Best Disses Ever


The Contenders: Page 5

81 When you walked outside wearing a yellow raincoat the sun got jealous

I think it should say "your so fat" at the beggining but good diss

Laugh out loud here is another you so fat when you were a yellow raincoat their are ladies on the side of the road shouting "taxi! "

That is a killer I am so going to use that diss it rocks

I think your trying to say that Your so jelous the sun

V 13 Comments
82 You're so fat that your bum is two full moons joined together

Why would you look at someone's bum

Then wouldn't we all be dead because your body must be twice as big as your bum (moon) so wouldn't we run out of oxygen or get squished? 10 year old said this.

Its not that funny but iits good

Hahaaha gonna use this cause my friends diss me but now their turn

V 8 Comments
83 Your teeth are so yellow, people can just sunbathe by looking at you

Your mother is like a cane field man just want to break and suck in she

But not if you had your mouth closed

Wow that is such a joke

Haha ha so funny but still you can't do it with your mouth closed😋

V 9 Comments
84 Your mamas so fat when she got on an aeroplane it turned into a submarine

What a mad joke

Poor passenger probably missed their destination

I legit just died laughing

THis one is so funny

V 14 Comments
85 Your eyes are so big when you look at a map you see people waving

This is an awesome diss I said it to my enemy and it made cry

I don't get it :-i

Its funny because I have a friend with big eyes and I wanna say this to him laugh out loud

The way your eyes are so big you can count those pieces of sugar

V 5 Comments
86 I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

No. 100 should be higher up

Awesome laugh out loud

This is going to help me in school with those bullies


V 6 Comments
87 Your mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Superbowl

This was so funny I was crying and I almost died of cardiac arrest

Its laugh out loud

You could've just said fork and it would be just as bad.

Not that good

V 8 Comments
88 You're so fat and white that when you went to school people thought it was December

It is racist it will get you in trouble

As I said people ned to be careful of what they use as disses

Very good diss and yes he is allowed to say white because there stupid flipping disses about black people and everyone laughed this is funny there should be more like this

Very racist astagfiruallah

V 23 Comments
89 Your mama so stupid she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep

I've got a good one
If someone asks if you can take a joke you say"no that's why I can't take you! "

This joke is really funny

Love this diss its hilarious

Sick joke

V 6 Comments
90 If you're reading this you're probably bored in life

Not really I'm just writting them down so I could say it to some of the bullies that bully me

You say were bored with our life's when it's you that made the post... By the way your just as bored with your life because you read this too...:) get a life bro

I know this should affect me... but u do know you're the ones searching for his disses and it is probably just a joke! Cool down

Yes lol

V 25 Comments
91 You're so dumb you sit on the T.V. and watch the couch.

This is hilarious it made me crack up

I'm using did fr sure. Get it, did.

So old if you never heard it well...

Well that's opposite

V 15 Comments
92 You're so fat that when you stood on the scale the scale said to be continued

This is funny but it needs more spice laugh out loud

Here is another one your so fat that when u stepped on a scale the doctor said oh that's my phone number.

This is the funniest diss I've ever heard

Lol listen to this ''i know your two faced at least make one of them pretty!

V 5 Comments
93 Your mama is so poor she can't even afford to help her kids

You should start to think before you talk some people are really poor and can't even afford to look after there kids be happy that you have parents but I guess if they had the choice they would have taking you to the park and accidentally on purpose forgot you there... This is just the beginning if you continue I will hunt you down and make you suffer...

Get a life, I don't see whats funny there, sleep when you get bored because your disses are just lame and wack.

Again, some people are poor and this is for some people, a real issue so leave poor people alone

Anti-jokes at their finest. Bravo! - BillTedman

V 25 Comments
94 Your trousers are pulled up so high, even LeBron Lames couldn't dunk in it

I think this was crap it won even funny

It means that your tall, which is a good thing

Laugh out loud I can't stop laughing!


V 9 Comments
95 Your mother is so fat that when she stepped in the shower her feet didn't get wet

How did she get in?

She's fat enough to get into the shower

Bcus her belly's in the way?

U think U now everything but are U Google huh

V 9 Comments
96 Whenever an earthquake happens, it's a sign to show that you're walking

Best should be number one!
Used it and made a guy shut up

Sad but hilarious. How on earth did you think about that

Yo momma's so old and fat, she was Noah's inspiration for building the Ark. - BillTedman

That joke came useful

V 5 Comments
97 You're so stupid, when you threw a rock at the ground, you missed

Ha! That awesome bro I'm totally gonna use it!

Laugh out loud comedy gold

That was so awesome Loved it! Hilarious!

That is cool

V 10 Comments
98 Your teeth are so yellow the sun only represents 0.001% of its yellowness

Nice one but did you get that one from your mom

Here's another diss. Your teeth are so yellow they make Gold look cheap

Screw you guys am going home

I don't understand

V 3 Comments
99 Yo Momma's so stupid, that she's really stupid.

This one is lame. How about trying something better000. I definitely wont use this one at all

This one sucks laugh out loud

This has got to be the lamest one. Seriously? Why do a lot of the jokes on this list suck? No creativity.


V 37 Comments
100 You're so fat that instead of calling a taxi you hired a skip

Diss one is so funny

That shows how fat you are

I will use that


V 4 Comments
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Top Remixes (38)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

View All 38


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