Best Insults


The Contenders: Page 8

141 You are so ugly when you were born the doctor said I'm gonna drop it, if it falls is a rat, if it flies is a bat.

Awesome! This one's gonna hurt.. But look at the bright side I guess this one's going to blow your enemy away.

That one is great! I said it to my friend who was severely premature, she slapped me.

I have a rat and there's a bat living in my shed. I don't like this one it's basically insulting rats and bats

Loooll, that's amazing! I've GOT to use that sometime.

V 10 Comments
142 I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

Oh my god! I love this and I am so totally gonna use it!

That is pretty dang awesome! A fantastic insult! I love this! Totally going to use it! didn't expect somethign to be this good, but it was completly awesome!

Winston Churchill said something like this... I think it was 'I may be drunk and rude madam, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly'. Really good insult if someone obnoxious is sensitive about their looks

Another one, think it was Churchill too. A pretty woman approached him and said, "We should make love because with my looks and your brains we would have perfect children". He replied, "But what if they have my looks and your brains? " Genius!

This would be good for people being bullied because of their size. - FluffyBanana

V 22 Comments
143 Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps

I have used this one plenty of times an its just as funny every time laugh out loud

Pretty good. I can just picture this woman running down to the buffet, knocking all these people out of her way.

Best one why is this not number one best joke I've heard in my life

Lmfao, that took me about 2 seconds of staring dumbly at the screen before cracking up

V 4 Comments
144 Your mum is so stupid she needed to get home with the 44 bus so she took the 22 one twice

Awesome joke! I've never heard anything that original! Keep up the good work!

That's awesome! Honest! If I said that to someone they would be speechless because its hard to think what to say it's so good! Well done to you! You deserve to win!

This is honestly the best one yet

Awesome joke I will use this so much

V 7 Comments
145 I saw you in a junkyard yesterday and told you to go home but you just stayed there

But... I saw a cow there is it you?

I am very thankful because of your hep

And if they say they weren't at a junkyard, tell them you mistook them for a hippo

I saw you on T.V. yesterday you were featured on animal planet - XXXBXXX

V 4 Comments
146 What died on your neck? Oh, it's your head

Definitely saying this to my English teacher!

That line is perfect for my ex boyfriend.

Perfect I'm saying this to a guy in school

This actually made me laugh.😂

V 6 Comments
147 You're so lonely your wheelie bins go out more then you

Yeah there more important than my enemies

I +1 the guy's comment who said he beat his enemy

I said that to my worst east enemy then beated him till he started bleeding, then he started crying. So fuunny laugh out loud

148 When your dad dropped you off at the airport they said sorry no garbage cans on the plane

I work at a airport tried this and they went away! BRILLIANT!

This is awesome, suits trash talkers

I am going to use this one on my ex boyfriend every time I see him!


V 3 Comments
149 Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty and what the hell happened to you?

Oh god this is so funny laughed my head off when I saw my sisters reactions when I told her!

Me and my friend are having a diss war against my brother and this is so funny!

So funny! I am a Mormon, so I don't agree with one word of this, but other than that it looks good!


V 30 Comments
150 I would love to insult you but I'm afraid I wouldn't do as well as nature did.

This is really good

I love this one.

I sooo want to try this on someone its really good!

I am gonna try it on my brothe r

V 2 Comments
151 Is your family tree a weeping willow? Cause if I had to hold your picture I'd cry.

LMFAO! I laughed so hard at this with my friend!


Every kiss begins with K
To bad ugly start with U... how about deem apples!

152 Yo mama so stupid she put a paper on the T.V. and called it paperview

That's a dope one... Try this your dad watches T.V. with one eye when you asked him he said its to save electricity

I agree it is lame it's a plagiarized yo mama joke

I'd always say this one! Ha love it!

Why not use this because that is lame your mom is so stupid when u told her to play the Xbox she grabbed a shoe box and put a x on it!

V 2 Comments
153 I think I left my condoms at your mum's house last night.

This one is the best! Why are you putting it at 156! - Presen4


Good diss

It’s good

154 Don’t talk about yourself too much… we’ll do that for you when you leave

This will shut them up

155 Dumb Dumb

Preschoolers should be banned from this site

This was a joke

This is just a pre school comeback


V 17 Comments
156 If you had any intelligence to question I would have questioned it already.

Perfect response to "Are you questioning my intelligence? "

This one sucks

I am gonna say that to my cousin caz he is a nerd so yea!

157 You are so big that you should live on jupiter.

Wait what? Come on guys, you can do better than that

Is that really your best?

I think they should moniter the stupid jokes!

This is sooo bad

V 4 Comments
158 Anybody who told you to just be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
159 You're so fat you were baptized in the atlantic ocean
160 What was that? You have a brain freeze? But honey doesn't that actually require a brain first?

hahhaha! I used this one a lot! :D hillaarious! x)

So cool. I loved it. I'm am so going to use that on all the people I hate This will be perfect.

This is so awesome! Gonna use it on the fatest dude in my class! He knocked a kid down by touching him once! Then I said " See! This what happens when Hassan uses his fatness on people! " Everyone started laughing an the dudes like I'm not fat! SO then I said " Ya tell that to Andrew. The kid you body checked! "

Yeah boy

V 9 Comments
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List Stats

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Top Remixes (129)

1. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
1. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
1. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

View All 129


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