Best Disses Ever


The Contenders: Page 3

41 Your lips are so dry whenever you drink milk, they go "snap, crackle, and pop."

That was nice I kno a lot of people with dry lips I could say that to lots of peeps I was laughing out loud (lo-l) it made me laugh a lot swear it is gonna be used on lots of people... Srry for the long note

I was eating cereal when I red this

I tried this on one of my friends and everyone was laughing you should try it it is amazing to do to other people my name is joshua and my brother keenan thanks

Oh my gosh that was so dumb.

V 26 Comments
42 You so fake even China denied that they made you

Best good one

That is so funny



V 17 Comments
43 You're so stupid you climbed over a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

Laugh out loud this is the funniest/dopiest diss ever and that's why I love it

Awesome diss used this on the school bully and he ran away bawling

I love this one. I am definitely going to have to use it

That is funny S-xT

V 14 Comments
44 You're so fat when you stepped on the scale it said "I want your weight, not your ID number."

That Is cool I'm gonna say it to someone

That's jokes blad the best one ever!

I rate this as #1

haha #1

V 27 Comments
45 You're so fat when you stepped on a scale, it said one at a time please!

It is really funny. It is really funny. I'll use it on a friend of mine and see what he thinks. I laughed at it really hard!

Classic dude really classic, I'm using that one

It's really funny. Il try it on my cousin see what he thinks

Nice but I think this is a bit old

V 32 Comments
46 You're so fat that if you put two cellphones in either side of your pocket and call the other one, it says "long distance."

Funniest joke ever I'm gonna use it

This is the only one that made me laugh others made me smile

My big sister said shew were it's funny!


V 21 Comments
47 You so ugly that your mom puts a picture of you on the fridge to scare away the flies

Lol so funny even my nan fort it was funny

Really funny

So going to burn the eighth graders with this

Ouuufff burned du trenger brannvesenet jeg ringer

V 5 Comments
48 Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an iPod she made the iPad

It is not that good you can try harder something like this your so ugly that when Taylor swift saw you she wrote a song about how ugly you are

Is that why it keeps coming in a bigger size

Listen for whoever wrote this, everyone has a mom now get a life

This is from crainer

V 14 Comments
49 Your mom is so old that when she went to school, there was no history.

Good one 1000 1000

Heres another one, your mum is so fat that when she went to the doctor to weigh herself the doctor said holy crap that's my phone number

This one is a-mazing!

That Is One of The Best Disses I've Ever Heard 3000%

V 27 Comments
50 You're so stupid you went to the doctor and said "Doctor, doctor - I need a new butt; my old one has a crack in it".

It's so obvious but cool at the same time laugh out loud

One of my friends use this in a comic she was writing.I read it then and its still funny

This is from diary of a wimpy kid when greg was making a comic

I love this one

V 22 Comments
51 You so fat you call 911 to pull up your pants

The way you are so tall when you drink milk it expires on the way

Get owned


I'm so tall well yo so short that u had to stretch up to high 5 yo mate🙄

52 You so fat when you jump in the air you get stuck

Worst one yet

I don't get it..

53 You so old you fart dust

That's a good one but could be better

Good but could be better

You try to make yourself cool by opening a bubble gum with a ocup


V 1 Comment
54 Your dad is a pedo.

That is teribl

You can go foK urself

That's not nice at all

This one is just boring - PeeledBanana

V 49 Comments
55 You're so ugly your own reflection runs away from you

This joke is so three thousand and lateIn fact it I'd seriously boring

Answer the question how can my reflection run away from me. Keep putting lame things like this I'm gonna make a link with an actual website a BETTER one.

It has no were to run if you close the door

This is a sick diss

V 19 Comments
56 You're so fat you have stretch marks that say McDonalds

Jokes carry on making more cause that joke was sick

Best one yet. I used it and loved it.

Best joke ever. I rate U.


V 10 Comments
57 The reason the word "ugly" was made was to describe you

It will teach them not to mess with u.. very shameful spectacular diss

Lol so funny I used this on a kid in my school and he left the school

Hey people that make these things are hilarious!

HAHA love this one

V 11 Comments
58 Ask your mom what her biggest mistake was she will say it was you

This is quite good ill use it

Say that to a bully and they'll learn to get a life

Best diss so far

Wow I told the principal that I was killed

V 21 Comments
59 You're so ugly when God saw you he was confused if it was Halloween or Christmas

I like the rest of the jokes well some cause the rest are a porling but this to offensive and god will be disappointed in you for this cruel nasty outrageous joke

You really need to be careful about the disses you make it might be offensive to someones religion or their country

Dude, not cool... you don't make fun of other people's religions

You're so ugly, when Jesus was resurrected he took one look at you and said, "no thanks," then returned to his tomb. - BillTedman

V 39 Comments
60 You have more issues than a magazine stand

That's so funny it shows you talk a lot

This is a really cool joke. I've never heard anything like this! I am so going to use this! Thanks

Clever and so true 4 some people


V 9 Comments
PSearch List

Recommended Lists

List Stats

28,000 votes
1,207 listings
6 years, 137 days old

Top Remixes (36)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

View All 36


Add Post

Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.