Best Disses Ever

cleverclogs0
Here are very good disses and insults, hope you like them.

The Top Ten

1 Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.

Another bad insult, but I suggest you use it for critical situations as this insult could hurt emotions badly. - cleverclogs0

This is a great Dis I used it on all of my friends and they laughed there heads off and I said it to my cousin and he got so mad and started crying because he thought his mum was very sad and his mum was actually laughing about how stupid he was being because he said Oy don't insult my mum you idiot your so mean and went off in a huff. Laugh out loud this is useful.

Everyone know that diss is old but still it's really cool

Brush Mad one I used it on my friend and he almost cried but I told him I was joking

V 437 Comments
2 Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.

Very creative joke and it's funny. Nice Job.

This diss was amazing, I've used it countless times and it worked, and it has never failed me. Also used it on my sister and she didn't bother me for weeks :D

I said that to my brother and he cried! I was laughing at this joke for so long!

Lol

V 245 Comments
3 When yo mama jumps, she makes earthquakes. When yo mama breathes, she makes tornadoes. When yo mama swims, she makes tsunamis. When yo mama dies, she makes happiness.

This epic 1 I'm definitely gonna use this 1

Cool I'm using that laugh out loud

AMAZING! WHY ISN'T THIS number 1!

I thought of this one, and it’s actually here! πŸ‘πŸ˜…

V 306 Comments
4 Do aliens exist? Wait that's a stupid question, I'm looking at one right now.

Oh, my. That's good. But I don't know... I like the others as well. TOO LATE I VOTED FOR THIS ONE! I like this one. Who told you this?
Yes, I did just call you that. I hope you're glad. JK, JK, JK. I don't wanna get a thumbs down. This is just a way to defend yourself. Sort of.

I hope this insult would help you win your dissing contest - cleverclogs0

I'm going to try that on my friend. We diss each other a lot, and he always gets fake mad, then I have to say sorry, otherwise he won't talk to me.

Nice one

V 269 Comments
5 You could be very useful in the army; your face kills faster than any gun or bomb.

A very bad insult, I hope you like it. - cleverclogs0

This was so funny I fell and couldn't stop laughing

This totally needs to be number 1 in high school disses like these would put people into SHAME. They wouldn't dare mess with you, AGAIN. And I should know 'because I'm a star disser

so good

V 424 Comments
6 Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.

Made me laugh out loud for ages. The diss is a masterpiece. The person who made it is a genius he should be master of disses. If there was a diss contest he would be crowned king of all disses. When I grow up I want to be a genius like him.
Peace out.

I totally used this one with my friend. The green and purple part is really original, though. Hm. Gotta try this on another person who thinks his teeth look good

An obnoxious diss! - cleverclogs0

This doesn't make sense and you say the diss you are so bored with. Your life cause we are reading this I will never use or read these disses

Damn

V 179 Comments
7 You're so fat that when you jumped into the Atlantic Ocean, it turned into the Atlantic Desert!

A cool diss - cleverclogs0

Dude this I great used it on some annoying guy and he hasn't bothered me since

Hahah that's jokes, I'm gonna use it on someone!

That dis is the best one I ever told I got sent to the principals office

V 119 Comments
8 You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

This is so cool. I used this on the meanest kid in my class and his never teased me again

Nice laugh out loud why isn't that #1

The thing is... The person's (who you are dissing) friend could say: Yeah, she was, that's why she's on the fast lane.

Cool I used it

, I was in hysterics

V 231 Comments
9 Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

A very good insult. - cleverclogs0

I've personally never heard this one but it's so funny!

I told that to someone who was so annoying that they stop talking to me, and I also tried other ones too and it worked so thanks.

Big but empty.LOL

V 96 Comments
10 You're so ugly when your mum picked you up from school and dropped you at home, she got arrested for littering.

This is the best diss I have ever heard in my life. Who ever wrote this is a genius. In fact the truth is I am the one who wrote this awesome diss. Like I said. Best diss ever. Later

I'm SO using this one!
Dang that's a really funny/good one!

I served him so high his friends laughed at him (: thanks to the person who did this jokes best jokes ever

I need to say these to people when the piss me off

V 259 Comments

The Contenders

11 You're so poor when you invited me to dinner, there were 3 beans on a plate. I took one and you said "Oy! Don't be so greedy!"

You're so poor you eat cereal with a fork to save milk

Worst "unsmooth" joke ever. If you told this to me I would just laugh in your face and it would not be because of the joke!

Here's one your breath smells so bad that it's the main cause of global warming

gay

V 96 Comments
12 You're so fat when you walk past a window, we lose sun for four days.

Another cool diss - cleverclogs0

HAHA this is hilarious. It's a really good joke, would totally sting in a competition with the right timing and right attitude.

CLASSIC NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE

dis is sic

V 89 Comments
13 You're so ugly that Medusa didn't want to look at you because she thought you were a mirror and she didn't want to be turned to stone.

Got to use these

I'm definitely voting for this one! Funny laugh out loud! My sister peed her pants when she read this laugh out loud that's no joke

Your sister likely needs to have her urinary bladder checked by a medical professional. - BillTedman

A guy said this to me and I was lurk oh ya, then y are u not stone!

I think it is good because that a read it. if I didn't read it somebody would fart on me logic right?... Dora tried to explore the world, but when she saw your maaam she was like "nope dora is gonna stop exploring"

V 73 Comments
14 You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.

That so funny, I am laughing and my mum walked in and she asked what so I told her she peed her pants I am voting for you because you have the best one, my friends is obsessed with chicken too

Laugh out loud awesome diss definitely using this one

This is an awesome diss really good to use in a dissing competition

lol

V 164 Comments
15 What died on your neck? Oh - it's your head.

Horribly mean... But funny. Just be careful how you use this one. Love, Not Hate

Great joke! By the way it's hate not love you got it mixed up

I love it! I'm definitely using this one, I mean laugh out loud!

what

V 58 Comments
16 You are so poor that you run after a garbage truck with a shopping list.

I took my time looking at what diss was the best but this is seriously underrated. So funny, should be number one.

Ohh I can't wait to use it on a boy in my class

Laugh out loud totally usin this

So deep

V 163 Comments
17 You're so poor even African people made you a charity.

YOU ass not every one is poor in Africa there are people in my country (South Africa) that you wish you were get your common knowledge up!

I think the world is showing the bad side of Africa I live in South Africa and it's a beautiful place were people have jobs, and you can find people richer than the creator of this joke! It's not only South Africa every country in Africa is not really struggling you know! Stop treating Africa as some charity case!

This is just rude. There are lots of poor people around the world. why do you have to use Africa

That is right Africa's people are probably richer than whoever wrote this

That is so rude are you rich yeah didn't think...fool

You are being a hater of African so what if they used her for charity

V 302 Comments
18 Your mum's so fat that when she went to sea, the whales came up and started singing "we are family".

Laugh out loud this is the ultimate number 1

Lool I heard diss one already

It means that your mum is so fat that when she went to the sea and she saw a whale the whale started to sing that we are a family

Yo mama so fat when you came out the sea with a yello top on someone shouted hey taxi

awesome

V 97 Comments
19 When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it

I'm gonna die if I see this again

This is not funny. A pathetic joke which can insult people but when you realised just what you said, you should take yourself as the worst person of the planet.

This joke is legit, totally!

Lol

V 27 Comments
20 Yo mama is so fat that people mistake her as another planet.

Is that it man that ain't funny

Is that it fam that is barley na ing come on you could do better didn't make me laugh at all

That was not funny man make another better one cause that one sucks as you.

That's a wonder ful joke

V 32 Comments
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List Stats

28,000 votes
1,207 listings
6 years, 139 days old

Top Remixes (36)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
mafia
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
ineeddisses123
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.
CriticalTaco

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