Best Epic Rap Battles of History Lines

The Top Ten

1 I Am Chuck F****** Norris!!!! - Chuck Norris

I've spread more blood and ogre than four score of your puny civil wars!

He wins with his second verse!

Needs at least 99% - iliekpiez

I've spread more blood & gore than forty score of your puny civil wars, BITCH!

2 There are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe - Stephen Hawking

Every time I talk to my mate and his sister about epic rap battles in history, they come out singing this line

Statistically speaking this is the biggest burn ever.

"... That we can observe, yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into 1 NERD! "

Just can't stop saying that line.

3 Beijing is in China, you blonde a****** - Kim Jong Il
4 Mustache, I call that dirty sanchez on your lip - Darth Vader
5 My name is Beethoven, m*********** - Ludwig Van Beethoven

Maybe you heard of me?

6 Well you Can't Buy Me Love, but I'll kick your ass for free - John Lennon
7 You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang! - Napoleon Bonaparte

This is without a doubt, the deadliest line in all of ERB's history.

8 I'd rather suck George Bush's d***, than Yoko Ono's! - Bill O'Reilly
9 You need to wash off dawg, here step in my shower - Adolf Hitler
10 I won the Civil War with my beard, now I'm here to kick your ass! - Abe Linocln

The Contenders

11 You did not steal from me, you stole me from mankind! - Nikola Tesla
12 I'd beat you in round two but that'd be unbelievable. No one in your family ever lives to see a sequel. - Clint Eastwood

Feeling lucky punk

Best line ever

13 Cause that means Albert E=MC squared - Einstein

Damn, who even though of that?!

"i'm dope as 2 rappers you better be scared
That means albert E=MCsquadeg"-genius

14 In Germany, we don't slap little girls - Ludwig Van Beethoven

-"I'm glad I'm deaf so I don't have to hear that piece of shi My World"

I love this line


15 You've lost so many babies we should call you, Miss Carriage - Cleopatra

Wow…50? This line should be in the 20s.

Pure harsh

16 You killed god so I gotta ask, did he die of shame when he made your mustache? - Confucius


17 I am passively resisting the fact that you suck, I am celibate because I don't have a f*** - Gandhi

In my opinion an underrated line. I didn't vote for it but it's so witty (since celibacy is to not do the nasty. Duh-uh. )

Any more lines like this and I would be in the hospital

18 I'll say this once, Laurence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van and get the f*** out of my neighbourhood - Mr. Rogers

How is this 52. How is 50 not in the 20's. How people!

19 iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack - Bill Gates
20 By the power invested in me and this giant bald bird, the president shall not be the shiniest of two turds! - Abraham Lincoln
21 Of the people, by the people, for the people, EAGLE! - Abraham Lincoln

My friend showed me this one, and that was Obama, not Lincoln. - RalphBob

Who won?
Who’s next?
Epic Rap Battles OF HISTORY

22 Your rapping is even weaker than your fight scenes, just one punch and over 9000 screams! - Superman

Superman won with that line

23 Laozi, I don’t mean no disrespect, but you need to fill your bowl with some s*** that makes some sense! - Sun Tzu
24 You shall not pass! - Gandalf
25 When I was high upon the mountains, God revealed the truths of the Earth but he never mentioned a fat ass papa smurf - Moses
26 Watch my 2 finger push up, KUNG F-U - Bruce Lee
27 Oh here comes Jordan big tongue wobbling flying through the air like a big dumb goblin. You're the only Bull that's uglier than Rodman - Muhammed Ali
28 Your whole basketball career turned whack when you came back a Wizard like Gandalf the Black - Muhammed Ali
29 Your Puny Fans Are Fat Nerds On Computer, Jerking Off to Games Give Themselves First Person Shooter - Leonidas


30 I'm the bon vivant of violence, a licensed psychiatrist, who dines on highest society to the sounds of violins. - Hannibal Lecter
31 You guys draw more d**** than New York Pride! - TMNT
32 Great scott! You're great! Not.- Doctor Emmett Brown
33 Suck my robot balls - Darth Vader

no u

34 You're out with three strikes, and just one ball - Babe Ruth
35 No one saw Shane coming, except for your wife - Walter White
36 Fame Talent Money Success You'll always have less, never more.
37 These white boys gettin' burned, 'cause guess what? NOW THE SUN'S OUT! - Sun-Tzu
38 You're a creeper dude, you like to grab your own wanger - Elvis

Michael Jackson Takes a Dump

39 Don't need words to serve ya, I'mma just say WAA-CHAA! - Bruce Lee
40 The only legend you left was your prohibition on soap - Al Capone
41 I mean that rat nest beard trapped so many crumbs, this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month! - Al Capone
42 Hello? It's for you. Bill Cosby wants his sweater - Mr. T

Legend says Bill Cosby is still waiting for Mr. Rogers to return his sweater.
Me too man, I LOVED this line. It was clever, and I honestly think Mr. T won the battle, despite Mr. Rogers roasting him like a marshmallow at the end.

Absolutely hilarious I died laughing and missed the rest of the battle

43 Want to trade blows? You can't even hit puberty - Beethoven
44 You made one daughter and she came to me, I took her to my Neverland Ranch to hee-hee! - Michael Jackson
45 Motherf****** Money - Michael Bay
46 You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay - Steven Spielberg
47 You're the father of your country, but I'm your daddy! - William Wallace
48 A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy! - George Washington
49 You can grow my wheat for me after you’re beaten! - Julius Ceaser
50 You may be GaGa, but you ain't a Lady at all! - Sarah Palin
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