Best Chuck Norris Facts

The Contenders: Page 4

61 Chuck Norris and Superman had a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

I seen this fight Chuck won easily

62 Chuck Norris clogs the toilet every time he pisses.

This one REALLY took the cake!
Just as the underestimated: "Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun".

yeah pretty much the best chuck norris joke.

at least that I've seen in a while.

Hahahhahahahah! I lol'd SO hard! That's not possible! p.s. I'm not stupid. - Jammer196

My fiend clogs the toilet every time he lets loose a pie!
Tru' that'!
I'm so EXCITED!

V 5 Comments
63 In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

they don't even need to, that's obvious.

comment quality for chuck norris is allways excelent I bet(given that it can only reach good)... :(

64 When Chuck Norris watches a chick flick it is considered manly
65 Superman goes to meet Chuck Norris each year on Teacher's Day

This one was awesome. Really made me laugh. And all these years I thought superman didn't need a teacher!

This one is really nice. Superb! - Kiteretsunu

66 When Chuck Norris was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never spank Chuck Norris!

To me this is just a classic - it's one of the only decent ones that doesn't just keep talking about his roundhouse kicks. I'm surprised it hasn't shown up on the list yet! - cyclone1248

This is one the best ones here. The only one which has some decent humor. This should go higher up. - Kiteretsunu

67 Chuck Norris can stare at the sun and the sun goes blind

Yeah, his eyes reflect UV Rays, right! - Animefan12

It's weirid, atfer I readed that, I went to check the sun, and he was using sunglases

68 Jack was nimble, Jack was quick but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

Good poem. Chuck Norris would be proud of this. - Kiteretsunu

This is amazing because jack is quick and lol

69 Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
70 Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
71 When Chuck Norris burps weather.com issues an alert

Come on guys, this has to be in the top 10! - Animefan12

72 Chuck Norris can dislike something on Facebook.

Haha Best one yet. I was just looking through all of them not sure What I should vote for and I found this. Haha. Maybe it's because I'm addicted to facebook but I voted for it!

There should be a dislike button on Facebook! YouTube has one! - Metalhead1997

73 Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris is the best! I was quietly reading the list and once I've got here it took a few sec until I got it but than laugh out loud

This one is actually really creative! - NerdyPweeps

74 Chuck Norris doesn't use dental floss he uses barbed wire.

Imagine the sheer lacerations someone else would get. - Metalhead1997

This is original and its one of the best I've seen!

75 When ghosts go camping, they sit around a camp fire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
76 According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
77 Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away

By just barely blowing on it. - Metalhead1997

78 Superman wears Chuck Norris boxers
79 Chuck Norris had a part in Star Wars. He was the force.

The first to actually make me laugh out loud, haha

He was omnipresent! - Metalhead1997

80 Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.
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Top Remixes (35)

1. There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control
2. Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.
3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
cyclone1248
1. Chuck Norris converted God to atheism
2. Chuck Norris Can Do a Wheelie On a Unicycle
3. All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
ThatOneRacer
1. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
2. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
3. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.
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