Best Disses Ever

Here are very good disses and insults, hope you like them.

The Contenders: Page 2

21 Yo mama is so stupid that she starved to death in the grocery store.

I think that a good diss

I have heard that 1 before but it still made me laugh.

Best diss ever I used it In a dissing competition and I ended up winning

Amzing such greatness I'm gonna cry NOICE - DissKid59

V 39 Comments
22 You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave

If the spelling is incorrect please correct it but killer diss wow

This is awesome!

That's so funny! Who ever came up with this one is a genius!


V 34 Comments
23 You're so fat when you're sitting around the house, you're really sitting AROUND the house!

So funny- I can't get over it laugh out loud

WOW how clever not. You well if your doing disses like this we might as well insult people using knock-knock jokes

I hope you get this one. - cleverclogs0

I will disses someone this

V 19 Comments
24 You're so ugly, you made Justin Bieber feel happy.

Laugh out loud! I HATE Justin Bieber!

Laugh out loud I hate Justin Bieber this put a smile to ma face ;)x

Everyone should really use this

I used this so funny

V 68 Comments
25 You're so ugly even Bob the Builder couldn't fix you.

Boy you thought your funny your sweet as honey

That is a swag dis

Your face is so ugly that if being ugly was a crime you would be the first one to get arrested

So funny

V 120 Comments
26 Your mom so poor she can't even afford to pay attention.

Wicked ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud I used this on a bully at school! He actually reported me laugh out loud

Haha that one caught me off guard.

Lol this was so funny I laughed so hard when I was in English class the I got my phone confiscateted

V 45 Comments
27 You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime

It means you bought the phone service but sold your phone.

I don't get this

So funny I forgot to laugh

so cringe

V 17 Comments
28 You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.

I laughed for a long time. I told that to somone, and I got slapped, but eh, it's still funny

This is good. The guys at school shut afterwards

Very funny laugh out loud

Very funny

V 57 Comments
29 You're so ugly that Hello Kitty said bye bye to you.

Holy crap, this is so awesome! Thank you so much for making my day! =D

Could also be: you're so ugly One Direction went the other direction

They are all cool

My brother actually made is up before we even saw it

V 46 Comments
30 Yo mama so old, her breast milk is powder.

This just might be the lamest joke I have ever heard and by far the oldest joke... Dude get a life seriously...

This is older than your nana

You two have to respond


V 23 Comments
31 Yo mama is so fat that when she went into Wal-mart, she lowered the prices!

That one isn't that good

This one is rubbish

Rubbish worst I cood make abetter one than that

Bad and boring jee

V 42 Comments
32 Yo mama is so fat that when she went into the cinema, she sat next to everybody.

I don't get this its so wack

If you don't get this diss. It is basically trying to tell us that the mama couldn't find a seat which she could fit in, but she said on all the seats. That is how she sits next to everybody.

If everyone was sitting next to her and she was sitting on all the seats where did all the others sit? :-

Ummm...I have a way better one man, Yo mama so fat that when she went past your window the whole fof earth didn't see the sun for days

V 16 Comments
33 You're so fat you were mistaken as a new planet bigger than Jupiter

This is not funny

Accept your mama knowing her 12 times table she counting how many condoms she will use today

Not so funny I can make a better one here yo mama so dumb she stoped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go

I have a better one when your stuck in a hole that's the only one you can get


V 22 Comments
34 Yo mama is so sweaty that she caused a tsunami.

Should of been "yo momma so sweaty she caused a flash flood

Stupidest lamest joke ever

No that is jokes

Is a really good cuss
I liked it

V 11 Comments
35 You're so fat, you have you own gravitational pull

Lol, good joke for a science class

Some of you need to learn your spelling and grammar

Lol that's the funniest thing I ever heard


V 6 Comments
36 The only difference between you and a bucket of horse crap is the bucket

I was laughing so much my grandma thought I was crying

Your so fat that when you were taking your passport picture it was still printing

LOL I will use this on my friend and see how he responds

Let love this one so much

V 20 Comments
37 You are so poor.

You are so poor I was on my way home from work and kicked a stone and just then your mom fell out saying who is knocking

This os the most stupidest joke I have ever heard! Get a life idiot

We'll this ain't a good one

Wow how the hell is this even a diss like really

V 86 Comments
38 Your mom does not need the internet because she is already world wide.

Its ok but if your trying to be mean to the person why don't you say instead you don't need internet because your already world wide or something like that because it would be horrible to say something like that to there mum its not like you would like it

I made a guy cry like this but really its a little to mean and really don't recommend you using this except if your in a dire need of a good comeback or if you you just want to get the upper hand a a fight. It would be better if it was directed to th person who you were dissing or cussing (whichever one you prefer)

Nice sick, really ice!
I can say that to my haterz
Its somethings to get in someones face


V 40 Comments
39 You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

Yo man listen to my cuss your so fat that when I was watching the titanic and you walked past I missed the whole thing

This was really funny

Said this to my mate, laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

dang boy

V 34 Comments
40 You so fake even China denied that they made you

Best good one

That is so funny

Lol hilarious

Ha ha

V 21 Comments
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Top Remixes (38)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

View All 38


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