Best Chuck Norris Facts

The Contenders: Page 5

81 If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

It is a cool joke, but I can't understand it. - Animefan12

awesome!

82 There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
83 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

This joke is superb! Must be higher! - Animefan12

V 3 Comments
84 Chuck Norris once dropped a pebble. That was the day the dinosaurs went extinct.

He is surely a superior guy! - Animefan12

Kryo?! You have some competition here! - Metalhead1997

85 Chuck Norris asked the chicken to cross the road

I though the road crosses Chuck Norris!

86 Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. V 1 Comment
87 Zombies only exist to clean up after Chuck Norris V 1 Comment
88 Chuck Norris kicks the Down syndrome right out of kids

Actually somewhat offensive... - Metalhead1997

This one is just horrible

89 God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said say please.
90 Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

LAUGHED SO HARD! Wonder how often that happens though

ROFL! This is the one I laughed at the hardest, didn't expect such a thing, very funny...

Lmao! I want to meet Chuck Norris

Because he...?! - Metalhead1997

91 Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.

... This really needs to be in the top 5 really

92 The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

I don't know why but after all of the others this is the first one that made me laugh aloud. I've never heard it. - TheCamoGhost

93 Iron Maiden have a fear of the dark, but the dark has a fear of Chuck Norris.

Hilarious! I think Chuck Norris jokes are funny and I love Iron Maiden so this was the perfect one for me!

And Chuck Norris has a fear of Iron Maiden! - Animefan12

94 Chuck Norris can dislike something on Facebook.

Haha Best one yet. I was just looking through all of them not sure What I should vote for and I found this. Haha. Maybe it's because I'm addicted to facebook but I voted for it!

There should be a dislike button on Facebook! YouTube has one! - Metalhead1997

95 Chuck Norris sleeps once a year (September 11)

Okay, this is pretty apathetic towards everyone who experienced 9/11 or knew someone who died. - Metalhead1997

Screw Chuck - EliHbk

96 Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Not while Her Majesty is still sitting on the throne, he can't... - Britgirl

This I believe should be higher simply because it's clever, compared to most of the comments above

97 The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
98 Chuck Norris is the reason why the chicken crossed the road.

LMFAO! This one should REALLY be moved up the ranks, I laughed so hard!

Laugh out loud. Enough said.

99 Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

The answer to the question everyone has been asking! Should be higher up the list!

100 Chuck Norris once gave blood. The next day the blood was used on a group of people and now they are known as the X-Men.

I thought Chuck Norris doesn't donate his own blood.

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List StatsUpdated 26 Sep 2017

8,000 votes
497 listings
10 years, 12 days old

Top Remixes (34)

1. There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control
2. Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.
3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
cyclone1248
1. Chuck Norris converted God to atheism
2. Chuck Norris Can Do a Wheelie On a Unicycle
3. All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
ThatOneRacer
1. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
2. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
3. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.
Xoxo1

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