Top Ten Awkwardly Dumbfounded Things for a Candidate to Say On an Election Debate
Primal instinct is adviced because I know nothing about politics.The Top Ten
1 STOP! You have unpoliticalness in your legs, therefore you can't speak for the rest of the debate. Unless you wear basketball shorts.
Yes, Mr. Cameron, we want to see you look as ridiculous as your policies!
2 *clears throat* Right, I don't why I cleared my throat but bare with me here. Our pie charts contains all of the pieces I've ate. And yes, I did clear my throat because of it.
Sounds like Eric Pickles.
3 For healthcare issues, we must come forth with a policy I like to call, Live In a Ranch. Which is an acronym for L.I.A.R. which is a cue for me for the cameras to cut and run out off the room right now.
4 For this demonstration, I've got a penguin right here to feed him some fish. The fish will be like McDonald's but only problem is because..., well, it's a penguin and they don't eat burgers.
5 Before I can complete my point, let me just give you all a question and this is the most important of all.... Can you please boost this seat up? I'm trying to look taller.
6 The economical crisis was within the over population of the polar bears and global warming was me, it was to kill all polar bears to stabalize the currency.
7 Sir, you may think I'm a pedophile but I swear to God I thought it was a midget. And even if I did it on purpose, it was only once. The opposing side once told me he touches baby calfs in front of the mother cow.
But never mind that, I promise to do what's best for the country's adorable little kids.
8 Two eyes and a mouth... That's how much it will take to win this debate, I think... I didn't sign up for this.
9 The only way to get you guys to vote for me is to do the five little piggy story. This little piggy went to the office and the other one just ate pies... The three piggies was the pie.
10 Don't listen to what that person is spewing out. Do you want to listen to me, a person who only eats Halal meat on a Sunday or a person who puts ketchup on their tainted chips?
Who in this country would vote for a foreigner?!?!
The Contenders
11 I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.
12 Let's build a wall!
So cool that they have started construction on it now.
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