Best Insults

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The Contenders: Page 2

21 You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

I thought that was funny. I'm totally using that diss in a dissing contest

I am gonna use it on this 1 boy who has been bullying me if he thinks to say something back I will use number 25 on the list anyway live This insult

At first I was confused then after the second time I read it I laughed so hard I think my chair broke. I think I am the one who is fat

I'm in 4th grade and I used this to my friend at school and he said "Oh snap" - TeamRocket747

V 56 Comments
22 You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit.

! Funniest thing I have Heard All Day! Still laughing! Ha Ha!

This is so funny whoever made it up is a friken genius:]

That is so awesome

so funny

V 50 Comments
23 With a face like yours, I wish I was blind.

HAHA SO FUNNY! THIS IS FAR THE MOST BEST JOKE ever! I SAID IT TO MY BRO AND HE STARTED CRYING LIKE HELL

I did the same to my bro and he cry out loud

Say something bad but it still funny
Haha

Oh I said that one to a kid named seth carter and he kept his mouth shut when he heard me say what I just said.

Lol this is funny did it to my sis and bro

V 70 Comments
24 Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you?

Call the fire department, cause you just got burned

Classic insult, I don't remember who actually said it first..

It is amazingly funny! I totally am gonna share this with my bff! AMAZING! HILARIOUS

Somebody get some ice for that burn! OOHH!

V 46 Comments
25 Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside

Oh my gawd! Hilarious, I said this to my little brother and he got really baffled because I don't think he even knows what eBay is! Whew, I'm still cracking up.

I said it to my crush (That I used to hate). All he can said is "stupid hoe". Lmfao! Then I said if he's so stupid that brain surgeon are having a hard time. God damn! He doesn't give any respond. He can't say anything!

I LOVE THIS SO TRUEEE

V 66 Comments
26 You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

this is so cool! who thought of this? I know someone like this and I never got to explain my thoughts about him. - lala222

Love it, this is a first class insult.

Best one ever I am so using this on my math class friend. It's hilarious

nice

V 103 Comments
27 The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

This is a funny insult. DOUBLE HIT! I told this to my ex girlfriend. She was really sexy and she liked me, and now I can't talk to her. IT WAS STILL WORTH IT

WAY TOO EPIC! How did you even invent such a cruel insult? You must be such a d* in real life

This was surprisingly satisfying, not only does it offend them behavior wise but also offends them in a decent manner instead of trying to insult in a rude way..

That's deep!

V 60 Comments
28 Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean

OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!

THIS IS so AMAZING. PERFECT, ORIGINAL! CAN PICTURE SOMEONE THAT UGLY, ACTUALLY I KNOW SOMEONE THAT UGLY! BEST EVER!

Lol I am so using this!

V 38 Comments
29 Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change.

Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )

Wicked I would use that on nearly all my enemys

That was one of the funniest on this page, literally had me on the floor dying. I could use this on my enemies or my cousins or my sister, and I bet they will give me a look, but it'll be worth it

Lol

V 27 Comments
30 (Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back

Ha! This is great. The feels. Lol

dumb

31 Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example

Laugh out loud definitely using dis one

I used this on a guy in my class that makes fun of my name. He said "oh yeah, well least I'm not the ugly one here! " Then I used one of the other insults higher on the list and said "I could eat alphabet soup and crap out a better comeback". He cried later that day. Now everyone in class calls me cameback bill

That was the worlds best diss I wish this true to all commenters but me

Love it it's so funny lmao

V 37 Comments
32 Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag.

Laugh out loud THAT WAS HILARIOUS THREE THUMBS UP MAN! BRAVO BRAVO!

Funny ill use it on everyone I know, almost as funny as number fifty eight

Rofl. This one cracked me up. I'll use it for sure

YAS

V 38 Comments
33 Please, I could remove 90% of your 'beauty' with a tissue

I love this one, I could use this in a lot of people from my class, all the girls in my class look like clowns, just so you know what I am dealing with here.

Jeez I'm so using this LMFAO rating is ten out of ten

I wonder what would happen if one said this to Nicki Minaj? - Harri666

great

V 39 Comments
34 Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

A feasibly sensible joke about life, death and everything inbetween. Excellent

Nice and snappy! Good to say to a girl that thinks too much of herself

This is the best joke so far on here! I love it like it no love it!

Nasty but funny

V 40 Comments
35 Yo mama so fat wen she jumped in the ocean the whales started singing We Are Family.

I can't get over this... I've been laughing at my laptop for half an hour now

I have an obsession with yo mamma's so fat jokes. Thanks for the mental image. LAWL. Your mamma's not halal if she's related to whales...

Oh my gad this is so... I can even use that to my worst friend I can't get hold of laughters now laugh out loud laugh out loud

This joke is so old - dorigthellama

V 85 Comments
36 Your momma so fat, when she went to a doctor, she stepped on a scale and the doctor said "Hey, that's my phone number."

Genius. Made me laugh so hard

Haha me and my bestie couldn't stop laughing 4 ages

This joke is a better version then the I asked your weight not your phone number who ever thought of this is a legend

Yo this is a good one

V 87 Comments
37 Marriage at a motel is more appealing than the likes of you. What are you, anyways? You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart.

This one is pretty good, I'm surprised there are no comments!

HAHA, No one ever uses the term "visible fart". Awesome writer!

Lol you could just say You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart and it still be insulting

This one is like for those who really want to insult

V 10 Comments
38 The only thing that goes erect when I'm near you is my middle finger.

This insult is so cruel that it could make your mother cry. If you ever say this to someone they will either punch you or burst into a weeping ball of nothing. Nobody can say this insult sucks!

Haha did this to some random girl that I liked and she was like I love you

Lolololololol 20 minutes later I'm still laughing. I'm going to see how many of my friends cry with this.

best one

V 40 Comments
39 Can I borrow your face? My arse is on holiday.

It is so funny it made me fall of my chair because my brother started crying

This is epic - using it tomorrow for sure. Whoever made this is an epic genius

This ones a total puller when you wanna bust the hell outta your opponent in a crisp sentence...

MY Goodness that's good

V 47 Comments
40 All the branches fell off your family tree when you were born

Just simply funny it makes sense that's what I like about it very good insult, no doubt about it! :-)

Yup I'm gonna use this

Kinda funny that

Kinda mean when you say it to an orphan...
I love it

V 4 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 28 Feb 2017

64,000 votes
2,546 listings
11 years, 105 days old

Top Remixes (119)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
PositronWildhawk
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Elvisjackson
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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Yo mamma jokes
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