Bad Things to Say to a Widow
Has a person lost their loved one? Would you console them, or would you say one of these?The Top Ten
1 Do you want to do it with me now that he's gone?
That's horrible! Not even a killer would say that!
2 Look on the bright side. You can now cheat on him without any trouble!
Reminds me of Bleak Expectations. When Pip married his second wife, he asked his first if she minded. She was dead, so he assumed she was OK. Then he finally buried her.
3 Well, at least he died in a funny pose. *chuckles*
4 Well, at least he's not hogging the TV anymore.
5 Sorry for your loss. Now who's going to annoy you with excessive snoring?
6 I'm sure his troubles are over as much as yours.
7 Don't worry, there are hundreds of guys on eHarmony messaging you, some with entire paragraphs on your boobs!
8 So sorry that he left no suicide note.
9 He's gone to a better place. *pulls out gun* Want to join him?
10 He's at peace. At peace from your constant nagging! BOOM, baby!
The Contenders
11 He was a great man. Well, he would have been if HE HADN'T DIED BEFORE RETURNING MY LAWNMOWER!
12 Want to cremate the smelly socks in his drawer? As a gift for the afterlife or somethin'?
13 Let's wait for Satan's confirmation of delivery together.
14 At least now you can drink all the beer in his fridge!
15 I think I left my iPod in his car.
16 Your husband was a bad man.
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