Best Disses Ever


The Contenders: Page 4

61 You have more issues than a magazine stand

That's so funny it shows you talk a lot

This is a really cool joke. I've never heard anything like this! I am so going to use this! Thanks

Clever and so true 4 some people


V 9 Comments
62 Your mama is so fat her clothes come in 3 sizes... extra large, jumbo and, OMG it's coming towards us!

That's just too Funny! -Wambles-

Laugh out loud that's so funny

It's not that good try something like your so ugly that Taylor swift said o my god look at that face you look likes next mistake

You are darker than black

V 10 Comments
63 You are so dumb you tried to climb Mountain Dew

Aha this one's good why doesn't it have more likes? Come on people! - Chazing11

Cool but maybe you should try something like roses are red violets are blue I thought I was ugly till I saw you

This joke is good but not really good

I cried of laughter when I saw this

V 15 Comments
64 You probably weigh more than your IQ.

Must way 1 pound = IQ = negative 5,000,000+

All the other ones are dry this one is calm though

What best diss ever

I saw you under the bed teaching cockroachs how to play rugby with rice

V 3 Comments
65 You're so fat drugs can't get you high.

Sucks its supposed to be your moma so tiny when she smokes weed she can't even get high

Laugh out loud for certain someones that is tr

You are on drugs idiot.

Made me lauph

V 8 Comments
66 I'm straighter than the pole your mum dances on.

A lot of my friends call me gay so this make me feel more secure about myself. Thank you so much

This is a good one when someone calls you gay

I use this on occasions where people call me gay and it works


V 15 Comments
67 You're so ugly your mom feeds you with a slingshot

Amazing insult. I will definitely use that

Great disses I have one you you are so ugly your parents play rock paper siccors to kiss you good night

Laugh out loud definitely using this

That's what I call dis

V 11 Comments
68 Your momma's do fat when she turned around it was her birthday

You just hide behind her and you don't have to give her presents. I'M A GENIUS!

Great diss use it pretty often comes in handy at times

The way your bum is herry you need a gips to find your hole


V 11 Comments
69 When you were born your parents didn't know whether to put you in a cradle or a cage

It is rubbish! :@

That cuss broke my heart and I don't wanna hear it again because it happened to my bro laugh out loud

Boring who reads this stuff and the others are bring too I hate reading these disses they are the most rudest most boring things to read in the entire world.


V 6 Comments
70 Your mama so fat when her ass finally enters the room her stomach has already left

Your moms so stupid when I told her to act her own age she died!

That's such a good diss me and my friend loled for so long
I love this website I go on it every day laugh out loud written by sahara who is 12

This one is not very good

Your mamma don't brush her hair with a comb she brushes it with a rake

V 19 Comments
71 Your mama so fat she fell down the stairs without moving.

That is some bad man diss!

I actually thought this one was quite funny, it depends on if you get it or not

The way your so dumb you put your face in a book and call it Facebook

For shore that has happened to you

What did she float

V 9 Comments
72 You're so fat that even Fat Bastard said you are fat

This is so stupid and offensive, you should go to the mall they have lives go get one low life.

Go and fock your mom

That's rubbish. This is better. You're so fat when God created the sun, he told you to move out of the way

Mad props - BillTedman

V 14 Comments
73 When you walked outside wearing a yellow raincoat the sun got jealous

I think it should say "your so fat" at the beggining but good diss

Laugh out loud here is another you so fat when you were a yellow raincoat their are ladies on the side of the road shouting "taxi! "

That is a killer I am so going to use that diss it rocks

I think your trying to say that Your so jelous the sun

V 13 Comments
74 That joke is so old I heard it when I was riding on my pet dinosaur

And the other person should say back: "I knew you were old because of the wrinkles but not that old"

Last time I heard that joke I fell off my dinosaur...

Ya but you were not alive at the time

This joke is so old, I once heard Jesus tell it. - BillTedman

V 22 Comments
75 Your mama so poor she was kicking a tin can down the street and I asked her what she is doing and she said she is moving

Laugh out loud...GOOD 1

Y are all the jokes abt the moms?...

Said this to my cousin they cried for like ever

Meh okay

V 7 Comments
76 Your eyes are so big when you look at a map you see people waving

This is an awesome diss I said it to my enemy and it made cry

I don't get it :-i

Its funny because I have a friend with big eyes and I wanna say this to him laugh out loud

The way your eyes are so big you can count those pieces of sugar

V 5 Comments
77 You're so poor when I stepped on a cigarette you said who turned out the lights

Swag know that's what you call a diss laugh out loud

Damn this is a awesome diss, gonna use this to diss my enemies

#AWESOME! I totally love this one!

Its should be you're so poor when I stepped on a cigarette you said hey that was my air conditioner

V 14 Comments
78 Your mamas so fat when she got on an aeroplane it turned into a submarine

What a mad joke

Probably because the aero plane fell

Poor passenger probably missed their destination

I legit just died laughing

V 14 Comments
79 Your mama so stupid she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep

I've got a good one
If someone asks if you can take a joke you say"no that's why I can't take you! "

This joke is really funny

Love this diss its hilarious

Sick joke

V 6 Comments
80 You're so ugly, you made Chucky look hot.

My friend and I are always looking for good Chucky jokes and this one is perfect! Laugh out loud! I laughed so hard and told everyone. Use this on ALL your enemies! It works! I promise! It makes them stop dead in their tracks and cry!

Thanks for that. The only problem is that Ruby probably doesn't know what Chuchy is. Oh, or that he's really ugly. :D

It's one of them jokes that u don't understand at first but read again and you CRACK up!

Ha lol you made ma mates laugh

V 11 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 24 Sep 2017

27,000 votes
1,207 listings
6 years, 80 days old

Top Remixes (35)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

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