Best Quotes from The Office (US)


The Top Ten

1 That's what she said. - Michael Scott
2 Toby Flenderson is everything that's wrong with the paper business - Michael Scott
3 Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones - Dwight Schrute

This was in my fav episode of the office - ballaboi17

4 Michael's like Mozart and I'm like... Butch Cassidy. You with Mozart and your gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy. - Dwight Schrute
5 I declare BANKRUPTCY! - Michael Scott
6 I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter, who builds stairs. - Andy Bernard
7 What if Pam was a lesbian and she brought her partner to work and they made out? In front of everyone! - Michael Scott
8 If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. - Michael Scott

I can't stop laughing. This show will always be one of my favorites. Besides Jim and Dwight's "friendship" Michael's hatred of Toby has always been one of the funniest things in the show. Plus the added irony of Michael falling for Holly who has the same job as Toby..priceless. - NerdBunny

9 I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive? - Michael Scott
10 Ryan started the fire - Dwight Schrute

The Contenders

12 Bankruptcy, Michael, is nature's do-over - Creed Bratton
13 I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them - Andy Bernard
14 If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice. - Dwight Schrute
15 People I respect, heroes of mine would be Bob Hope, um, Abraham Lincoln, definitely. Bono, uh and probably God, would be the fourth one and I just think all those people really, uh, helped the world in so many ways that it's, um, it's really beyond words.
16 Am I a hero? I really can't say... but yes. - Michael Scott
17 Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. - Michael Scott
18 What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy! - Todd Packer
19 Damnit Dwight, Enough! Get your ass downstairs, or find a new place to sell paper!
20 Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica - Jim Halpert as Dwight Shrute
21 Toby Flenderson to the principal's office. Your mother called, and it appears that you wet your bed again.
BAdd New Item