Best Blonde Jokes!

List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs!

The Top Ten

1 How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them. - EmptyShadow

good!

V 31 Comments
2 How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?

Her tampon's behind her ear and she can�t find her pencil.

That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.

If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen

She keeps whining... No wait blounds do that no matter what

V 6 Comments
3 How did the blonde die at the baseball game?

She drowned during the wave.

It's the funniest joke ever laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

I don't think you're supposed to type 'laugh out loud' in full just put lol - pjo

She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion. - kaitlynrad11

haha

V 11 Comments
4 How did the blonde get past kindergarten?

She walked past the kindergarten classroom.

She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten

That's not even good

She annoyed the only teacher so much that she quit.

V 9 Comments
5 How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?

Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides

My cousin did this to my sister you think someone older would understand the joke instead of falling for it

Tell her to tell if your animal is a sheep or a dog

Give her a rubix cube with all sides painted grey and show what a solved rubix cube looks like.

V 14 Comments
6 What do you call a smart blonde?

What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...

Classic, but insulting to dogs. ;) I'm blonde myself and got that! Do I get a cookie? - Oreanta

Being a blonde myself I find them VERY funny-seem to ring a bell

A showoff. - naFrovivuS

V 20 Comments
7 Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?

Because she kept throwing out the w's

Laugh out loud! I love this one. - funnyuser

Because she threw out all the w's

Hilarious - kaisietoo

V 5 Comments
8 Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?

Because they have blonde boyfriends

I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee

Not bad but not great

O.K. I�m Blonde and I got That laugh out loud

9 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.

The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".

That was funny I totally laughed at that one I'm not a blond

I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

Lmas it's so hilarious

V 1 Comment
10 Why do blondes go to church?

To learn about God

Because they think their pretty

They hail the pillars!

Because they heard there was a naked man hanging around

The Newcomers

? What do call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant - westofohio

? What do a blonde and the Bermuda triangle have in common?

They both have swallowed a lot of semen/sea men. - westofohio

The Contenders

11 How do you drown a blonde?

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool... - heather

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Tell her you're going to race her to the ocean floor, and never start. - Turkeyasylum

V 7 Comments
12 How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back

Tell her not to faall

Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off

Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

V 1 Comment
13 What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?

A bunch of doughnut seeds!
Haha
I'm a brunet

The blonde gasps then says, Bagels?

She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

Wow I think she said... Are those my glasses

V 3 Comments
14 How are a blonde and a UFO the same?

Its supposed to say "how are a smart blonde and a ufo the same" and the answer would be that you keep hearing about them but never see them

Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

This is website it funny and I'm a blonde

Blondes are not as smart as redheads and UFOs are even smarter

V 3 Comments
15 How did the blonde commit suicide?

She put all her clothes in a pile and jumped off

She brought her hair dryer into her tub.

By sticking a fork in a toaster to get the toast out

She tried throwing a boomerang, but it came back to her. - naFrovivuS

V 5 Comments
16 What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?

Love at first sight

A hopeless romantic without the romantic part

I don't know, but obviously her boyfriend is her mirror...

The real question is, how does the boyfriend get out of it? - naFrovivuS

V 6 Comments
17 What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?

Artificial Intelligence...laugh out loud :-)

Well obviously she would be absolutely smart

Shouldn't dies be dyes her hair must be a dumb blonde wrote this joke.

Master of Disguise. - naFrovivuS

V 3 Comments
18 What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot

There has been bigfoot sightings

Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.

Bigfoot is uglier but smarter

19 What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell she's got a grenade in her mouth

Well I would run because stupid probably has a grenade in her mouth

Ah that was so good

Run - naFrovivuS

20 A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?

The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.

The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed

The fairy, the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Depends, is the tooth fairy also blonde? - naFrovivuS

V 5 Comments
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List Stats

2,000 votes
80 listings
11 years, 233 days old

Top Remixes (7)

1. How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
2. How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
samantha34
1. How do you drown a blonde?
2. What is the blonde skeleton in the closet?
3. How to keep stupid guy or girl (blonde) excited?
ssserkku
1. What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?
2. How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
Blondjokes101

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