Best Lies Parents Tell Their KidsDon't you love the lies we tell our kids! I do. Here are some of my favorites that I was told in my youth.
The Top Ten
I'm 11. My mom and dad had a talk with me that santa wasn't real. I already knew santas at the mall weren't real santa, but I didn't know my parents were. Mom let me touch Michael(the elf). I already suspected that santa was fake, but the talk was just confirming it. My little brother who is 9 still believes in santa. Michael is in mom's top drawer.
The sweetest of dreams! A benevolent white-bearded man coming down the chimney - we left cookies and carrots for him and his reindeer. My older sister and I felt like we were the last ones in school to find out the truth; my younger sister felt the burden of keeping the charade alive. I'm 42 and we still get presents from St. Nick. A beautiful lie! (I include the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all the other wonderful make-believe figments of society's imagination.
How do you explain having Santa in one store and the one right next to it at the same time?
Your parents are the real Santa ClausV 6 Comments
Right! That's how come Cathy got a car and I didn't.
Maybe to my dad but my mum likes my sister a LOT more. - KingFab
Haha, I don't know why parents even bother saying this. Newsflash: Kids know when you favor a kid.
"YEAH RIGHT! ' Then how come my sister got money for her high school graduation but when I graduated from high school I got NOTHING? >:(V 2 Comments
I thought this was true until about ten seconds ago! Well I feel stupid...
Who da faq came up with this? - Doge4lifeGaming
I Heard that In Grand Theft Auto 5 While Hearing Ron Talking About That On His Radio Show BCR Commity Hour - topbesttopworst
Well, I was at the pool last weekend with my little sister and we were in the pool, I was helping her swim, and she says the she can't hold it and pees in the pool. I tell her it's okay and NOTHING HAPPENED TO HER. - Swiftdawn
This will probably be true if girls that are on their heavy period days do that...
My Uncle Mike told me this one! It worked. I was deathly afraid of embarrassing myself - even the slightest urge had me scampering out of the water to the bathroom. Brilliant! I've told it a few times myself.
Lol red ink.V 1 Comment
There wouldn't be enough sun, soil, water, etc. for the seed to grow. Plus, how would the seed germinate inside a stomach? - Evant
I won a watermelon eating contest at Pizmo Beach in the summer of '77 and I must have swallowed a thousand of them - No Tree!
I’m Asian and while growing up I listened to this Cantonese kid’s song that claims that if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow out of your head (which, of course, is total BS because I have tested that theory and nothing actually happened to me)
I'm a parent and I would never feed this religious crap to my kids. - Meljacques
It is true..
There is no proof that god exists or not. - MrCoolC
Well this one is sort of true but I don't think you need to wait that long. Exercising immediately after eating can cause some problems, though, because when you exercise the blood flow is diverted away from the digestive system to the muscles that need the energy so that you don't get tired too easily. But really you don't need to wait an hour. I normally don't exert myself too much when I swim anyway.
In 2011 my cousins and I went to Camelbeach and the first thing that we did after lunch was swim in the pool
Chalk this one up to ignorance. Just parents repeating the same crap their parents told them. Somebody must stop the cycle of BS. - although I do remember a particularly harsh burpy swim practice after downing a whole pizza.
They also say that if u swallow your gum it will grow in your stomach that's is bs cause I do it all the time and I am good - NF-2003
I have swallowed gum multiple times so this is fake.-DarkBoi-X
Pure parental bull crap! I should have asked dad to show me his medical degree. Lucky for him it was pre-Google. Would have loved to call him out on that one!
Found that one out the hard way!
(5 seconds later: OWWW! YOU LIED! WAAAH! >:(
What? Not unless a razor is sticking out of my butt!
"But mom, look! The ice cream truck stopped, and all the kids are surrounding it! " - Gg2000
Whoever made this up is the big gay - Doge4lifeGaming
No they don't! Parents just want an excuse to stop you from playing video games!
They make me live forever. - mistyglow
I sometimes play video games all day, and I am one of the smartest people in my class
My dad always tells me this.V 1 Comment
When I was younger I stupidly believed in this. I put my tooth under my pillow, and when I woke up the next day, it was still there.
I’m an adult and I cry sometimes
So doing exams are fun? - Doge4lifeGaming
The rules, bullies, work, long hours, and mean teachers ruin the fun
Yep, being with people you can’t stand, bullied and having some of your teachers be horrible at their job is totally fun! - 3DG20
That’s the biggest lie I ever heard, by the way, I’m at school making this comment!
Everyone just assumes God loves them and they're going to heaven. And then they tell their kids that. They don't even bother to read what the Bible says about it.
Aka fatality - Maddox121
This is true though - DarkBoi-X
There’s help for them
Somehow my mom dreamt about my late Grandpa Edward when she was pregnant with me. She is still alive - Mii24
Lol. - mistyglow
What? Why would you tell your kids that?
I wanna be an atom - Doge4lifeGaming
Asian parent: You can only be doctor, lawyer, or engineer!
Oh, when I was 7, my parents told me I couldn’t get my dream job.
Kid: I wanna be a dog when I grow up!
Dream on, kid. Dream on.
This is semi-true as in getting them pulled hurts a little but them just falling out without you knowing don't - Mii24
I hated my childhood dentist because he caused me pain while pulling out my baby teeth
What if I was already ugly? - 3DG20
That’s not even close to true.
I have ridden dozens of coasters (including the kiddie and family ones) and I’m still pretty
And they wonder how children abuses drugs in the future...
My relatives say this ALL the time to keep little kids from crawling up the stairs, AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A DOG!
Not true. I have eaten tons of expired food over the years, including 18 month old relish. I am still alive
I ate expired chips once and I’m alive!
Not true. I was sick on CNY quite a few times. It lasted only 1-2 days and not 365.
That is incredibly stupid and impossible
This is WRONG! My relatives speak in baby talk to my cousins and now they have speech problems.
The most racist lie pretty much every Asian kid will grow up hearing
The artificial sweeteners are WAY worse than regular sugar. Also, my family BANS sugar-free food from the diets of diabetics and people with high blood sugar
This list is funny. - mistyglow
Doing nothing is impossible - Doge4lifeGaming
Kid: So it can rain money and candy? AWESOME!
My relatives believed that if any one of my cousins were coughing, they are automatically sick
It depends on the food. Most are still good a few days after the expiration date, but you still have to smell and taste it and check it's appearance first. Some food even goes bad BEFORE the expiration date.
Ever heard of watermelon and feta salad?
It depends on your health and if you just ate you shouldn't be riding these for at least 2-3 hours.
Not true. I love watching Disney’s Hercules and I’m 26.
I'm 26 and I can still ride on coin operated horses with no problems!
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7 years, 293 days old