Best Insults

heather

The Contenders: Page 5

81 Your mum didn't ask for you to be born. It's just that your dad forget to put on his condom so you were born an accident.

What even

Damn I'm dead

Cool insult

82 You're so fat you thought the marathon was 2.6 centimeters

CAUSE sometimes it is always the fat asses cracking jokes and burning others this is just tips to fight bck

What so she so big

That's funny but,I don't get it

Butthurt people are so..

V 1 Comment
83 Okay class! I'm here to make an unsuccessful attempt at saving you from following the path of your parents!

To the people writing it's not good enough: There are some people that put in effort trying to make this list, and all that come from you guys is "not good enough" would you be able to make this up? Would you try? No? Exactly.

Good one but you should be a teacher to do this

If that was my teacher I would come to school everyday

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!

Really?! nt even laugh a bit so stupid

V 2 Comments
84 Yeah you're special ... special needs

Whoever said this is a complete jerk. I have a special needs brother. Special needs kids are humans too. Jesus loves special needs kids just as much as others. The world would be a better place without jerks like the person who posted this "joke."

This is just cruel

You need some ice for that burn!

To be honest I hate this one.
I'm not even autistic. I don't even have special needs.
I don't want to look like a jerk ;-;

V 35 Comments
85 You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school she got arrested for littering.
86 Yo mama so ugly she scared the crap out of the toilet

! So funny I'm gonna use that some day

This joke is so hilarious! Now I can use it on my enemy shawn he is so ugly

Laugh out loud! Good one! I wish I said that years ago to my dog!

lol

V 31 Comments
87 You look as if a pig and a elephant got married, and you're their offspring.

Haha, this is like that episode of South Park, "An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig". Loved That episode, I'm so saying this to someone, that's hilarious.

So funny Literally I've seen offspring of a pig and a elephant it does look right. So that would so offend them

Its awesome whoever made this is Einstein himself :::

Have you ever heard that song by Loverboy?

V 7 Comments
88 If I had a penny for every brain cell you have I'd have nothing

This is perfect for ignorant people, or trolls.

Laugh out loud. I'm surrounded by people like this, so this is close to home...

If I had a quarter for every time someone cussed at you because of how annoying you are I would be rich beyond imaginable

Quit funny. I'm saving up super good burns for this one girl who goes to my Church camp.

V 14 Comments
89 Your mama is so fat it takes her 3 hours just to get out of her car

She doesn't need a car! She's already the size of the planet, so there's no need to travel.

Sick I loved this one definitely gonna use this in skool

Where would she go, anyway? It takes a bus and two trains just to get around her ass

For the third time, a recycled yo mama joke

V 5 Comments
90 I would slap you but that would be animal abuse

Love it. I will definitely say that to my worst enemies. Either they will slap me until I am a ball of crap OR they start sobbing like little babies. Hilarious! I hope I get the right opportunity...

Tried it on my sister, got grounded and spanked for the next minute and a half

LOL! So great! Unless you think the rival is a dog or cat. Dogs are love. Cats is life! But still great job.

Haha

V 33 Comments
91 You're so fat you gave your mom a heart attack

I said it to my cousin the other day. He told his mom and I got grounded.

That's stupid

I love how one person said I'm laughing because' your moms dead! In the comment.

You are what you eat right? so your 20 pound of grease.ahem 20 tons ahem ahem ahem sorry voice auto correct 20 million tons of grease - Boiiii

V 3 Comments
92 You're so fat, when you run it looks like you're walking

Dude did you leave your computer open, I think your mom posted something. If not you obviously don't get out a lot

Laugh out loud so funny

This is amazing! I tried on my enemy and he tried to run even though he is the size of a million beach balls combined!

Yo momma is so desperate for a better looking freak than you as a child she got SpongeBob

V 4 Comments
93 Hi! I'm a human being. What are you?

Oh I like this one! I should you this against the girls who look like pandas with their stupid eyeliner eyes.

This is great, and if anyone uses this one against me, I will just say: "More human than you'll ever be! "

This was great. Some of the girls at school look like a cake threw up on their face. And if they insulted me... I probably would've said "I'd slap you but, don't want to get cake on my hands"

I'm a saiyan

V 12 Comments
94 9/11 great success

Not funny in the least! And the person or animal that typed up this nonsense: "9 11 is such a good date, I really hate those people that died in that plane crash." You are a sick and twisted individual and the only reason you got a thumbs up is because for some reason the thumbs down is not an option.

That's not a funny one but not offensive either. I'm American and it didn't offend me...

What is wrong with you. This is a terrible offense - dorigthellama

That comment is the most obscene I've seen today it was disgusting and I am not American
you could not be in a state of mental competency to post such a twisted oxymoron which endorses the heinous actions of radicals. Age 14 Caribbean

V 7 Comments
95 Being smart is how you get around in life. Unless you don't even have one.

Its funny and good am gonna cuss someone with this cuss

This should be way higher up.

This isn't a curse dumbass

Molly is great example tbhimofamngllmao

V 6 Comments
96 Their was an accident years ago. The accident wasn't on a highway, but in your mom's bedroom.

Imma say this. I'll drag their asses to hell and back! - ItsDaWorldOfSNuGGLEZ

All I could think when I read this was DAMN SON!

DAMN this is cold

Love this so funny

V 8 Comments
97 Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?

Yeah they did

Love it

98 Your family is so poor that you can't afford food from a food bank.
99 I...... words can not express how much I hate you

I hate everybody so this is great! I play WoW and people piss me off to no end on this game, so this is going to work great!

To insult the person this lines will be the best.

I this quote so much, I hate everybody so this really works.

I got a good diss
The 70s called they want there hair back

V 7 Comments
100 You're so ugly, apes want to adopt you

I said this to the person who's bulling me... he said "i um... well you... ugh you win" I celebrated so hard that I slapped him XD hahahahahaha I still hate that smoking freak XD

No more like "you're so ugly not even apes want to adopt you" Love this one :-)

Thought about saying this to a friend, insulting each other is apart of our friendship, but then decided to say"You're so ugly, apes don't even want to adopt you! "

I can change it and say u r so ugly apes rejected u

V 13 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 20 Sep 2017

70,000 votes
2,592 listings
11 years, 309 days old

Top Remixes (127)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
PositronWildhawk
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Elvisjackson
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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Yo mamma jokes
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