The Contenders: Page 3
I think this should be added because it is witty with a gallon of humor. It's perfect if somebody just told you to die. This comeback is something they won't expect. - Dragonlindy
My response to this insult would be, "Said the person that just used the intelligence quotient and a form of human personality to represent a physical height." - zacktheripr
... And starve to death ON THE way down.
Oh sh**!V 59 Comments
That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!
Amazing. Just amazing. I have a feeling that a Chinese made that one up originally. This one needs to be fifth and traded out with that hello kitty one, cause those who don't watch hello kitty... Well 'me', wont get the meaning. But this one is great. Nice job.
I have used this on a couple of different occasions and I got the best reaction from it! :) And older sort of insult but still extremely funny and you will always get a great reaction from it!
The funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. EVER!V 33 Comments
Now that's a risky one... because the answer could be: "Yes only in your present, to make you feel you're not the only one."
It's very nice man for people like us
Haha AWESOME JOKE USED IT ON MY ARCH ENEMY GOOD ONE
Its ok, but it didn't workV 8 Comments
I'm gonna use this on a derp-ass at school
I'd insult you but it seems to me nature beat me to it
ABOUT AS SHARP AS BOTH ENDS OF A DUMP
not badV 1 Comment
This is awful... Awfully funny. I'm sorry... This made me laugh so ' hard. I mean, yeah, stop bullying people in general. But, MUAHAHAHA.
THIS MADE ME LMAO SO HARD ITS AWFUL BUT HILARIOUS! IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I NEARLY CHOCKED! LMAO I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR ONTO THE GROUND! Love this one I'm gonna use it A LOT this is definitely my favourite joke YET :D oahahah if you didn't notice I'm still laughing.
Laugh out loud When I saw this, I cracked up! Best one I've seen here
Oml this is so funny like I actually can’t right now like I get bullied because I’m “fat” so i’ll definitely use this next time lmao 😂😂V 46 Comments
oh snap this is perfect thing for a girl to say to someone hitting on her, it's so cold.
That is awesome. Really funny! I'll remember that one next time! Cause it is really hilarious!
Oh that hurts what an awesome brush off dude! - Bec
If I was a) a girl and b) remotely good-looking enough to get hit on, I would use this. I might also add that nobody cares enough about the other person to bury them when they die.V 2 Comments
Said it to my friend didn't have a clue but my teacher was cracking up!
Hilarious! I can't wait to use this the next time I'm in line somewhere. Wish I could've used this today when the stinky guy behind me at the bank hunched over me like he was about to hump. Lmfao, great one!
Wonderful! Another insult that will completely confuse people in my grade, making them think that I am actually smarter than I probably am. Best thing is, I can probably say this to a teacher of mine who isn't too bright and make my genius friend crack up, where everyone else is sitting there dumbfounded.
It basically means: You smell like an ape - PeeledBananaV 45 Comments
Funny compared to Chuck Norris can do anything!
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with hot butter
Lol ahh this made me laugh kkkV 11 Comments
Oh my god I'm laughing so hard I can't get over this one I think its hilarious how is this not at least in the top ten?
Makes me laugh every time! I don't have much of a sense of humor but this one cracked me up. I just get a picture of someone actually being baptised in sea world... :D
Why is this not rated higher?
SpicyV 29 Comments
Absolute Classic. Something that can be said as though you yourself have come up with it.
Brilliant! This had me laughing all night. It's so simple it still gonna hurt! I must use this soon
This was amazing! I laughed so hard I laughed all morning! Just the most brilliant thing I've heard in a long time
Maaterpiece! So Simple Yet So Hurtful!V 29 Comments
I have heard this too often
Oldie but a goodie
LolV 1 Comment
Haha that's really funny I love it...
going to use that on someone for sure
A better one would be your so fake barbie is jealous
Laugh out loud! I'm totally using this on my friend! We diss each other every day for fun in Drama class.. Can't wait til tomorrow
I love this girl at school looks so fake I am gonna use this I love itV 51 Comments
! So funny I'm gonna use that some day
This joke is so hilarious! Now I can use it on my enemy shawn he is so ugly
Laugh out loud! Good one! I wish I said that years ago to my dog!
lolV 31 Comments
What is wrong with you. This is a terrible offense - dorigthellama
Not funny in the least! And the person or animal that typed up this nonsense: "9 11 is such a good date, I really hate those people that died in that plane crash." You are a sick and twisted individual and the only reason you got a thumbs up is because for some reason the thumbs down is not an option.
That's not a funny one but not offensive either. I'm American and it didn't offend me...
What is wrong with youV 12 Comments
Genius. Made me laugh so hard
Haha me and my bestie couldn't stop laughing 4 ages
This joke is a better version then the I asked your weight not your phone number who ever thought of this is a legend
I love this one so funnyV 97 Comments
Ah haha love this this kid at my school just cried and never took the piss out of me again
This diss makes my friends diss sound like
Its stupid lolollololollololol as soon as I saw this big paragraph without even reading it I knew it was going to be a good 1
Damn I would just say it shortly though "your mom said to pick up some condoms on the way home she doesn't wanna make the same mistake twice"
YASV 29 Comments
Oh my gosh.. that is priceless... - Simply_Nobody
Haha, I should use this on my friend when he pisses me off
I am so using this! Brilliant! - HenP
The best just the best - ElijahHilemanV 30 Comments
I would love to say this to Justin Bieber... - Minecraftcrazy530
Stupidity doesn't care if your a guy or girl but clearly it got whoever thought this joke was funny
That's a good one I think I'm gonna add it to the list just to piss of whoever wrote this and by the way it came from my own head so props to me
Oh I'm sorry but I'm the best soccer player at my school and if you want to mess with girls then that's your problem so if I were you I would apologize to ALL GIRLS
FUNNIEST THING IN DA WORLD LOL LOL LOL LOL LOOL HAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHA Dang I laugh easily... lol looolV 34 Comments
Oh my gosh! This is the best diss ever. Really got me laughing hella hard! What would the next size up in pant size be? Like: hey does anyone have some butter handy so this lady can fit into her pants?
Wow, this will actually encourage people to lose some weight!
Hah! When I said it to my Friends they were walking away Almost Crying! That's just Sad to see them almost cry. Just Sad :P
so funnyV 30 Comments
This one is it
Wow I love this diss so much I used it on all my friends they found it hilarious and I told them to come onto this sight to look at the best disses ever?!?!
I don't get this but it made me and my friend laugh so much!
This makes me laugh every time I see thisV 24 Comments
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Top Remixes (129)
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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