Best Epic Rap Battles of History Lines


The Top Ten

1 I Am Chuck F****** Norris!!!! - Chuck Norris

I've spread more blood and ogre than four score of your puny civil wars!

Needs at least 99% - iliekpiez

I've spread more blood & gore than forty score of your puny civil wars, BITCH!

This is just Chuck braggings and saying who he is. There are so many genius lines that could have taken the number 1 spot, and it has to be this? - 445956

2 There are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe - Stephen Hawking

Every time I talk to my mate and his sister about epic rap battles in history, they come out singing this line

Statistically speaking this is the biggest burn ever.

"... That we can observe, yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into 1 NERD! "


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3 Beijing is in China, you blonde a****** - Kim Jong Il
4 Mustache, I call that dirty sanchez on your lip - Darth Vader
5 My name is Beethoven, m*********** - Ludwig Van Beethoven

Maybe you heard of me?

6 Well you Can't Buy Me Love, but I'll kick your ass for free - John Lennon
7 You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang! - Napoleon Bonaparte

This is without a doubt, the deadliest line in all of ERB's history.

8 I'd rather suck George Bush's d***, than Yoko Ono's! - Bill O'Reilly
9 You need to wash off dawg, here step in my shower - Adolf Hitler

I'm not gay

10 I won the Civil War with my beard, now I'm here to kick your ass! - Abe Linocln

The Contenders

11 You did not steal from me, you stole me from mankind! - Nikola Tesla
12 Cause that means Albert E=MC squared - Einstein

Damn, who even though of that?!

"i'm dope as 2 rappers you better be scared
That means albert E=MCsquadeg"-genius

13 In Germany, we don't slap little girls - Ludwig Van Beethoven

-"I'm glad I'm deaf so I don't have to hear that piece of shi My World"

I love this line

14 I'd beat you in round two but that'd be unbelievable. No one in your family ever lives to see a sequel. - Clint Eastwood

Feeling lucky punk

Best line ever

15 I am passively resisting the fact that you suck, I am celibate because I don't have a f*** - Gandhi

In my opinion an underrated line. I didn't vote for it but it's so witty (since celibacy is to not do the nasty. Duh-uh. )

Any more lines like this and I would be in the hospital

16 iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack - Bill Gates
17 By the power invested in me and this giant bald bird, the president shall not be the shiniest of two turds! - Abraham Lincoln
18 I'll say this once, Laurence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van and get the f*** out of my neighbourhood - Mr. Rogers

How is this 52. How is 50 not in the 20's. How people!

19 Your rapping is even weaker than your fight scenes, just one punch and over 9000 screams! - Superman

Superman won with that line

20 You shall not pass! - Gandalf
21 Of the people, by the people, for the people, EAGLE! - Abraham Lincoln

My friend showed me this one, and that was Obama, not Lincoln. - RalphBob

Who won?
Who’s next?
Epic Rap Battles OF HISTORY

22 You've lost so many babies we should call you, Miss Carriage - Cleopatra

Wow…50? This line should be in the 20s.

Pure harsh

23 Laozi, I don’t mean no disrespect, but you need to fill your bowl with some s*** that makes some sense! - Sun Tzu
24 You killed god so I gotta ask, did he die of shame when he made your mustache? - Confucius
25 When I was high upon the mountains, God revealed the truths of the Earth but he never mentioned a fat ass papa smurf - Moses
26 Oh here comes Jordan big tongue wobbling flying through the air like a big dumb goblin. You're the only Bull that's uglier than Rodman - Muhammed Ali
27 Your Puny Fans Are Fat Nerds On Computer, Jerking Off to Games Give Themselves First Person Shooter - Leonidas


28 You guys draw more d**** than New York Pride! - TMNT
29 Great scott! You're great! Not.- Doctor Emmett Brown
30 Suck my robot balls - Darth Vader

no u

31 Watch my 2 finger push up, KUNG F-U - Bruce Lee
32 Your whole basketball career turned whack when you came back a Wizard like Gandalf the Black - Muhammed Ali
33 I'm the bon vivant of violence, a licensed psychiatrist, who dines on highest society to the sounds of violins. - Hannibal Lecter
34 These white boys gettin' burned, 'cause guess what? NOW THE SUN'S OUT! - Sun-Tzu
35 You're a creeper dude, you like to grab your own wanger - Elvis

Michael Jackson Takes a Dump

36 Don't need words to serve ya, I'mma just say WAA-CHAA! - Bruce Lee
37 The only legend you left was your prohibition on soap - Al Capone
38 I mean that rat nest beard trapped so many crumbs, this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month! - Al Capone
39 You're out with three strikes, and just one ball - Babe Ruth
40 No one saw Shane coming, except for your wife - Walter White
41 Fame Talent Money Success You'll always have less, never more.
42 Want to trade blows? You can't even hit puberty - Beethoven
43 You made one daughter and she came to me, I took her to my Neverland Ranch to hee-hee! - Michael Jackson
44 You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay - Steven Spielberg
45 You're the father of your country, but I'm your daddy! - William Wallace
46 A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy! - George Washington
47 You may be GaGa, but you ain't a Lady at all! - Sarah Palin
48 Hasta La Vista, like the Terminator told ya - HAL-9000
49 You've got two giant ears but can't hear that you suck - Genghis Khan
50 You crook, you I bet you wrote the Twilight books too - Shakespeare
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Related Lists

Top Ten Best Epic Rap Battles of History Finishing Lines Top Ten Epic Rap Battles of History Best Epic Rap Battles of History Characters Best Epic Rap Battles of Epic Rap Battles of History Season 3 Best Epic Rap Battles of Epic Rap Battles of History Season 2

List Stats

400 votes
104 listings
7 years, 144 days old

Top Remixes

1. I Am Chuck F****** Norris!!!! - Chuck Norris
2. Beijing is in China, you blonde a****** - Kim Jong Il
3. Mustache, I call that dirty sanchez on your lip - Darth Vader


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