Joseph Teti


Why look - its doofus joe teti-- all the way to 23, my my my. Really going places you are..9 percent - that would be a cool nickname for him.9- hey.9, whats for lunch? Hey.9, how come you ran after 9/11? Hey.9, can I see your survival diploma? Hey.9, what time is it? Just getting the feel of it. Hey point 9- you know Ralph is looking for you?

Hey dude I am throwing you a rope, grab it. You are in danger of falling off the bottom of the list. you got rocks in your pack or something? Why are you dropping? Where is the broom squad? Oh, I see someone left garlic here. They can't get to you. Oh - sorry

O% - really? 0%? Come on now - mr teti is world renown for his ability to, wait what was it - oh yea, world renown pressure washer - that can help you survive, right? Or leave the service right after 9/11, and then 10 years later claim war hero status. The MAN - SALUTE

I think you are getting the hang of it! Now since imitation is the greatest form of flattery, I am flattered. I do want to correct you, this show headlines one person only, I share no stage- I am an artist you see. The hospital is down state by the way, and it is not a furlough- I have escaped. Ha ha- yes free, I am free - and tickets are $3.50 with a two drink minimum. See its all in the details. Take you bout 6 months to catch up to me- haha- yes I am still laughing, how you doing? Haha

Hey just spoke with Monique - we watched together as you guys were booted and deleted from the DS site - man was that funny. Now who was pushing who's buttons? HA HA- the girl done did you all, and we watched it live and in color - gonna be laughing all night - oh yea, almost forgot -ahem - SHOP AT HOME, DUAL RIDICULOUS, DISCOVER THE DIFFERENCE

How is this stolen valor fake even listed here? Such a lying sack of crap shouldn't even be on this list

Nothing else? Really? Come now there is only one of you who even comes close to matching me, I don't know why you waited to bring em up to bat. Better you get some practice in now, later in the season it will become a faster moving game, when my team takes the field. Give it a go people. Will over skill----

And they round the clubhouse turn, its favorite jack, minute one and longhorn dave on the outside - wait folks its chicken joe moving up the field on the inside - look at that jockey urging him on -folks we got us a horse race -

Joseph Teti- the tile fish of survival dudes. Lives way down in the deep here at the bottom of the sea. Not much of a survivalist, but can make a mean apple pie I am told.

He says he is a survivalist - he is on a show - let him be on the list

Step right folks, we have a new side show, featuring the Psychotic rants of the infamous Jay Ruggio! Released on a short term furlough from an Up state New York, New York mental Hospital. He and his sidekick, Captain Chicken Hawke will be preforming their one of a kind act of Lies and Deceit and general Insanity. It's a must see show and tickets are free at the door.

Hey this is that survival guy with the magic watch. I have heard of him. Isn't he on T.V. ? Yes this is that jump in a hole guy, then his watch climbed out and threw him a rope. That was really cool. Where can I buy a watch like that

That's it - you can do it -i think I can I think I can - will over skill boy - chicken joe, the man the myth the legend in his own mind, heeres chick teti

This whole voting for a fake thing is not fair - is Mr Teti a fake survivalist? Well that's like calling me a fake Preacher Chicken, wait, oh that's right -- sorry, I just figured it out-- one fake chasing another-- get it? Haha

Hi people- This is JT. First thanks to all of you for the votes. SALUTE to you all. I just want to be honest at this point - as you know I am not really a survivalist, and I have no real skills. So I wanted to tell you all the reason I can survive is the watch I wear. This watch is amazing, it builds fire, makes shelter-- last night it cooked me dinner. This watch is actually my body double on T.V.. I was not the one who shot the deer, or stabbed the pig. That was my watch. This season my watch and I plan on teaching Matt many things - so please tune in, my watch appreciates it.

Hey people you are not holding up your end- the general has slipped to 24 @.8%---.8 is not a cool nickname, and I already ok'ed the printer to run at.9 -- do your jobs people, I put him on for you, now lets get moving (this has been a paid announcement)

Alright 1%--- stuck in traffic but moving slowly along --- see I gave you fools something to do-- yes I did it- me, Ralph - try a little harder, you will get there, I am sure - I am counting on you all - there will be new watch in it for everyone -- wee,

Ok Mr teti displays amazing talents on T.V.. I am quite impressed by his ability to stay calm and focused in all situations. He seems trained and gravitates toward firearms, which is really cool and tough. IF ONLY I KNEW THE NAME OF HIS NEW SHOW so I could start the re-branding process. The tie in to the zippo watch, the sre-enough knife and the shades takes time to take hold, please don' keep me in suspense -cluck cluck baby -joe "chick" teti alright now, we got us a game to play

This season on Dual Survival -Mr Teti shows us a new way to make fire in the wilderness -- take two (2) Cassio Pro Tech (signature limited edition series) watches, and rub them together. Instant flame. Shop At Home, Dual Ridiculous, Discover The Difference. Can the watch also kill a snake? Good question! Tune in next week and find out!

Oh look- I am now famous - the "psychotic Mr Ruggio" - sounds like a Vegas lounge act - hey that's an idea - Call the general, tell him I need some Vegas contacts. Tell him my truck is dirty also. Then we can go "survive" in a casino. Waitress service, no sweat for the general. Hey its perfect - they don't let you make fire in the casino, so no one will know. No holes to jump in, but lots of fake chests, some with medals, some without. Hi EK, did you tell Joe you invented Ralph? How did that go over? Want me to tell him? I can ask Ralph to break it to him ---

Folks I did not think it could get any funnier- then it did- now this clown is at #78 -with 0, that's 0 percent -- hahaa cluck haha

Joe's attitude is tough and seemingly invincible when it comes to the ability to survive in any situation. He gets my vote for sure.

Yes mr chicken joe- we see you --- do you really want to re live the experience? we have the time. Chicken Joe folks - survival expert who finds rifles and bullets in the wilderness - then gets hit by the scope after cleaning it backwards. Hey who needs shelter, water and fire - all we need is a close up of me firing a rifle. See- 50 years old and I have mastered the art of using one finger to pull a trigger - WOW! a well educated life.Bozo

Concentrate people- Ralph needs the platform - he doesn't want to be associated with a loser/poser --oh sorry, did I offend you? Rech out your wings people, reach out - Colonel Sanders gonna make lunch out of you -- extra crispy?

Judging by the smell of things I see the psychotic Mr. Ruggio has been here with his pal Mr. Chicken Hawke. Just remember fellas, when you leave take the flies with you.