Best Chuck Norris Facts

The Contenders: Page 3

41 Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter, he roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out!
42 Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. V 1 Comment
43 Kids go to sleep with a teddy bear. Chuck Norris goes to sleep with an actual bear.

I believe this fact to be true but don't forget about the other deadly animals at the bottom of his bed

He went to sleep with a teddy bear as well. Probably TED the teddy bear who curses a lot. - AlphaQ

He goes to bed with paddington after he kidnapped him from the brown family - Harri666

V 1 Comment
44 Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death...he wins fair and square.

Which should be EVERYONE'S goals. - Metalhead1997

45 God said "let there be light", Chuck Norris said "say please"

That's the best in my opinion

Dying of laughter right now, I'm honored to be one of Chuck's victims - EliHbk

So is Chuck Norris God's father? - Metalhead1997

Aww, Died of laughter! Simply funny! - Animefan12

V 2 Comments
46 Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
47 Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
48 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the Earth, and it never stopped spinning.

Thanks to Chuck Norris, Indian cities began receiving sunlight! - Animefan12

This one made me laugh out loud I'm suprised it's not in the top 10

49 Chuck Norris can not fly he jumps in the air and chooses to come down
50 All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
51 Chuck Norris makes onions cry

Too funny :P
Onions crying lol. This should be number one!
Lol who started this chuck norris stuff. He is the best

V 1 Comment
52 Chuck Norris owns a large private estate in the middle of the Atlantic. We know this as the Bermuda Triangle. Chuck Norris does NOT tolerate visitors.

He has so many pets, too! - Metalhead1997

This is so true!

53 Chuck Norris has a stunt double for crying scenes.

Excellent this one is pretty fresh.

Space holder cushion words

This is very clever and funny. :3
You'd think he'd have a stunt double for dieing. Laugh out loud I love the joke.

V 2 Comments
54 Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat, because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

That explains a lot. I knew the history books lied.

Well, that's nice of her...
I'd say Chuck threatened her but he knows that's not needed - EliHbk

55 Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Laugh out loud ultimately amazing this one should be moved way up the ranks

Just imagine if Chuck Norris really exists with all these abilities? - Animefan12

56 Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the s*** out of it.

The best... I mean don't you people see it? This is the absolute best...

Wow! The jokes at the bottom of this list is better than the top ones. - Animefan12

57 Once Chuck Norris masturbated in a house... now it's called The White House

Imagine him doing that in a CITY. - Metalhead1997

This is hilarious

This is really funny
I wonder why it's not in the top 10's
Come on guys!

58 Chuck Norris clogs the toilet every time he pisses.

This one REALLY took the cake!
Just as the underestimated: "Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun".

yeah pretty much the best chuck norris joke.

at least that I've seen in a while.

Hahahhahahahah! I lol'd SO hard! That's not possible! p.s. I'm not stupid. - Jammer196

My fiend clogs the toilet every time he lets loose a pie!
Tru' that'!

V 5 Comments
59 In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

they don't even need to, that's obvious.

comment quality for chuck norris is allways excelent I bet(given that it can only reach good)... :(

60 When Chuck Norris watches a chick flick it is considered manly
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Top Remixes (34)

1. There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control
2. Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.
3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
1. Chuck Norris converted God to atheism
2. Chuck Norris Can Do a Wheelie On a Unicycle
3. All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
1. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
2. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
3. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.

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