he's now flipping the bird just right in front of your face.
8 Sorry about that, I'm trying to convince my fraternal pet brother-in-law that he's not a wizard. Ever since he got unconscious from that running ball and was back up after three hours, he thinks he had the scar from being dead for a long period of time.
9 I'm trying to imagine that the Lord is here and I'm going to attempt debunking his religion to the Holy Earth and turn it into fossil fuels. If you excuse me, please be gone with you.
10 You know, I think it's a good time to get the cat out of the bag and say that I'm a schizophrenic. This thing is forcing me to tell bad things about you and you shouldn't be angry at me!
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