Swellow Rants - Birthday Song

Swellow
(MY ORIGINAL VERSION GOT TAKEN DOWN, THIS IS THE REWRITE)

What can I say about 2 Chainz? Nothing. He's one of the worst rappers I've ever heard in my life, making people like Meek Mill look like the next Eazy-E, the entirety of Rae Sremmurd look like N.W.A., and modern day Lil Wayne look like Tupac. Nothing has come good out of his "music" (shouldn't be CALLED music), but I only started to realize this when I listened to another piece of brag-rap garbage; Based on a T.R.U. Story, which made me realize how bad he truly was. But what's the worst song of the album? By a mile, it's the most infamous; BIRTHDAY SONG.

OK, the worst song I've heard with the title of "Birthday" in it is definitely Birthday Cake by Rihanna, where she wastes her talent by bringing along the same man that beat her to a pulp, Chris Brown, alongside here, but this is a close contender for that category. How about we start off with the beat--- Oh wait, there is no beat, it's electronic garbage mixed together with creepy synths that block off his vocals, but that's somewhat good, mainly because his vocals sound as if he was half drunk at a party, or that he tried to deepen his voice using autotune, but accidentally clicked on the wrong button. But the lyrics are even worse than both the beat and vocals; IT'S EVERY BAD RAP SONG ABOUT LUXURY MERGED INTO ONE PIECE OF GARBAGE. At least Birthday Cake didn't have luxury brag. Let's start with the worst lyrics;

So first, we go with lyrics like "When I die, bury me inside the [high end clothing] store/club, all I want for my birthday is a big girl"... wow. You're so pitiful of a rapper that you want to have your corpse laid to rest inside a store? But you move onto the lyrics where he sounds like he doesn't frankly care, like "We in Kanye West's Benz, cause I'll turn ya back into a pedestrian". However, we reach the worst lyric of the entire song:

"She's gotta big booty, so I call her "Big Booty"" Oh, my, gosh. Are you even more of a pitiful excuse of a rapper that you call girls by the size of their behinds? Oh my god, you're just trying to tick me off, aren't you. But we also have another bad one;

"Deuce and Ye, we like Snoop and Dre" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no... but really, if two rappers so bad compare themselves to two decent rappers of the 90s (while Snoop is no longer good, he was great in the 90s), then they can burn in a fire.

This garbage deserves a -5/10. Do not listen to 2 Chainz, please don't, I needed an Aspirin after listening to this piece of bull.

Comments

Why was it taken down? - Martinglez

Unsure, but I believe it was because the word "h**" was left uncensored. - Swellow

Oh - Martinglez

2 Chainz is bad but at least he's funny - bobbythebrony

To me, it's funny how he tries so hard with lyrics, but makes them look like terrifyingly awful.
E.g. "2Pac without a nose ring" - Swellow

I wouldn't say he's worse than Rae Sremmurd, he at least looks decent compared to someone else (Jason DeRĂ¼lo on Talk Dirty). Otherwise, spot on. - WonkeyDude98

They're both on "SH*T TIER" in my book. - Swellow

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