Best Homer Simpson Quotes

The Top Ten

1 Operator! Give me the number for 911!
2 Save me, Jebus!

It’s so funny

3 Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

"NO!
Ham?
NO!
Pork Chop?
They're all from the same animal!
Oh, yeah! Praise that magical animal! "

4 Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
5 I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

I reckon it is, "for once someone might call me sir, without adding you're making a scene"

6 "To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key?

Kills me every time! - Entranced98

7 D'oh

Doh is not tentacle a quota

How is D'oh not number 1

Here I was thinking that this would be at number 1... Let's get it there!

This needs to be number one

8 Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
9 To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
10 Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!

The Contenders

11 Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
12 Now Marge, just remember, if something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
13 Burn Bartie Burn!
14 I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
15 Why you little!

I wander why it's on the last as it's the funniest one.

16 NEERRRDDDD!!

He says it like Luke Gallows does!

17 Must use French instructions Le Grille? What the hell is that?
18 I sleep in a big bed with my wife
19 It is NOT my dog! I tied MY dog outside MYself. I am looking at him right, DOH!
20 If you want a tattoo Bart, you will have to pay for it out of your own allowance
21 “I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-A-T I mean, “S-M-A-R-T!”
22 I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming!
23 Then kiss my curvy butt good-bye!
24 Where's my burrito?
25 You don't make friends with salad!
26 Just start the movie!
27 Everyone is stupid except me.
28 Stupid Sexy Flanders!
29 Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?
30 Don't Mind If I Doo!!
31 Why doesn't mine look like that?
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