Best Insults


The Contenders: Page 6

101 When I saw your face on TV it said viewer description is advised

Your so annoying even SPONGEBOB screams when he sees you walking towards him

Whoever said 'viewer description' is obviously stupid.

The joke is funny if you're smart and think about what it means

More like 'when I saw your face on T.V. it said PG999 because only the dead can appreciate those without a life' - Akemi_yukimizu

V 13 Comments
102 You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You got drug through dumbass forest.

Clearly you were the one who dragged them through dumbass forest

I Died laughing from this one. COMPLETE GENIUS! Gotta use this on a hater sometime soon...

I used this on one of my friends and she didn't get it.
she got drug through the forest a few times.

Isn't drug supposed to be dragged?

V 14 Comments
103 You're so slow that even the autistic kid didn't want to hang out with you.

Dude that's messed up... My brother is autistic

I have an autistic nephew and he's super talk an doesn't smart he just doesn't talk so this is a really stupid joke

This lady's grammar is a stupid joke.

Don't bully autistic kids... they can't help who they are. We are all a gift from God.

V 43 Comments
104 You're so poor when I walked in your front door I fell out the back door

Haha! Excellent insult for som littl twat at my school! Lemme show him who he really is! This is like so funny

I have a better one. when I walked into your house I said I have to go toilet and you said pick a corner

Jeez, so rude when I said it 2 my bigger sister who lives in a huge house... she fainted

That was so funny great when you have been to a friends house before and seen their house was so small

V 14 Comments
105 I'll be honest; I can't tell if your mom is even human.

How is this not in the top 10?
I told my friend about it and he almost pissed himself laughing! This insult makes you seem intelligent, I don't know why, but its just so awesome!

almost crapped myself laughing Why is this not top ten or twenty? I'm totally going to use this on a short prick in my school who nobody likes.

My horse is too high to get off it safely

I will use this in school

V 4 Comments
106 Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.

Dude that's funny I used that on these dudes at school being jerks and they shut right up

Awesome couldn't stop laughing

Great one if your deeply offended

Fave one so funny! This is the only one that actually made me ' giggle' šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‹

V 4 Comments
107 Your mama is so fat she wore high heels and struck oil.

Another insult is

Your so skinny if you ate a meat ball you would look pregnant

This is a retarded insult.

Good insult

108 Yo mamma so dirty she makes mud look clean

That's cool but not great

Well its ok does anyone have better ones share them here

Awesome and the bully actually cried!


V 7 Comments
109 You so ugly you made Frankenstein look dreamy

Frankenstein is the doctor.

Fun Fact: The monster didn't have a name so you should call it " The Nameless Monster."

Frankenstein is gorgeous.

Looks like frankenstein will have some sort of reputation soon. He'll have a crush, go to prom,etc.

V 2 Comments
110 If your brain was donated to science, science would return it.

If someone needed a brain transplant and they were gonna give them yours the person would rather die a million times

With the person I'm planning to use this on definitely! But of course they would never donate anything to anyone.

If someone annoys me in science class and they really offended me I would use this

Waddling Puddles irniaCalfo

V 9 Comments
111 Easy on the make-up, girl. I've seen clowns that look more natural than you.

Another joke is " easy on the make up there, you look like a warrior going to battle.

Lol. Really like this one!

Good one


112 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so

Hate your boyfriend for thinking so


113 Do you know how old i am? Oh wait i forgot, you dont know how to count!

Don't need to count to know age oh wait I forgot you can't read.

To be honest I like this joke, but if the person has dyslexia, don't use this one on that person unless if they don't think it's offensive.

Someone basically wrote one like this

I told that to a boy everyone said oooh because it was a good one they loved the joke

V 3 Comments
114 Ahhhhhhhhhh! It's Leatherface! Oh no wait it's you.

Spooky yet cool

115 If I throw a stick, will you go away?

I've heard this one and I like it

I like that one

That bad


V 1 Comment
116 You were born in A&E.

This is a horrible insult...

I don't understand

Don't get it.

This sucks

V 1 Comment
117 Wow, I'm so sorry, iļ»æ wish I could have helped you when that lion clawed your face to pieces, what, it didn't, I was gonna say, even a lion couldn't have done something as bad as that.

I would say this to a person and she would cry so bad she wet her pants all the way up her mother

To bad 5 years later a lion got killed by his ugliness

This should be #1


V 1 Comment
118 You're so fat that when you walked past our window you blocked out all the light for a month.

I said this to my teacher I got kicked out of class

119 Yeah you're pretty ... pretty stupid

Haha.. Made me remember my boyfriend's ex!

its funny a friend of mine keeps saying am I pretty now I know what to tell her

LOL! I will use this in my enemy. Whoever came up with this, they are a genius!


V 12 Comments
120 I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

Oh my god! I love this and I am so totally gonna use it!

That is pretty dang awesome! A fantastic insult! I love this! Totally going to use it! didn't expect somethign to be this good, but it was completly awesome!

Winston Churchill said something like this... I think it was 'I may be drunk and rude madam, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly'. Really good insult if someone obnoxious is sensitive about their looks

Another one, think it was Churchill too. A pretty woman approached him and said, "We should make love because with my looks and your brains we would have perfect children". He replied, "But what if they have my looks and your brains? " Genius!

This would be good for people being bullied because of their size. - FluffyBanana

V 22 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 25 Sep 2017

70,000 votes
2,592 listings
11 years, 314 days old

Top Remixes (127)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

View All 127


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