Best Dwight Schrute Quotes


The Contenders: Page 2

21 There are several ways to tell if a perp is lying...
22 There are too many people in this world. We need a new plague.

Honestly Dwight's funniest quote of all time. I laugh every time I read this one

One of the funniest quotes

23 Who thought of this one: Anal fissures?
24 Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I would not do that thing.

Such wisdom should be on public display. At least 1 posted every square mile in Minnesota.

25 Merideth, mens room. Be sure to replace the urinal cakes, they're getting worn down
26 You're in the ceiling!

Andy - after Pam and Jim hid his cell phone in the ceiling.

27 I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted

"Never mind. He'd probably end up being a hero anyway. " Lmao! One of my favorite episodes. Cheese pita.

28 It's me! I'm a bobble head!

It's me! I'm the bobble head!

29 "R" is the most menacing sound in the English language. That's why it's called "murder" and not "muckduck."

This made me bust out laughing. I kept rewinding it to hear it over and over again. I'm laughing right now just READING it, haha.

I've seen them all but wanted to look up the werewolf quote as just seen that episode again. I laughed out loud reading this quote as its still so funny

30 We all have a hero in our heart.
31 ...and then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls.
32 Today, smoking is going to save lives.
33 They're going to be screwed once this whole internet fad is over.
34 Those who can't farm, farm celery.
35 Number one: Inverted Penis.
36 The hand that reaches from the grave to grip your throat is the strong hand you want on the wheel.
37 You drive, my car's full of fox-meat.
38 She introduced me to so many things. Pasteurized milk, sheets, monotheism, presents on your birthday, preventative medicine. V 1 Comment
39 It has to be real, and HAS to be urine!
40 A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.

By far my favorite. Should be number 1.

PSearch List

Recommended Lists