Top Ten Awkward Things for a Grandparent to Say In Their Videotaped Will

You're dead, fantastic! One of your family member finds your videotape you made as a precautionary and then they realise why you're never outside before.

The Top Ten

1 I've only got about 1% of batteries left so I have to be quick abo... *tape closes*

Oh the cruelty of that!
(great list! ( - keycha1n

2 Hello and if your hearing voices coming from upstairs, ignore it... please don't pay any attention to it.
3 So anyways, I'm just throwing it out there. I hate you all and once this tape ends, your whole house will explode.
4 If you're wandering why I have a dildo in the box... it's nothing.

Oh, no, I won't wonder why at all. - PositronWildhawk

5 Before I end this tape, I want to ask you something. What the hell is that guy and what are those kids? Are you a prostitute? Did you get paid? If yes, I failed! No wills for you!
6 All I want to say is... I love you all. Although, I may have cut the electricity, burn down nearly half the garden and may have told Jimmy that the Tooth Fairy isn't real.
7 Is it round to eat pizza whiles doing this will. I guess not... Hmmmmm, I love Dominoes. This is way better than visiting my grandchildren.
8 So here's what I want you to do with my corpse. Go to the mountain of Fuji, kill a couple of monks and put the robe on me. Why? Well I did wanted to be a monk although, my nice hair would be gone.
9 If you're wandering what's in the box, let me put The Lonely Island song to explain it better. And if there is kids in the room, cover your ears
10 If your hearing this, I am dead but if it's from someone but my family... Uhhhhh, hi! Just popping by to say hi. We could be friends but you know, I'm dead. Sorry!

The Contenders

11 Here's my Viagra
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