Best Insults


The Contenders: Page 4

61 Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts

Amazing I am going to use this loads laugh out loud

This is so funny I laughed so hard! I swear this is one of the best cuss I've ever heard!

Laugh out loud to howevers got a big head. Nice One

I can't even :D

V 3 Comments
62 Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles

SO MEAN! I was bullied and people beat me up because of what? Oh wait yeah my ears. But those who think its funny I'm glad you have a good sense of humor:) I'm not judging I just mean Somme of these jokes go too far

This is so funny! A girl at school calls me pig nose and I used this comeback. It worked so good she left me alone for the rest of the school year. LOL

Does it really matter about your ear size? You can't bully random people just because they have big ears

I fell of the chair when I read this

V 11 Comments
63 Question: How could a person like you lose 50 pounds of ugly fat in 1 second? Answer: By cutting off your head!

This one is funny because it's so true. Especially about YOU! Thumbs up!

That is so mean laugh out loud

Haha I know someone stupid I could say this to, and they'd be like, "what? "


V 12 Comments
64 Your mom must have a really loud bark!

Ha ha that was rude laugh out loud

Funny stuff man made me laugh so loud I woke my dog up

Too cold to comprehend.. Wordless, not speechless, wordless!

Joe friday: I bet your mother had a loud bark

V 5 Comments
65 Your So ugly that Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.

That one was already like number six or something. - VideoGameTiger

It's bad enough when someone says bye, Mich less someone who has hello in their name and never says bye

This has already been posted... Not to mention that someone never learned their grammar in fifth grade... You, know, homonyms? Your and you're?

Lol I love this

V 26 Comments
66 If I were your mirror I would commit suicide

I love this one!

This is SO funny! I said this to my brother and he told my mom and she said she would too LOL

This is my life saver one I swear I was having an argument with my ex-boyfriend on skype and I said this and he sent a pic of him crying his eyes out!

I always use it on my dad when he is being a morinic crapsack - ElijahHileman

V 15 Comments
67 You say I look bad yet whenever I look at you, you give me pharyngitis.

My favourite insult of all time - ItsDaWorldOfSNuGGLEZ

Gonna use this all the time

Boy you got an ugly ass girlfriend who puts ugly ass birds on her hair

love it

V 4 Comments
68 You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat

Very harsh, I love it

I don't get this

Do you know whats more hilarious you forgetting the u in hilarious


V 5 Comments
69 Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.

Nice! I used this today on my contractor who is a wannabe funny kinda a guy. But I said it this way:

Look man just cause your life is a joke doesn't mean you're funny, alright.

Okay this is perfect I know someone who always tries to be funny this will work great!

This is the best comeback in the world if someone trying to make a joke So funny great job on whoever made this Another one I like is there is your mom... No it isn't that's my dad... Well how am I suppose to tell

Really funny! I have to tell this one to my sister

V 19 Comments
70 As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

I started laughing like a maniac as soon as I saw this! My teacher took my phone of me...

Oh my gosh, this is worth more than number 74!

Awesome! Will use this on my friend!

, my Mam thought I was having a seizure when I saw this. Why is this only 71?!

V 5 Comments
71 Your mum's like a switch, even a two-year old can turn her on.

Am I the only one who thinks pedophile when I hear this insult?

Naw more like sex offender

I don't get that one


V 4 Comments
72 Of all the mistakes your parents made, you take the cake!

Lol that's so funny I like this one Imma use it on my friend

Imma use this on my friend



73 You're so ugly and smelly they had to call out a city wide evacuation.


74 Your mother's teeth are so yellow, I cant believe it's not butter

! That's just like, laugh out loud!, had the best argument with this nerd and I TOTALLY won!

, I'm laughing on silent mode!

I roasted this one kid at my school with this and another one is Your so ugly EVEN BIGFOOT runs from you! Another one is Your so fat even fat Albert is disappointed in you


V 28 Comments
75 Your breath stinks so bad that it destroyed half the ozone layer.

This is very funny I can't stop laughing

Wow quite funny laugh out loud

Best joke over!

I used it on my older brother - HelloWhyImHere2

V 14 Comments
76 The moment you were born, a time paradox was created. The world will explode because of you!

Man that was so funny not

Why is this "joke" even in the top 50? It is not even remotely funny.

It is an anti humor joke it isn't supost to be funny at all...

This was trash

V 17 Comments
77 Your momma is so ugly... she gotta be your momma.

Simple, but made me laugh as soon as I read it, well done

That's actually pretty damn funny.

That's so smart yet funny! I think I heard it before, from your mother?!

People think you're gonna say something else but say a your so ugly joke before you say this one that will make this better. - ElijahHileman

V 28 Comments
78 You so dumb you thought a quarterback was a refund

Great insult I tried it on my mum and got grounded but still so funny

Haha hillarious I told all my friends this and they kept laughing :D best insult :D

Laugh out loud, so funny

At first I didn't get it, 3 seconds later= Laughing my ass off.

V 7 Comments
79 You're so stupid you tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order!

I can't wait to do that one

This won't work unless they actually did that. I would use a "your momma"joke with this like: "Your mom is so stupid, she tried to out m&m's in alphabetical order."

That's true this one is totally funny, I almost got a stomach ach for laughing so hard!

Just make it a W

V 13 Comments
80 You're so big when you jump for joy you get stuck


This one made me and my best friend laugh for 15 minutes.

I can't even describe this.

THIS ONE CRAKED ME UP... I said this to a bully at my school and everyone around us started to laugh like there was no tomorrow

V 8 Comments
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List Stats

73,000 votes
2,602 listings
12 years, 64 days old

Top Remixes (129)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

View All 129


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