Best Michael Scott Quotes


The Top Ten

1 That's what she said.

If there was ever one quintessential Michael Scott quote, it's this one. No matter how many times you hear it (or use it), it's a timeless classic. Thank you The Office.

I found myself saying this for a week after a The Office marathon viewing session. Got some weird looks..

No matter when he says it or about what it is great,
it always leaves me laughing on into the next scene.

This is my iPhone background. A picture a Michael with bold captions "That's What She Said"

2 "I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself... so, most nights before I go to bed I will lay out 6 strips of bacon out on my foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. Wh

I absolutely fell in love with this episode I die of laughter every time I watch it and constantly bring it up whenever it's even possible to be honest.

3 I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday.

Great series, great guy. Sometimes I go to sleep thinking if I was in the office then I would I have a great time and meet some great people. Great.

This quote is just so classic and capures so much about Michael - it's hilarious for reasons Michael didn't see, but also a little sad. It shows his daftness and his heart.


4 People ask me, would you rather be feared or loved, um easy, I want people to be afriad of how much they love me

It's one of the first Michael quotes that really stuck with me. And I use it as an outro in my emails... Everyone needs some Michael Scott in their life.

Oh Geez so mushy!
I love this quote... makes me feel warm inside!

5 I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.

I have worms as well.

6 Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy

Michael Scott is a man of character, of those features that I value the most in people. It's such a pity people don't get to say what they think and all their lives pretend to understand each other.

7 I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

I spit my drink out laughing so hard at this!

8 There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

To the person below, it's because Charlie Brown says good grief as an exclamation

I don't get this one will someone please explain.

9 It's not like booze ever killed anyone
10 I'm not superstitious... I'm a little stitious

Aren't we all?

The Contenders

11 “If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

I'm gonna start using that one for everybody I dislike. Great one

Just because nobody really was meant to like Toby. WATCH THE SHOW PEOPLE!

I laugh every time I hear this!

12 When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

Michael Scott is my dream boss. When I imagine my life before the office, I realise of how dull it was. (lol) This show is the best show ever.

13 You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Great word play. One of my fave ep.

14 Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me - no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
15 Dwight, you ignorant slut

I really don't know why this is so funny

best quote

This one's a keeper

I have this on a pillow 😂

16 Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It's a tangible thing you can point at and say "Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth."
17 Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
18 It takes you thirty seconds to brush your teeth. Wow that's ten times as long as it takes me.
19 Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. (to Toby)

Michael Scott may have his flaws, but all he really wants in this world is to bring happiness to everybody (and be liked for it). I always enjoyed his bizarre hatred of Toby, but in this line it becomes so clear that it isn't random, but that Toby's philosophy on life is too different from Michael's own.

I saw this episode, then I realized t's just like my brother and the rest of my family. We try something fun and he sucks the joy out of it, always complaining. He is the "Toby" of the I think now that I see this quote I'm going to use it...

Wow! What an excellent quote! I really love this show and everything about it is good. All the time. Minimum comment quality reached.

20 It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
21 You Have No Idea How High I Can Fly.
22 Well, well, well; how the turntables....

Greatest quote ever

23 The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors.
24 I say dance, They say how high?
25 What flavor is it? Blue. Blue isn't a flavor Jim! Flavor... Blue Blast. Blue Blast, oh I love Blue Blast.

I love the fact that you thought of this episode to quote Michael from. Most people forget the amazing comedic sense of the first season, but I'm sorry to say that you've quoted it incorrectly. In this scene, Michael is cleaning out his car with the help of Ryan. Ryan finds a bottle of some sort of drink in the back of the car and asks Michael what he should do with it. Michael then asks what the flavor is and Ryan responds with blue. Ryan. Not Jim.

26 Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
27 No god please no, Noooooooooo
28 It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.

Been laughing all day and yesterday and probably tomorrow too :) love the Office

29 Yeah I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?

The version of this in the deleted scenes is even better.

30 Guess who I'm dressed as, he can fly, he can walk on water, and he can heal leopards
31 If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Mussolini, and Toby.... I'd shoot Toby twice.

This one made me laugh so hard when I watched the episode


32 Jan: Well Michael, I underestimated you. Michael: Yeah, Well maybe next time you will estimate me.
33 Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't know where it is going, I just hope I'll find it along the way.
34 "Am I going to tell them? No I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point in that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer."
35 The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant
36 That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an oranvodjuice..ka
37 "And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."
38 I saw inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
39 Michael are you having money problems? Monkey problems? No I'm not having monkey problems? Why would I be having monkey problems?
40 To Oscar: is there something besides "Mexican" you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?
41 Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.

Senior quote 10/10

42 Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.


I only chose this because this scene was HILARIOUS

44 Never, ever, ever give up
45 I don't want people coming to work saying I might die today, that's what a hospital is for
46 Where are all the hot people? I was told there would hot people here and as far as I can tell I'm the best looking one here
BAdd New Item