Best Lies Parents Tell Their KidsDon't you love the lies we tell our kids! I do. Here are some of my favorites that I was told in my youth.
The Top Ten
The sweetest of dreams! A benevolent white-bearded man coming down the chimney - we left cookies and carrots for him and his reindeer. My older sister and I felt like we were the last ones in school to find out the truth; my younger sister felt the burden of keeping the charade alive. I'm 42 and we still get presents from St. Nick. A beautiful lie! (I include the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all the other wonderful make-believe figments of society's imagination.
Saint Nicholas is real, but he ded and he's not the one we imagined. He doesn't look like we think he does (I think he was actually pretty skinny), he didn't come down chimneys, he didn't watch you, he didn't give presents to only the nice people, he gave them to the ones who were struggling in life: financially, etc, etc. - Evant
Same thing here. My parents still expect me to believe even though I already know. Now it's up to me to act like a 4 year old about Santa cause I'm the youngest. - notyetsaved
How do you explain having Santa in one store and the one right next to it at the same time? - lovefrombadlandsV 5 Comments
I Heard that In Grand Theft Auto 5 While Hearing Ron Talking About That On His Radio Show BCR Commity Hour - topbesttopworst
Pure parental bull crap! I should have asked dad to show me his medical degree. Lucky for him it was pre-Google. Would have loved to call him out on that one!
Kid: So it can rain money and candy? AWESOME!
Right! That's how come Cathy got a car and I didn't.
So one child is loved and the others are hated - mayamanga
Maybe to my dad but my mum likes my sister a LOT more. - KingFab
My mom hates me and I hate her.She ruined my life by making me miss my friends,getting wounds,forced me to be with rude people,etc.-DarkBoi-XV 3 Comments
Not true. I have eaten tons of expired food over the years, including 18 month old relish. I am still alive
OW dieing - ArielleBelle
I ate expired chips once and I’m alive! - lovefrombadlands
(5 seconds later: OWWW! YOU LIED! WAAAH! >:(
I thought this was true until about ten seconds ago! Well I feel stupid...
There’s help for them
It depends on the food. Most are still good a few days after the expiration date, but you still have to smell and taste it and check it's appearance first. Some food even goes bad BEFORE the expiration date.
My Uncle Mike told me this one! It worked. I was deathly afraid of embarrassing myself - even the slightest urge had me scampering out of the water to the bathroom. Brilliant! I've told it a few times myself.
Well, I was at the pool last weekend with my little sister and we were in the pool, I was helping her swim, and she says the she can't hold it and pees in the pool. I tell her it's okay and NOTHING HAPPENED TO HER. - Swiftdawn
This will probably be true if girls that are on their heavy period days do that...
Yeah... “red ink.” - lovefrombadlandsV 1 Comment
There wouldn't be enough sun, soil, water, etc. for the seed to grow. Plus, how would the seed germinate inside a stomach? - Evant
I won a watermelon eating contest at Pizmo Beach in the summer of '77 and I must have swallowed a thousand of them - No Tree!
I’m Asian and while growing up I listened to this Cantonese kid’s song that claims that if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow out of your head (which, of course, is total BS because I have tested that theory and nothing actually happened to me)
Well this one is sort of true but I don't think you need to wait that long. Exercising immediately after eating can cause some problems, though, because when you exercise the blood flow is diverted away from the digestive system to the muscles that need the energy so that you don't get tired too easily. But really you don't need to wait an hour. I normally don't exert myself too much when I swim anyway.
Whenever the ice cream truck comes when I'm at the pool, after I finish it off I go back in the water - mayamanga
Chalk this one up to ignorance. Just parents repeating the same crap their parents told them. Somebody must stop the cycle of BS. - although I do remember a particularly harsh burpy swim practice after downing a whole pizza.
There is no proof that god exists or not. - MrCoolC
Found that one out the hard way!
What? Not unless a razor is sticking out of my butt!
Everyone just assumes God loves them and they're going to heaven. And then they tell their kids that. They don't even bother to read what the Bible says about it.
Aka fatality - Maddox121
The rules, bullies, work, long hours, and mean teachers ruin the fun
Yep, being with people you can’t stand, bullied and having some of your teachers be horrible at their job is totally fun! - 3DG20
That’s the biggest lie I ever heard, by the way, I’m at school making this comment! - lovefrombadlands
Asian parent: You can only be doctor, lawyer, or engineer!
Oh, when I was 7, my parents told me I couldn’t get my dream job. - lovefrombadlands
Kid: I wanna be a dog when I grow up!
Dream on, kid. Dream on.
And they wonder how children abuses drugs in the future...
My relatives say this ALL the time to keep little kids from crawling up the stairs, AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A DOG!
Not true. I was sick on CNY quite a few times. It lasted only 1-2 days and not 365.
That is incredibly stupid and impossible
This is WRONG! My relatives speak in baby talk to my cousins and now they have speech problems.
My cousins and I play games and we have good grades in school
My dad always tells me this. - lovefrombadlands
The most racist lie pretty much every Asian kid will grow up hearing
The artificial sweeteners are WAY worse than regular sugar. Also, my family BANS sugar-free food from the diets of diabetics and people with high blood sugar
Lol. - lovefrombadlands
What? Why would you tell your kids that? - lovefrombadlands
I hated my childhood dentist because he caused me pain while pulling out my baby teeth
What if I was already ugly? - 3DG20
That’s not even close to true. - lovefrombadlands
I have ridden dozens of coasters (including the kiddie and family ones) and I’m still pretty
My relatives believed that if any one of my cousins were coughing, they are automatically sick
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6 years, 295 days old
2. Don't masturbate or you'll go blind
3. Anything is possible