Best Jokes of All Time

SmoothCriminal

The Top Ten

1 Come to the Darkside... We Have Cookies!!

Every single one of these jokes are stupid. I found none of them even remotely funny, they are all for kids, real immature toilet humour. I mean its dry and stupid

Absolutely stupid; even more so than "Why did the chicken cross the road". What if I said "come join the Nazis, we have pancakes"? The reaction would generally not be laughter because it isn't witty.

It is supposed to be "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE LOKI, and cookies." This one is so much better. - LokiLaufeyson2000

I think this is a very funny JOKE.

V 8 Comments
2 Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!

So peoples you can latterly use this joke in a comedy act like this: Well when I was little my dad said that good woman are found on every corner of the earth! My first question to that was how many corners does the earth have. Then I realized the earth has no corners. Tis is by far the best joke

That is the funniest one. It should be first.

What the heck is this suppose to mean - iiwreky

#round earth

V 9 Comments
3 Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies V 1 Comment
4 How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

I hate this joke. It's not funny and offensive to MJ. How can you people let this stand. - Draco

With a babies penis

Man, this joke is bad. It's offensive. - Animefan12

That's not good at all😠 - Ananya

V 1 Comment
5 Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

because there's 20 of them, hehehehe - SmoothCriminal

That's just sick, but funny, lol - SmoothCriminal

Oh, I get it! 20 eight-year olds, right! - Animefan12

V 1 Comment
6 Kid: Mom I'm on Coke.. Mom: OMG how dare you?, you little.. Kid: and PEPSI!!!

It's funny when I tell someone I'm addicted to coke cause they think I mean the drug :P - booklover1

Mom, I'm on coke
Is it good?
No! My name is on the coke bottle!

This is what would happen. Then I would finally find the "Jill" on the name bottles. - Merilille

V 1 Comment
7 Yo mama so fat, she takes up space

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on a dollar, George Washington sang "Oh say can you see get your fat ass off me" is better :P

Boooringg! That's the most typical thing in the world. Its more of a fact than a joke.

V 3 Comments
8 Come to the nerd side... We have pi

Lol. I'm not a nerd in any sense but this is pretty funny. I'll tell my nerd neighbor to use it, she will probably smother me with know large of pi while doing her distinctly nerdy laugh.

Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies". Much better.

Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.

V 3 Comments
9 I know Victoria's secret and it ain't pretty.
10 I wub u. V 1 Comment

The Contenders

11 Kid: do u have a P.S.P.?, Kid2: yes, Kid3: haha you have a Pretty Small Penis

Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me I said:
"Yeah" and he looked at me, scared. Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said:
"No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system. "

Awesome! I have another.
Kid1: Do you want to be the Chairman Of the World?
Kid2: Yes, of course!
Kid1: That means you are a COW!
Kid2: Oh, Chairman Of the World! Yes! It's abbreviation is cow! Awesome!
Kid1: Yeah, and it's you.
Kid2: Aargh! - Animefan12

Laugh out loud Nice haha.. will definitely use this on one of my friendss...!

V 1 Comment
12 What's the difference between a mole and an eagle. They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a lion? One is heartless, roars angrily at everything, has stupid hair and eats the innocent... The other is a lion.

It said EXCEPT for the eagle - they were basically making fun of their own joke

How the hell would an eagle be underground? - Animefan12

What?

V 1 Comment
13 Your mama is so fat she couldn't fit on Earth

Yo mama so fat when she caught a magikarp, She was imprisoned.

If Yo mama splashed into North Pacific Ocean, Alaska Drowned, so what if her magikarp splashes? - Animefan12

Yo mama so fat when she splashed in North Pacific Ocean, Alaska drowned! - Animefan12

14 What is black and white and red? A sunburned zebra.
15 What does a television have in common with a rabbit? His ears!
16 What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun

Man, this is even worse than "What's yellow and has a peel? A banana! " - Animefan12

What is black white and crazy? A constipated panda!

Is this an anti-joke?

What is black and white? I dunno, maybe a Leopard kind of...

V 3 Comments
17 Yo mama so stupid when she got fired she set herself on fire

Makes no sense at all but I just love it for that. The best on here in my opinion. There's something about it that just makes you laugh. I don't even know what it is but lol.

V 2 Comments
18 Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven?

Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a legend.

Cos he has no chance in HELL - SmoothCriminal

19 A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30? V 1 Comment
20 Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier V 3 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 21 Sep 2017

500 votes
100 listings
6 years, 325 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. Come to the dark side, we have Loki, and cookies
2. Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round!
3. Come to the nerd side... We have pi
LokiLaufeyson2000
1. Why did the chicken cross the road? You didn't cook it.
2. My papa got stung from a bee and the bee said 'buzz kill' and my father thought he'd die from that bee sting.
3. She wants the direct.
PrinceAntho
1. What is the biggest crime in the sea? Grand Theft Otter.
2. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback/quarter back!
3. What did the crop say to the farmer? Why are you always picking on me?
Fandomstuck

WRemix
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