Best Blonde Jokes

List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs!

The Top Ten

1 How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them.

Put her in front of mirror so she has someone to talk to.

2 How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?

Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.

If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen

She had 10 pounds of make up under her limits.

3 How did the blonde die at the baseball game?

She drowned during the wave.

It's the funniest joke ever laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

I don't think you're supposed to type 'laugh out loud' in full just put lol

She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion.

I tots like this one my fave!

4 How did the blonde get past kindergarten?

She walked past the kindergarten classroom.

She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten

That's not even good

She didn't,she just walked past the classroom

5 What do you call a smart blonde?

What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...

Classic, but insulting to dogs. ;) I'm blonde myself and got that! Do I get a cookie?

Being a blonde myself I find them VERY funny-seem to ring a bell

That's kinda stereotypical because my friend is a blonde and she is one of the smartest kids in class.

6 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.

The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".

I bet you $10 that the blonde is the reason they're running from the cops.

That was funny I totally laughed at that one I'm not a blond

I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

7 How are a blonde and a UFO the same?

Its supposed to say "how are a smart blonde and a ufo the same" and the answer would be that you keep hearing about them but never see them

Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

This is website it funny and I'm a blonde

Blondes are not as smart as redheads and UFOs are even smarter

8 What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot

There has been bigfoot sightings

Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.

Bigfoot is uglier but smarter

9 Two blondes were walking through the forest and they came upon a set of tracks. They began to argue about what animal had left the tracks. Ten minutes later, they were hit by a train.

I'm a blonde and I totally got it! That's something I would totally do!

Ha me and my sister rofled for like 20 mins haha she never laughs :LL LAWL
Bu we spent 5mins trying to get that joke :L hahahaa BLONDES!

Never heart this one before. This was the only one in the top ten that actually made me laugh.

This is a classic Blonde Joke love it I'm a Blonde myself

10 How do you drown a blonde?

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool...

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Tell her you're going to race her to the ocean floor, and never start.

The Contenders

11 How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?

Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides

My cousin did this to my sister you think someone older would understand the joke instead of falling for it

Tell her to tell if your animal is a sheep or a dog

Tell her this joke and that'll do the trick, if you don't get it, you're blonde, and the answer is she was trying to figure it out.

12 How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back

Tell her not to faall

Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off

Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

13 Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?

Because they have blonde boyfriends

I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee

Not bad but not great

O.K. I'm Blonde and I got That laugh out loud

14 How did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

She got cold and turned the fan off!

That's good and I'm a blonde

She asked the pilot if she could try and fly. The pilot said yes.

Took me awhile to figure out!

15 What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?

Love at first sight

A hopeless romantic without the romantic part

I don't know, but obviously her boyfriend is her mirror...

The real question is, how does the boyfriend get out of it?

16 What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?

Artificial Intelligence...laugh out loud :-)

Shouldn't dies be dyes her hair must be a dumb blonde wrote this joke.

Well obviously she would be absolutely smart

A dirty blond girl

17 What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?

A bunch of doughnut seeds!
I'm a brunet

The blonde gasps then says, Bagels?

She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

Wow I think she said... Are those my glasses

18 A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?

The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.

The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed

The tooth faith of course! Smart blondes don't exist!

The fairy, the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

19 Why do blondes go to church?

To learn about God

Because they found Jesus cute

Because they think their pretty

They hail the pillars!

20 How can you tell a blonde in school?

She erases her to notebook when the teacher erases the board

Yea I do that all the time

21 Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?

Because she kept throwing out the w's

Laugh out loud! I love this one.

Because she threw out all the w's

Because she stuck them on upside down

22 Why did the blonde on her way to Disney World never arrive?

She saw the sign DISNEY WORLD LEFT, so she turned around and went home.

Laugh out loud! I'm a blonde too!

I've been to Disney world 6 times thank you very much.
And I'm blonde.
But this is funny.

23 What does a blonde do when she is horny?

She cuts off a deer's antlers and glues them to her head

Pokes you like a hornet.

Say, "I'm a unicorn! "

24 What do you get when you put a bunch of blondes in the freezer?

You get flavorless popcicles

Elsa from frozen?


Not a brainfreeze... Blondes have no brains­čśé

25 What happened when the blonde tried to commit suicide?

She killed her twin sister by mistake!

Snort! Good one! Laugh out loud! I'm telling Catlin this, and she'll never regret it that bacon pig! SNORT ha! I love jokes

She couldn't figure out how to trigger the gun.

She's alive and well

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