Best Disses Ever


The Contenders: Page 5

81 Your teeth are so yellow, people can just sunbathe by looking at you

Your mother is like a cane field man just want to break and suck in she

But not if you had your mouth closed

Wow that is such a joke

Haha ha so funny but still you can't do it with your mouth closed😋

V 9 Comments
82 I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

No. 100 should be higher up

Awesome laugh out loud

This is going to help me in school with those bullies


V 6 Comments
83 Your mama so stupid she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep

I've got a good one
If someone asks if you can take a joke you say"no that's why I can't take you! "

This joke is really funny

Love this diss its hilarious

Sick joke

V 6 Comments
84 Your mama is so poor she can't even afford to help her kids

You should start to think before you talk some people are really poor and can't even afford to look after there kids be happy that you have parents but I guess if they had the choice they would have taking you to the park and accidentally on purpose forgot you there... This is just the beginning if you continue I will hunt you down and make you suffer...

Get a life, I don't see whats funny there, sleep when you get bored because your disses are just lame and wack.

Again, some people are poor and this is for some people, a real issue so leave poor people alone

Anti-jokes at their finest. Bravo! - BillTedman

V 25 Comments
85 If you're reading this you're probably bored in life

Not really I'm just writting them down so I could say it to some of the bullies that bully me

You say were bored with our life's when it's you that made the post... By the way your just as bored with your life because you read this too...:) get a life bro

I know this should affect me... but u do know you're the ones searching for his disses and it is probably just a joke! Cool down

Yes lol

V 25 Comments
86 Your mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Superbowl

This was so funny I was crying and I almost died of cardiac arrest

Its laugh out loud

You could've just said fork and it would be just as bad.

Not that good

V 8 Comments
87 Your trousers are pulled up so high, even LeBron Lames couldn't dunk in it

I think this was crap it won even funny

It means that your tall, which is a good thing

Laugh out loud I can't stop laughing!


V 9 Comments
88 You're so fat and white that when you went to school people thought it was December

It is racist it will get you in trouble

As I said people ned to be careful of what they use as disses

Dude, this is so racist and maybe start to think of better, less offensive jokes.

Very racist astagfiruallah

V 23 Comments
89 You're so fat that when you stood on the scale the scale said to be continued

This is funny but it needs more spice laugh out loud

Here is another one your so fat that when u stepped on a scale the doctor said oh that's my phone number.

This is the funniest diss I've ever heard

Lol listen to this ''i know your two faced at least make one of them pretty!

V 5 Comments
90 You're so dumb you sit on the T.V. and watch the couch.

This is hilarious it made me crack up

I'm using did fr sure. Get it, did.

So old if you never heard it well...

Well that's opposite

V 15 Comments
91 Your mother is so fat that when she stepped in the shower her feet didn't get wet

How did she get in?

She's fat enough to get into the shower

Bcus her belly's in the way?

Good size

V 8 Comments
92 You're so fat that instead of calling a taxi you hired a skip

Diss one is so funny

That shows how fat you are

I will use that


V 4 Comments
93 Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

I love this diss but hear this one you are so ugly your mom put a pic of you and put on the gate and rote be awa of the dog

Wicked I used it on my friend and she backed out straight after

You lyf NYC one

Great one keep it up!

V 393 Comments
94 Whenever an earthquake happens, it's a sign to show that you're walking

Best should be number one!
Used it and made a guy shut up

Sad but hilarious. How on earth did you think about that

Yo momma's so old and fat, she was Noah's inspiration for building the Ark. - BillTedman

Because he got from you hahaa

V 4 Comments
95 You're so fat that when you went swimming, the blue whales said come back brother

Me and my friend made a really funny one you are so fat when you went swimming the whales all jumped up and sang we are family even though your fatter than me

Nice diss, we laugh so hard!

Laugh out loud I said that to my friend he started crying

You're so fat that when you jump the San Andreas fault Line goes off

V 10 Comments
96 Yo Momma's so stupid, that she's really stupid.

This one is lame. How about trying something better000. I definitely wont use this one at all

This one sucks laugh out loud

This has got to be the lamest one. Seriously? Why do a lot of the jokes on this list suck? No creativity.


V 37 Comments
97 When you opened your mouth a guy yelled out 'taxi'

The guy yelled taxi because your teeth are yellow, and some taxis are yellow (a cab)

I don't get that. Totes lame!

This is totes lame you will think better than that aaa some people don't think

Sick I'm going to a diss compotition

V 8 Comments
98 You're so stupid, when you threw a rock at the ground, you missed

Ha! That awesome bro I'm totally gonna use it!

Laugh out loud comedy gold

That was so awesome Loved it! Hilarious!

That is cool

V 10 Comments
99 You're proof that it's possible for people to evolve backwards

Gonna use this

In case you want to know why this is so terrible, I just made this up on the spot. - LemonComputer - LemonComputer


I am da one da one

V 2 Comments
100 You're so fat you occupy all streets so we don't need protesters

This made me Laugh pretty hard I like how you mentioned the protesters to that made it so much better.

This is so funny LOOL



V 2 Comments
PSearch List

Recommended Lists

List Stats

28,000 votes
1,207 listings
6 years, 134 days old

Top Remixes (36)

1. You're so stupid you drowned in a Mexican wave
2. When you were born your mother told your father what a beautiful treasure and he replied yes let's go bury it
3. You're so stupid you sold your cellphone for airtime
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Take that mask off, Halloween is not until October.
3. You're so fat that the only letters of the alphabet you know are K F C.
1. Your mum is so fat that even Dora couldn't explore her.
2. Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
3. Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.

View All 36


Add Post

Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.