Best Chuck Norris Facts

The Contenders: Page 5

81 People call 911, 911 calls Chuck Norris

This should be way higher, I literally ROFLed at this quite hard

What does Chuck Norris call?

82 If you stare at an American flag long enough, a 3D image of Chuck Norris will appear.

How long is long enough? I'm guessing long enough is Chuck Norris in this case. - Metalhead1997

Time to buy a American flag

83 Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
84 Chuck Norris never ages. Each year is just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.

Wow that I amazing :D

85 If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

It is a cool joke, but I can't understand it. - Animefan12


86 Chuck Norris can drown a fish. V 1 Comment
87 There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
88 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

This joke is superb! Must be higher! - Animefan12

V 3 Comments
89 Chuck Norris once dropped a pebble. That was the day the dinosaurs went extinct.

He is surely a superior guy! - Animefan12

Kryo?! You have some competition here! - Metalhead1997

90 Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. V 1 Comment
91 Chuck Norris asked the chicken to cross the road

I though the road crosses Chuck Norris!

92 Chuck Norris can describe the taste of water
93 Chuck Norris kicks the Down syndrome right out of kids

Actually somewhat offensive... - Metalhead1997

This one is just horrible

94 God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said say please.
95 Zombies only exist to clean up after Chuck Norris V 1 Comment
96 Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

LAUGHED SO HARD! Wonder how often that happens though

ROFL! This is the one I laughed at the hardest, didn't expect such a thing, very funny...

Lmao! I want to meet Chuck Norris

Because he...?! - Metalhead1997

97 Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.

... This really needs to be in the top 5 really

98 The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

I don't know why but after all of the others this is the first one that made me laugh aloud. I've never heard it. - TheCamoGhost

99 Iron Maiden have a fear of the dark, but the dark has a fear of Chuck Norris.

Hilarious! I think Chuck Norris jokes are funny and I love Iron Maiden so this was the perfect one for me!

And Chuck Norris has a fear of Iron Maiden! - Animefan12

100 Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Not while Her Majesty is still sitting on the throne, he can't... - Britgirl

This I believe should be higher simply because it's clever, compared to most of the comments above

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Top Remixes (35)

1. There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control
2. Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.
3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
1. Chuck Norris converted God to atheism
2. Chuck Norris Can Do a Wheelie On a Unicycle
3. All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
1. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
2. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
3. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.

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