The Twelve Day's of Reviewmas: Day 5 (Part 1) Twisted Christmas by Bob Rivers

christangrant Welcome to day 5 of The Twelve Day's of Reviewmas in today's episode i will be reviewing 2 albums today both of them are by Bob Rivers. The reason i chose to review both of these albums today is that both of these albums came together in a box set and these two albums are the best albums that Bob Rivers ever made. so anyway since there is 2 albums there will be two ratings for both albums separately so anyway on to the album info for Twisted Christmas

Twisted Christmas (Not to be confused with A Twisted Christmas by Twisted Sister) was an album released by Bob Rivers in 1988. Twisted Christmas is a humorous Christmas album It is the first in a line of Christmas-themed parody albums from Rivers, with later entries including I Am Santa Claus, More Twisted Christmas, Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire, and White Trash Christmas.
Now let's get on to the songs.

Track 1: The Twelve Pains of Christmas (Parody of The Twelve Day's of Christmas)

Haha this song is very funny because it's so true some of the twelve pains of Christmas include finding a Christmas tree, putting up Christmas lights, 5 months of bills, In-Laws, sending Christmas cards, finding parking spaces, hangovers, screaming kids, batteries not included with a toy and singing Christmas carols. and some others i didn't mention but anyway this is a hilarious track that will give you a good laugh this is my favorite song from this album because it's the funniest one.
Rating 10/10

Track 2: The Chimney Song

This song is about a kid (or possibly an impersonator) who sings about how Santa Claus got stuck in his chimney and he is stuck there for months once again another really funny song.
Rating 10/10

Track 3: We Wish You Weren't Living With Us (Parody of We Wish You A Merry Christmas)

Haha this is a great parody it's about how relatives overstay their visit becoming a nuisance to the host and drive everyone crazy and how how they are just fat and lazy and just eats all of their food and it's still sung just like the Christmas carol another greta laugh this track is.
Rating 10/10

Track 4: Wreck the Malls (Parody of Deck the Halls)

Now here's a parody of Deck the Halls but done in the style of Glam Rock from the 80s and the song is about excessive Christmas shopping and how you wreck the malls and take all their stuff while making your checkbook have 0 money in it and also a lyric about pulling down your pants and mooning the mall Santa this track is a good laugh and it does the Glam style spot on.
Rating 10/10

Track 5: A Visit from St. Nicholson (Parody of A Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clark Moore)

This is a spoken word song about the actor Jack Nicholson and he satirizes his frequent appearances at Los Angles Lakers games and his movies where he portraying disturbed maniac this is a funny song especially if you know about Jack Nicholson in which Bob Rivers does a good impersonation of him in this.
Rating 10/10

Track 6: O Come All Ye Grateful Dead -Heads (Parody of O Come, All Ye Faithful)

This song is about the phenomenon of Deadheads which according to Wikipedia Deadhead or Dead Head is a name given to fans of the American psychedelic rock band the Grateful Dead. In the 1970s, a number of fans began travelling to see the band in as many shows or festival venues as they could. With large numbers of people thus attending strings of shows, a community developed. Deadheads developed their own idioms and slang. Well the saying you learn something everyday is true because i just did but anyway this song is a good parody but it's the weakest song out of the bunch here.
Rating 8/10

Track 7: I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out on Parole) (Parody of It's Beginning to Look A lot like Christmas)

Now this song is preformed in the Western-swing style and it's pretty funny because of what it's about.
Rating 10/10

Track 8: The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen" (Parody of God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen)

So this Parody is sung by an all-male a cappella chorus. The song is about how someone apparently switched the Men and Ladies signs of the restroom and thus a funny song ensues about how a man walks into women's restroom and heard high screaming and runs into a old hag who hits him with her bag.
Rating 10/10

Track 9: Foreigners (Parody of Angels We Have Heard on High)

Well this song is something it's about Highly Stereotyped Russian, Mexican and Italian immigrants describe their experiences in the United States of America and of course the stereotypes are really funny.
Track 10/10

Track 10: Joy to the World

This is a Hard Rock instrumental version of the classic Christmas song and it's very good.

Track 11: A Message from the King

This spoken word track is spoken by an Elvis Impersonator who claims to be speaking from Rock and Roll Heaven, I love Elvis impersonations because it's such an iconic voice and of course he's eating food and everytime he says thank you he says "Thank You, Thank You Very Much" which is something every Elvis impersonator does.
Rating 10/10

So now with all the songs for this album done i'll add up all the tracks

10(x10) + 8 = 108 - 10 = 98

Album Rating 98/100

While not perfect it sure is a good laugh especially the song the Twelve Pains of Christmas for anyone who loves comedy and love Christmas this album is for you and also if you want a good laugh listen to this album and now on to I Am Santa Claus. which will be posted in another post because i couldn't post them both in one post


I do love the albums you've been reviewing for several days. I like your choices and agree with your ratings.
My favorite song on this album is The Twelve Pains of Christmas. Highly entertaining.
Highly recommended. - Metal_Treasure