Rocking With Regret: Lulu by Lou Reed and Metallica (Re-Review)

christangrant
I have actually reviewed this album before but now i'm giving it a 2nd look and before i get to tearing apart another awful Black Veil Brides album i want to review what is possibly the most hated album in the metal genre and possibly all of rock as well. So on this day we will be talking about Lulu by Lou Reed and Metallica which many have regarded this as the worst metal album but my question is "Is it really the worst?" well let's find out but first some facts.
Lulu is a collaboration album by Lou Reed and Metallica and was released in October 31, 2011 through Warner Bros in U.S. and Vertigo everywhere else. This album was the last album Lou Reed worked on before his death in 2013. This album consists of spoken word delivered by Lou Reed over Instrumentals by Metallica. This is also a double album meaning their are two discs and each disc contains a different play. So with that being said let's review this album track by track and see if we can answer the question i had.

Brandenburg Gate:

The first line of this entire album is "I would cut my legs and t*ts off" that just sums it up at how bad this song is. This song is actually the worst song from this album yeah this is not a good way to start an album the Instrumental is repetitive and boring and this is Metallica we are talking about and as for Lou Reed's spoken words it's awful and overall this song is bad and possibly the worst song Metallica ever was apart of.
Rating 5/10

The View:

Well we are already at the most hated song on this album and to be honest i don't get why. I actually somewhat like some of the lyrics of this song that Lou Reed Wrote like " For worship someone Who actively despises you" i like that part of the song and also this song is comedic gold because of one line "I AM THE TABLE" yeah the instrumental is ok too it kinda sounds a bit doomish while it is repetitive its better than the last song overall i think this song is ok mostly because "I AM THE TABLE" gave me a good laugh.
Rating 7/10

Pumping Blood:

I like the intro riff of this song but it only lasts for about 20 seconds then Lou Reed's vocals come in and the song just get's worse and worse. While this song is not as bad as Brandenburg Gate it's still bad only the first 40 seconds and maybe the last 20 seconds as well of this song is good and after that it just gets worse.
Rating 5/10

Mistress Dread:

It's starts off with a ok thrash riff but it's repetitive quick and Lou Reed's vocals ruin it even more for me but i will say it's not the worst i've heard and Lou Reed was 69 when he sang this but yeah this song is another bad song not much else to say so let's move on.
Rating 5/10

Iced Honey:

And here we have a pretty descent song the riff is descent enough and Lou Reed's vocals aren't that bad here it sounds like they were putting more effort into this song while it does have it's faults it's ok had the whole album been as good as this song i don't think it would be that bad i mean yeah it would be Metallica's weakest album but it wouldn't be regarded as one of the worst metal albums of all time. This song doesn't feel too long like some of the other songs on this album and that is a good thing.
Rating 8/10

Cheat on Me:

This song is 11 Minutes and 25 seconds long and this song feels way too long. This song feels more like a Lou Reed song rather than a Metallica song and because i'm not a fan of Lou Reed i wouldn't care for this song but since this has Metallica's name attached to it i have to talk about it. This song is boring in my opinion it takes almost 4 minutes for Lou Reed to start spearing and around 4 and half minutes for Metallica to come in and it sounds like it's going to build up to an awesome instrumental which it doesn't all that build up for nothing just more of the same boring riffs and overall this song is bad in a boring way and is very disappointing.
Rating 5/10

So thats the end of Disc 1 out of the 6 tracks only 2 of them are somewhat descent and i normally would rate all the songs at the end of the album but since this album is two discs i'm going to rate each disc separately and then combine the scores at the end.

So since theirs only 6 songs on Disc 1 it will be rated out of 60

so

8 + 7+ 5(x4) = 35/60

so Disc one is only 5 points above the half way mark. but that's only the first Disc let's move to Disc 2

Frustration:

How ironic that this song is called Frustration because well that pretty much sums up this whole album aside from a few songs but anyway it's starts off decently enough the riff is descent but it only lasts for about a few minutes then the song starts to get well frustrating the instrumental after the one in the beginning is frustrating and tends to make you angry and plus Lou Reed's vocals don't help and plus the lyrics are bad not the worst i have read but pretty bad because it repeats this line "Spermless like a girl" which gets frustrating hearing that line over and over again overall if the song was shorter maybe 4 minutes and it was only the instrumental from the beginning and somewhat the middle as well i don't think this song would be that bad but this song as it is it's bad.
Rating 5/10

Little Dog:

Oh great a acoustic song with almost no metal riffs at all which basically this song is a full on Lou Reed song because you could replace Metallica with any other artist on this song and it wouldn't matter because they wouldn't be used anyway. But back to the song the lyrics of this song are bad in my opinion i get what Lou Reed is trying to write here but i just don't like these lyrics and since the instrumental is just a boring acoustic guitar riff this song just bores me and the worst part is this song is 8 minutes long and goes on for way too long.
Rating 5/10

Dragon:

Hey another descent song from this album the riffs actually are pretty descent here while this song starts off kinda weak but when the riffs come in it gets good. This song is 11 minutes and 10 seconds while i do think this song could be a little bit shorter it still a pretty descent song probably the 3rd best song on this album behind Iced Honey. and the next song.
Rating 8/10

Junior Dad:

This song is 19 Minutes and 30 Seconds long good lord that's the longest song Metallica has ever done but in all honesty despite this song being really long it's actually not that bad. This feels kind of like a prog metal song because of it's long length and the riffs here are actually pretty good they aren't that repetitive and Lou Reed does alright here it's sad though because this is the last song Lou Reed ever recorded vocals for before he passed away, But at least he didn't go out on a downer because this song is the 2nd best song on this album while i do think it's a little bit too long its still a good song.
Rating 8/10

So with the end of Disc 2 let's add up the scores for Disc 2 and since theirs only 4 songs it will be /40

so

8(x2) + 5(x2) = 26/40

Disc two is only slightly better than disc 1 but what we want to know is the full score of this album so let's see what both scores combines together equal.

so

35 + 26 = 61

Album Rating 61/100

and now to answer the question is this the worst metal album? the answer is no while it is a bad album in my opinion it's not the worst because there are some descent songs, riffs, Lyrics and even some Humor from this album. It is Metallica's weakest album but it's not the worst thing i have ever heard.

anyway this is the end of the review and leave a comment if you so wish.

Comments

Good review on a bad album. - Skullkid755

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