Best Simpsons Quotes

The best quotes from the wittiest and most quotable show on television.

The Contenders: Page 3

41 Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing.&quo
42 Ow! My eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it! - Lenny

I love Lenny. Best background character!

This is one of my favorites! I thought it would be higher

V 1 Comment
43 I'm already feeling like a chicken, I just made an egg in my pants - Ralph Wiggum at a chicken pox party
44 "Hello Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on!" - Mr Burns

Uum? You'd probably should ignore that. (Smithers to Lisa after his screen saver is revealed to be a naked Mr Burns).

45 I was saying Boo-urns... - Hans Moleman

Hilarious quote by Moleman, haha this one is applicable every day!

V 2 Comments
46 What?s a wedding? Webster?s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one?s garden. - Homer Simpson


47 Can you open my milk Mommy? - Ralph Wiggum
48 Close your eyes, Marge. I have a surprise for you - Homer Simpson (whilst pointing a gun at her face)
49 My cat Mittens smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
50 There, pretty as a picture ... Ach! Zombies! ... There, pretty as a picture. - Groundskeeper Willie
51 Let's see... Farmer Billy's smoke-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's bacon-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's travel bacon... Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself, I also sell handguns! - Apu

Thank you for making this list.
Thank you for adding this hilarious quote to the list.
Thank you for writing this episode.
Thank you, and please come again!

52 I bent my wookie - Ralph Wiggum
53 I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz* - Moe Szyslak

Moe on the lie detector test

Haha means he really deserved it

54 My country 'tis of thee, Austria-Hungary, obey your king. - Mr. Burns

This should be near the top, especially Smithers explaining it to Mr. Burns why it was incorrect.

55 Arrrrrrrrrrr my hairstyle - Marge
56 (Marge) Homer there is a family of possums in here (Homer) I call the big one bitey.
57 My nose makes its own bubblegum (blows a snot bubble) - Ralph Wiggum

ewww! thats gross! but funny - flowerchild4eva

58 Ahh blow back - Ralph Wiggum
59 Get bent - Bart Simpson

Yep funny when he said it to martin before

60 Taxes? I thought this was the line for Metallica - Otto Mann
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Best Homer Simpson Quotes Best Simpsons Movie Quotes Best Lisa Simpson Quotes Best Marge Simpson Quotes Top 10 Jessica Simpson Quotes

List Stats

3,000 votes
176 listings
12 years, 92 days old

Top Remixes (9)

1. "Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic..." - Homer Simpson
2. English, who needs that? I'm never going to England - Homer Simpson
3. Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
1. Doh - Homer Simpson
2. Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
3. I Call the Big One Bitey - Homer Simpson
1. Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.' - Lionel Hutz
2. Maude Flanders: I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they shut that place down!
3. Gah, Stupid sexy Flanders! - Homer

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