Best Insults

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The Contenders: Page 2

21 You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

Oh this is hot

I'm using this on my dad

I thought that was funny. I'm totally using that diss in a dissing contest

I am using this on a fat girl in my class

V 60 Comments
22 You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit.

! Funniest thing I have Heard All Day! Still laughing! Ha Ha!

This is so funny whoever made it up is a friken genius:]

That is so awesome

Haha - 1507563

V 53 Comments
23 With a face like yours, I wish I was blind.

HAHA SO FUNNY! THIS IS FAR THE MOST BEST JOKE ever! I SAID IT TO MY BRO AND HE STARTED CRYING LIKE HELL

I did the same to my bro and he cry out loud

Say something bad but it still funny
Haha

Oh I said that one to a kid named seth carter and he kept his mouth shut when he heard me say what I just said.

Lol this is funny did it to my sis and bro

V 70 Comments
24 You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

this is so cool! who thought of this? I know someone like this and I never got to explain my thoughts about him. - lala222

Love it, this is a first class insult.

Best one ever I am so using this on my math class friend. It's hilarious

This is a diss everyone, your so ugly that your face belongs in the garbage bin

V 105 Comments
25 The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

This is a funny insult. DOUBLE HIT! I told this to my ex girlfriend. She was really sexy and she liked me, and now I can't talk to her. IT WAS STILL WORTH IT

WAY TOO EPIC! How did you even invent such a cruel insult? You must be such a d* in real life

This was surprisingly satisfying, not only does it offend them behavior wise but also offends them in a decent manner instead of trying to insult in a rude way..

Christ this is HILARIOUS

V 61 Comments
26 Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside

Oh my gawd! Hilarious, I said this to my little brother and he got really baffled because I don't think he even knows what eBay is! Whew, I'm still cracking up.

I said it to my crush (That I used to hate). All he can said is "stupid hoe". Lmfao! Then I said if he's so stupid that brain surgeon are having a hard time. God damn! He doesn't give any respond. He can't say anything!

That joke works so well on people why didn't I think of that

V 71 Comments
27 Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you?

Call the fire department, cause you just got burned

Classic insult, I don't remember who actually said it first..

It is amazingly funny! I totally am gonna share this with my bff! AMAZING! HILARIOUS

I'm crying x')

V 47 Comments
28 Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean

OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!

THIS IS so AMAZING. PERFECT, ORIGINAL! CAN PICTURE SOMEONE THAT UGLY, ACTUALLY I KNOW SOMEONE THAT UGLY! BEST EVER!

Oh damn!

V 41 Comments
29 (Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back

Ha! This is great. The feels. Lol

Lol dumb not funny but is

Lol

dumb

30 Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag.

Laugh out loud THAT WAS HILARIOUS THREE THUMBS UP MAN! BRAVO BRAVO!

Funny ill use it on everyone I know, almost as funny as number fifty eight

Rofl. This one cracked me up. I'll use it for sure

Really nice insult man

V 43 Comments
31 Please, I could remove 90% of your 'beauty' with a tissue

I love this one, I could use this in a lot of people from my class, all the girls in my class look like clowns, just so you know what I am dealing with here.

I wonder what would happen if one said this to Nicki Minaj? - Harri666

Jeez I'm so using this LMFAO rating is ten out of ten

Lol I was always go here when I'm in an arguement with somebody on ig

V 42 Comments
32 Marriage at a motel is more appealing than the likes of you. What are you, anyways? You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart.

This one is pretty good, I'm surprised there are no comments!

HAHA, No one ever uses the term "visible fart". Awesome writer!

Lol you could just say You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart and it still be insulting

Funny but how about this...
Me: you need to get a life
Person: I have one!
Me : oh sorry I probably should have been more persific for you, I ment one that matters x so sorry for the miss understanding x

V 11 Comments
33 Your momma so fat, when she went to a doctor, she stepped on a scale and the doctor said "Hey, that's my phone number."

Genius. Made me laugh so hard

Haha me and my bestie couldn't stop laughing 4 ages

This joke is a better version then the I asked your weight not your phone number who ever thought of this is a legend

So funny

V 90 Comments
34 The only thing that goes erect when I'm near you is my middle finger.

This insult is so cruel that it could make your mother cry. If you ever say this to someone they will either punch you or burst into a weeping ball of nothing. Nobody can say this insult sucks!

Haha did this to some random girl that I liked and she was like I love you

Lolololololol 20 minutes later I'm still laughing. I'm going to see how many of my friends cry with this.

Tell this to all the lil scumbags

V 41 Comments
35 Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change.

Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )

Wicked I would use that on nearly all my enemys

That was one of the funniest on this page, literally had me on the floor dying. I could use this on my enemies or my cousins or my sister, and I bet they will give me a look, but it'll be worth it

Bruh I used this on my friend we all started killing each other and stuff it was the best day ever

V 29 Comments
36 All the branches fell off your family tree when you were born

Just simply funny it makes sense that's what I like about it very good insult, no doubt about it! :-)

Yup I'm gonna use this

Kinda funny that

This is so good we are going to do thid to my brothers dumb stupid racist friend! Lol lets see his reaction

V 5 Comments
37 Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

A feasibly sensible joke about life, death and everything inbetween. Excellent

Nice and snappy! Good to say to a girl that thinks too much of herself

This is the best joke so far on here! I love it like it no love it!

I love this

V 41 Comments
38 You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.

I said this to a guy at my school and he actually cried afterward. It is so cruel that it could make anyone burst into tears at that moment! This insult has to be the greatest insult you can ever say to someone you hate!

This ones straight up cruel- AMAZING

LMFAO, I'm using this

Delicious! Good job! As hurtful as it can get!
Loving it! Yo!

V 17 Comments
39 Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!

Amazing. Just amazing. I have a feeling that a Chinese made that one up originally. This one needs to be fifth and traded out with that hello kitty one, cause those who don't watch hello kitty... Well 'me', wont get the meaning. But this one is great. Nice job.

I have used this on a couple of different occasions and I got the best reaction from it! :) And older sort of insult but still extremely funny and you will always get a great reaction from it!

Love it

V 30 Comments
40 Are you always an idiot or just when I'm around?

Now that's a risky one... because the answer could be: "Yes only in your present, to make you feel you're not the only one."

It's very nice man for people like us

Haha AWESOME JOKE USED IT ON MY ARCH ENEMY GOOD ONE

so good

V 4 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 28 May 2017

69,000 votes
2,566 listings
11 years, 194 days old

Top Remixes (122)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
PositronWildhawk
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Elvisjackson
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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