Top 10 Best Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

Don't you love the lies we tell our kids! I do. Here are some of my favorites that I was told in my youth.
The Top Ten
1 There is a Santa Claus

Christmas 2016: I get a TV for Christmas, the tag says it's from Santa.
Summer 2020: *My dad sees my TV screen is very dirty.* "Please get some windex and clean the screen, we bought that for you, so please take good care of it."

And peple wonder why I don't believe in Santa.

The sweetest of dreams! A benevolent white-bearded man coming down the chimney - we left cookies and carrots for him and his reindeer. My older sister and I felt like we were the last ones in school to find out the truth; my younger sister felt the burden of keeping the charade alive. I'm 42 and we still get presents from St. Nick. A beautiful lie! (I include the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all the other wonderful make-believe figments of society's imagination.

Saint Nicholas is real, but he ded and he's not the one we imagined. He doesn't look like we think he does (I think he was actually pretty skinny), he didn't come down chimneys, he didn't watch you, he didn't give presents to only the nice people, he gave them to the ones who were struggling in life: financially, etc, etc.

I'm 11. My mom and dad had a talk with me that santa wasn't real. I already knew santas at the mall weren't real santa, but I didn't know my parents were. Mom let me touch Michael(the elf). I already suspected that santa was fake, but the talk was just confirming it. My little brother who is 9 still believes in santa. Michael is in mom's top drawer.

2 We love each of you children equally

Haha, I don't know why parents even bother saying this. Newsflash: Kids know when you favor a kid.

"YEAH RIGHT! ' Then how come my sister got money for her high school graduation but when I graduated from high school I got NOTHING? >:(

Right! That's how come Cathy got a car and I didn't.

Maybe to my dad but my mum likes my sister a LOT more.

3 Don't cross your eyes or else they will get stuck

I thought this was true until about ten seconds ago! Well I feel stupid...

4 Don't masturbate or you'll go blind

I Heard that In Grand Theft Auto 5 While Hearing Ron Talking About That On His Radio Show BCR Commity Hour

5 Don't pee in the pool or a red ring of ink will surround you

My Uncle Mike told me this one! It worked. I was deathly afraid of embarrassing myself - even the slightest urge had me scampering out of the water to the bathroom. Brilliant! I've told it a few times myself.

So you'll go to hell?

That Never Happened

Yeah... “red ink.”

6 You can't go swimming until an hour after you eat

Well this one is sort of true but I don't think you need to wait that long. Exercising immediately after eating can cause some problems, though, because when you exercise the blood flow is diverted away from the digestive system to the muscles that need the energy so that you don't get tired too easily. But really you don't need to wait an hour. I normally don't exert myself too much when I swim anyway.

Chalk this one up to ignorance. Just parents repeating the same crap their parents told them. Somebody must stop the cycle of BS. - although I do remember a particularly harsh burpy swim practice after downing a whole pizza.

In 2011 my cousins and I went to Camelbeach and the first thing that we did after lunch was swim in the pool

7 Don't swallow the seeds or a watermelon tree will grow out of your mouth

I won a watermelon eating contest at Pizmo Beach in the summer of '77 and I must have swallowed a thousand of them - No Tree!

There wouldn't be enough sun, soil, water, etc. for the seed to grow. Plus, how would the seed germinate inside a stomach?

I’m Asian and while growing up I listened to this Cantonese kid’s song that claims that if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow out of your head (which, of course, is total BS because I have tested that theory and nothing actually happened to me)

8 Men don't cry

Found that one out the hard way!

I am a man and I OFTEN CRY! not a crybaby.

9 It won’t hurt. I promise

the beating wont hut promis

Lol to the Lol

10 Don't swallow your gum. It takes 7 years to digest.

Pure parental bull crap! I should have asked dad to show me his medical degree. Lucky for him it was pre-Google. Would have loved to call him out on that one!

I have swallowed gum multiple times so this is fake.-DarkBoi-X

They also say that if u swallow your gum it will grow in your stomach that's is bs cause I do it all the time and I am good

The Contenders
11 Video games will rot your brain

I sometimes play video games all day, and I am one of the smartest people in my class

No they don't! Parents just want an excuse to stop you from playing video games!

My cousins and I play games and we have good grades in school

Partially bs but violent games basically turn ya into murderers

12 This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you

What? Not unless a razor is sticking out of my butt!

13 There is a tooth fairy

When I was younger I stupidly believed in this. I put my tooth under my pillow, and when I woke up the next day, it was still there.

There is “a the” tooth fairy?

I put ma tooth under ma pillow I wake up the next day and oh look omg a single dollar I'm rich now >_<

14 You can be anything when you grow up

Asian parent: You can only be doctor, lawyer, or engineer!

I want to be a toilet!

I will be a sticker

I wanna be an atom

15 When the ice cream truck plays music, that means it’s out of ice cream

"But mom, look! The ice cream truck stopped, and all the kids are surrounding it! "

Whoever made this up is the big gay

16 I have eyes in the back of my head
17 Kids who don’t go to school will grow up to be hobos

This is true though

There’s help for them

18 There is an Easter bunny
19 Adults don't cry

I’m an adult and I cry sometimes

There’s No One Who Doesn’t Cry

20 School is fun

The rules, bullies, work, long hours, and mean teachers ruin the fun

Yep, being with people you can’t stand, bullied and having some of your teachers be horrible at their job is totally fun!

So doing exams are fun?

That’s the biggest lie I ever heard, by the way, I’m at school making this comment!

21 Fairies are real
22 The dog went to live on a farm

Aka fatality

23 If you dream about the deceased, it means that they want you dead along with them

Somehow my mom dreamt about my late Grandpa Edward when she was pregnant with me. She is still alive

24 You need to have clear pee

It is not impossible sometimes I have clear wee you have to be hydrated enough though

It's impossible

over hydration

25 We found you in the garbage

What? Why would you tell your kids that?

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