Best Disses Ever


The Contenders: Page 2

21 Yo mama is so stupid that she starved to death in the grocery store.

I think that a good diss

I have heard that 1 before but it still made me laugh.

Best diss ever I used it In a dissing competition and I ended up winning


V 37 Comments
22 You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave

If the spelling is incorrect please correct it but killer diss wow

This is awesome!

That's so funny! Who ever came up with this one is a genius!

Ish u r so lame man well u r the one who is stupid because u make jokes that r nt funny bhoo man dam

V 28 Comments
23 You're so fat when you're sitting around the house, you're really sitting AROUND the house!

So funny- I can't get over it laugh out loud

WOW how clever not. You well if your doing disses like this we might as well insult people using knock-knock jokes

I hope you get this one. - cleverclogs0


V 16 Comments
24 You're so ugly even Bob the Builder couldn't fix you.

Boy you thought your funny your sweet as honey

That is a swag dis

Your face is so ugly that if being ugly was a crime you would be the first one to get arrested


V 114 Comments
25 You're so ugly, you made Justin Bieber feel happy.

Laugh out loud! I HATE Justin Bieber!

Laugh out loud I hate Justin Bieber this put a smile to ma face ;)x

Everyone should really use this

I used this so funny

V 68 Comments
26 Your mom so poor she can't even afford to pay attention.

Wicked ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud I used this on a bully at school! He actually reported me laugh out loud

Haha that one caught me off guard.


V 43 Comments
27 You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime

It means you bought the phone service but sold your phone.

I don't get this

So funny I forgot to laugh

so cringe

V 17 Comments
28 You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.

I laughed for a long time. I told that to somone, and I got slapped, but eh, it's still funny

This is good. The guys at school shut afterwards

Very funny laugh out loud

This is actually so funny

V 53 Comments
29 You're so ugly that Hello Kitty said bye bye to you.

Holy crap, this is so awesome! Thank you so much for making my day! =D

Could also be: you're so ugly One Direction went the other direction

They are all cool

I think this is a good one because unlike the others,this diss only took me a few minutes to understand and I know what it means so I was laughing so hard on it

V 42 Comments
30 Yo mama so old, her breast milk is powder.

This just might be the lamest joke I have ever heard and by far the oldest joke... Dude get a life seriously...

This is older than your nana

You two have to respond


V 23 Comments
31 Yo mama is so fat that when she went into Wal-mart, she lowered the prices!

That one isn't that good

This one is rubbish

Rubbish worst I cood make abetter one than that

Bad and boring jee

V 42 Comments
32 Yo mama is so fat that when she went into the cinema, she sat next to everybody.

I don't get this its so wack

If you don't get this diss. It is basically trying to tell us that the mama couldn't find a seat which she could fit in, but she said on all the seats. That is how she sits next to everybody.

If everyone was sitting next to her and she was sitting on all the seats where did all the others sit? :-

good one

V 13 Comments
33 You're so fat you were mistaken as a new planet bigger than Jupiter

This is not funny

Accept your mama knowing her 12 times table she counting how many condoms she will use today

Not so funny I can make a better one here yo mama so dumb she stoped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go

I have a better one when your stuck in a hole that's the only one you can get

Lol, I love it.

V 19 Comments
34 Yo mama is so sweaty that she caused a tsunami.

Should of been "yo momma so sweaty she caused a flash flood

No that is jokes

Stupidest lamest joke ever


V 9 Comments
35 You're so fat, you have you own gravitational pull

Lol, good joke for a science class

Some of you need to learn your spelling and grammar

Lol that's the funniest thing I ever heard

Nice. good joke for an science nerd.

V 5 Comments
36 The only difference between you and a bucket of horse crap is the bucket

I was laughing so much my grandma thought I was crying

LOL I will use this on my friend and see how he responds

I could say this to everyone

Wow that is so funny...

V 12 Comments
37 Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

I love this diss but hear this one you are so ugly your mom put a pic of you and put on the gate and rote be awa of the dog

Wicked I used it on my friend and she backed out straight after

You lyf NYC one


V 389 Comments
38 You are so poor.

You are so poor I was on my way home from work and kicked a stone and just then your mom fell out saying who is knocking

This os the most stupidest joke I have ever heard! Get a life idiot

We'll this ain't a good one

Great diss 11/10

V 82 Comments
39 Your mom does not need the internet because she is already world wide.

Its ok but if your trying to be mean to the person why don't you say instead you don't need internet because your already world wide or something like that because it would be horrible to say something like that to there mum its not like you would like it

I made a guy cry like this but really its a little to mean and really don't recommend you using this except if your in a dire need of a good comeback or if you you just want to get the upper hand a a fight. It would be better if it was directed to th person who you were dissing or cussing (whichever one you prefer)

Nice sick, really ice!
I can say that to my haterz
Its somethings to get in someones face

vey funny

V 35 Comments
40 You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

Yo man listen to my cuss your so fat that when I was watching the titanic and you walked past I missed the whole thing

This was really funny

Said this to my mate, laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

These jokes are so good

V 33 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 22 Sep 2017

27,000 votes
1,207 listings
6 years, 78 days old

Top Remixes (35)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

View All 35


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